Gantu quotes from Lilo & Stitch: The Series

Gantu

[growls with rage] Hairball! I am Gantu! Former captain of the Galactic Alliance! Conqueror of Paskimerus Militia! AND VAN GUARD COMMANDER OF BLACK OOL OPS! YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE ME!!!!

Gantu

I mean, I... missed my bus.

Gantu

Oh, blitznak!

Gantu

Huh?! San Francisco?! Oh, dumb blitznak!

Gantu

Experiment 297: Designed to sabotage mechanical and electrical devices.

So just as I was talking about what a doorknob you are, this experiment fell into my lap. Sure was easy to catch him! Anyway, I just he'd be a good sidekick for you to chase experiments with, then both you knuckleheads can get creamed by the little girl and 626. Meanwhile, I can stay home and do what I do best.

Nothing...

Gantu

You've got something I need: power! This could be the start of a beautiful relationship. [chuckles evilly]

On the first day of Christmas, I just made for me.... a saaaaaaaaaandwich [Gantu gets caught in a decoration] Hey, flounder face! We've you been? Grab a holiday hoagie and enjoy the party!

Gantu

You can waste your time with this ridiculous Earth custom if you want, but for once, I have the upper hand. Hämsterviel's been on the rampage lately, but this should please him. [pulls out an experiment pod] I've obtained a dormant experiment pod.

Now just ho-ho-hold on a minute there, tuna toes! You're not just gonna transport the pod to Hämsterviel, are ya? It's Christmas! Everybody's giving each other gifts.

Gantu

Perhaps you're right. If I wrap this up in holiday paper with a bow, it might get the little gerbil off my dorsal fin.

Sure! Everyone likes getting presents, even megalomaniacal rodents with delusions of galactic domination.

Gantu

Hmm.... I should get this wrapped. [leaves to get wrapping supplies]

Oh, hey, hey! If you wanna blend in out there, you better where a red suit and hat! Everyone's wearing 'em!

Gantu

[gets ready to stomp on Lilo] I should have done this a long time ago!

Lilo

Go ahead! You've already ruined Christmas for everyone!

Gantu

I ruined Christmas?! You're the one who took the present I was planning to give to Hämsterviel!

Lilo

You were going to give Hämsterviel a gift?

Gantu

Well, yes. Isn't that what your Christmas holiday is all about? Giving presents.

Lilo

Actually, you're right.

Stitch

Ichalagu?

Lilo

It's not about getting presents. It's about giving.

Santa? Do I get a present?

Gantu

You?! A proto Earth form? Don't be ridiculous! Why would I-- [the girl gives him a sad look] No! That's not fair! Stop looking at me like that! Seize using your ocular orbs against sympathy! [sighs] This is an infectious holiday you have on this planet. Perhaps this is a present we could all enjoy. I can always find something else to send to Hämsterviel. [gives the present to the little girl]

Hämsterviel

You have an experiment? Give it to me! FASTER!!! Why are you so slow, you slow sharky thing?! You are the most incompetent of incompetence! And another I have been meaning to tell you... [Hunkahunka pecks him, causing him to feel a love connection with Gantu] I think I love you!

Gantu

Really? Tell me more.

Hämsterviel

Like that idiotic look on your face when you have no clue what you are doing, it is so disgustingly cute! And all those stupid things you say, oh, how you make me laugh! I love it!

Gantu

Oh, blitznack.

Gantu

625, turn that thing off! I'm trying to get this communication relay online, and you're not helping!

Aw, what's the matter? Can't handle plugging in wires by yourself? At least I'll be ready in case of a sandwich shortage.

Gantu

Shortage?!

[imitates a newsreel fanfare] Newsflash from the crash nebula, space whale! There was a quake today! I'm not taking chances. I'm stocking up.

Hämsterviel

Well, where is my stink bomb?!

Gantu

I'm afraid the little girl and the abomination...

Hämsterviel

Again?! You with your large stomping feet and shooting blaster can't get one experiment from a little girl?! Tell me how lame you are! TELL ME!!!

Whoa! Hmm, well, there's no right answer there. I'd put it somewhere in the S's between "Shockingly lame" and "Stunningly lame".

Gantu

Please. I'm having a meeting.

Hämsterviel

Stop it with the not paying attention to me! Now get that experiment before I come there and nibble your flabby knuckles, you blue-tinted, offspring of a fish!

Gantu

Yessir!

Stitch

Nala kweesta! Ha-ha!

Gantu

One day, you'll fail to protect one of those experiments! And I will take it away forever!

Ichiba!

Ih! Ih! Keeba! [the both vanish]

Stitch

[chuckles sinisterly] La-dee-da-dee! [tosses Gantu's gun] Oopsie!

Hämsterviel

Contact Gantu.

Gantu

Yes, Dr. Hämsterviel?

Hämsterviel

Explain to me, you overgrown sea bass, why mechanic hamster on cam holds no evil genetic experiments?

Gantu

There haven't been any experiments activated recently…

Warning: Experiment 520 activated.

Gantu

...until now.

Hämsterviel

Mmm-hmm, and, uh, what are you waiting for? GET IT AND SEND IT TO ME!!!

Gantu

625! [hops into the main room but fall over]

Whoa! Rough day? Whoo! You look like last week's lettuce!

Gantu

Get a blaster! Hurry!

[grabs a blaster] Okay, now what?

Gantu

Cut me free, you insipid trog!

You're in luck, fish breath. I took a class in advanced applied blasting. [fires the blaster]

Gantu

Hey!

Oops! [fires the blaster again]

Gantu

Careful!

Sorry! [fires the blaster once more]

Gantu

Ow!

Stop squirming!

Gantu

Ooh!

My bad.

Gantu

You almost vaporized me!

Oh, yeah? That's what my teacher used to say!

Hey, going out to capture a useless experiment, huh?

Gantu

Useless, perhaps, but this one should be easy.

Yeah, right, halibut head! That's what you said about the other two or three dozen!

Gantu

Ah, but I have a new strategy: Since the little girl and the abomination always seem one step ahead of me, I'll simply follow them! [laughs but then hears thunder] Ah, thundershower! Hmm, maybe Hämsterviel doesn't need this experiment. He's in jail anyway. How would he find out if...

[talking to Hämsterviel] That's exactly what he said, sir: "Maybe Hämsterviel doesn't need this experiment!" [Gantu angrily glares at 625] Don't forget your umbrella!

Gantu

By the luck of the Fubockoo Nebula! Two experiments at the same time! Do you realize what this means?! Dr. Hämsterviel will pay a double bounty on delivery! [625 is sitting in his chair, reading a book] Eh, 625? [no response, Gantu removes the book to see that 625 is really fast asleep] 625!!

[wakes up to see Gantu in a towel] Ooh, yow! Not what I like to see when I first wake up! [gets up to leave]

Gantu

[blocks the way out] I've been thinking...

Ooh, careful! Don't hurt yourself using all that brain power!

Gantu

It's time you started pulling your weight around here. You're going to help me capture those experiments!

Y'know what, babe, I would love to, but I can't. It'd cut in to my sandwich schedule.

Gantu

[grabs 625 and gets ready to punch him] Add this to you schedule: A knuckle sandwich!

Just lost my appetite! Fine, I'll go! [Gantu drops him] Whoa! Hold on, brainiac! Don't you think it'd be better if we split up and each went after one experiment?

Gantu

What? I'd just leave you alone to goof off?!

If Wittle Gantu needs me to hold his hand and go witch him, I will!

Gantu

Fine! We'll each catch our own!

Good! I'll just pack some sandwiches.

Gantu

Did you hear that?! Those experiments have escaped again, thanks to you!

Lilo

Oh, no!

Oh, that is so pathetic that you have to blame for your screwup! Hmph!

Gantu

If we had worked together in the first place, like I said, we wouldn't be in this mess!

Lilo

The big dummy is right, Stitch.

Stitch

Ih.

Lilo

Maybe if we worked together...

Jumba

Never mind making up! First, be finding 501 and 502 and making certain they do not make with the touching or tapping or patting!

Lilo

Why do you keep saying that?

Jumba

If I'm telling once, I'm telling more than once! Lava genius experiment and water genius experiment must not touch!

Lilo

Wait a minute, that's not what David said.

Jumba

And what does local surfer boy know of this?!

Lilo

Maybe it's what he was trying to tell us about Yin and Yang: two very different things come together to make on good thing. Like peanut butter and jelly. Or doughnuts and mustard.

Stitch

Stitch and Lilo?

Lilo

Yeah.