[Lilo arrives at the Halloween party dressed up as a dead hula girl with scary makeup and a fake axe on her head, frightening all the other guests]
MosesLilo, your costume…
Isn't it cool? Watch this! [twangs her axe handle]
Moses
Yes, but… Well, maybe you should change it to something more like... like what your friends are wearing. [gestures to Mertle and the girls; who are all dressed up like princesses]
Princess, princess, princess, or princess?
At least we're not a weirdo, weirdo, weirdo, or weirdo!
YTYuki, Teresa and Elena
YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!
Okay. I'll be a princess, too.
Moses
Good idea. [as Lilo leaves] You go home, change, and then come back.
Or go home, change, and don't come back!
[Moses sighs]
[After 520 creates a giant wave to wash away Gantu]
I'm gonna name you, Cannonball, because you like to make waves.
Moses
Congratulations, Lilo! [places the first place ribbon on Lilo's sand sculpture] Mertle's design is good, too, but you showed more aloha today. [gestures to the giant "ALOHA" signature on the tower]
[Stitch waits for Lilo outside her hula class]
Moses
Last rehearsal is tomorrow morning. Everybody practice tonight.
I don't need to practice. My hula story is already perfect. I call it "A Day in the Life of Mertle Edmonds." I thought it would be nice to share what it's like to be me. What's yours about this year, Weirdlo? Zombies again? [she and the other girls laugh; Stitch growls angrily at Mertle, but Lilo calms him down]
Not zombies, mummies! Big difference. But no, I have created an all new hula dance.
Let me guess: It's about something gross?
Mmm-hmm. Gross! We'll be sure to miss it.
YTYuki, Teresa and Elena
YYEEEEEAAAAAAHH!!
[as the hula girls laugh; Lilo and Stitch storm back home]
I'm gonna practice, alright. Until I'm better than perfect.
[Lilo gives her presentation on her idea to improve the hula school; Stitch pantomimes while she does this]
Ahem. Aliens are not folktales. They are real! And they can be deadly. Aliens are very sneaky. They can be 20 feet tall and look like a whale. [Stitch bends his ears to look like Gantu] Or they can disguise themselves as your very own uncle. [Stitch imitates Jumba's laugh] Or your very own aunt. [Stitch waves his arms wildly like Pleakley] They shoot laser beams and they can even rampage through a city. [Stitch rampages through a city made of fruit] Destroying everything in sight. They can strike anywhere at anytime. Including.... HERE!!
Moses
Lilo...
The Kia Luhale is a happy place. [Stitch holds up Scrump] But only because we are blissfully ignorant of the alien scourge that threatens to enslave all of humanity. [Stitch throws Scrump on the ground and chews on her] Ending us to its twisting will, and making us eat limes!
Moses
Lilo! What is your idea to improve Kia Luhale?
I think we need to install an alien invasion alarm, for the good of all humankind.
Oh, and any friendly aliens who may or may not be living here disguised as my dog. [she and Stitch take a bow]
Moses
Good work, today, class. But before you go, I have a reminder: Tomorrow is the Ohana-rama Trivia Championship. And this year, we have an outstanding grand prize. [hands fliers to Lilo and the hula girls]
Oh, goody. I get a prize!
And what makes you think your family's gonna win, Mertle?
Moses
It's a brand new computer! [the girls squeal in delight] So brush up on your trivia!
But you already have a computer!
Three, actually. That's why I'm a child progidy.
I bet Lilo's not smart enough to even have a computer.
I have advanced alien technology computers. And then there's my dog. He knows molecular physics!
[Stitch dashes away and back, showing his model of DNA strand made of bamboo shoots and coconuts]
I always knew you were dense, Lilo, but I didn't know you could be outsmarted by a dog.
YTYuki, Teresa, and Elena
YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!
But I know one thing for sure: If your family is half as thick as you are, you don't stand a chance at the Ohana-Rama.
[Lilo, Jumba and Pleakley are competing against Mertle, her mother, and her aunt Stacy in the Ohana-rama]
Moses
True or false: There is firm evidence of aliens from other planets visiting Earth.
[gasps] True! [Yaarp adds 10 points to the Pelekai's score chart]
Moses
I'm sorry that's incorrect. [Yaarp reluctantly takes the ten points away] Edmonds?
False! Only Weirdlo's weird enough to believe in aliens!
[Lilo finds out that Mertle is cheating by making Teresa look up the answers to every question Moses asked]
Come on, Stitch. No one's supposed to be back here. [sees Teresa typing her laptop]
Moses hasn't asked a science question in a while, so I'll keep that page open.
[Lilo then looks at Mertle, wearing an earpiece up close]
[responding] Good. Just be ready to tell me the answers.
Mertle's cheating! No wonder she seems so smart. [looks at Spike as an idea pops in her head, and smirks] Poor Teresa. Having to do slave work for Mertle. I bet she could use a hug.
[Spike runs up and pokes his quills in Teresa while hugging her, making her all goofy]
[screams] Get off me! Buh!
Come on, Stitch. I think we can handle Mertle now.
Moses
Mertle, this next question is for you. Complete this phrase: "For every action, there is an equal and opposite... blank."
Oh, a science question. That's easy. For every action, there is an equal and opposite...
[goofily] Bucket of monkeys!
Bucket of monkeys. [the audience bursts out, laughing] That's not what I meant! I meant...
Moses
I'm sorry. That's incorrect. Lilo's team?
Considering multidimensional pull of deltarian antimatter-
Moses
That's correct.
[Yaarp honks and adds 10 points to Lilo's team]
Hmm. Is highly oversimplified.
[enraged] THAT'S NOT FAIR!
SAunt Stacy
Oh, be quiet, Maureen.
[pulls her aunt by the shirt] My name is Mertle! [gets back in her seat]
Maybe Aunt Stacy and I should answer some questions now, dear.
No! It won't happen again! It better not!
[Moses volunteers two players to compete in the lightning round and Lilo faces off against Mertle and wins the championship]
Weirdlo? I'm playing against you? This is gonna be easier than I thought.
You don't scare me, Mertle.
Moses
Are you ready, girls? First question. Where is the Eiffel Tower located?
Moses
10 points for Lilo. What did Neil Armstrong say when he landed on the moon?
"This is one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."
Moses
Correct! How many feet are in a mile?
Moses
Who wrote "Hamlet"?
Moses
[as Mertle agitatedly twitches her left eye] And the score is tied.
[goofily] I like pickles!
[Mertle furiously takes off the earpiece, throws it on the ground, and crushes it with her foot]
Moses
This is your final question. What is the Hawaiian word for "friendship"?
[speechless] What kind of question is that? I don't know anything about friendship.
Moses
That's correct. Lilo's team wins!
[The audience cheers and applauds]
No fair! That was a dumb question.
Just because you didn't know it, doesn't mean it was dumb, Mertle.
Moses
Congratulations, Lilo. Your family wins the new computer and encyclopedias on DVD.
[storming off in rage with her mom and Aunt Stacy] I can't believe we lost! This is the WORST day of my life! [Spike overhears her and rushes over to hug her, pricking his quills in her butt] Stop hugging me! Ouch! Hey, that you--uh, [acts all goofy] Duh!
Moses
Aloha, Nani.
Oh, aloha, Kumu. You here on a date?
Moses
Well… yeah.
Moses
Okay… except Lilo rolled over Mertle Edmonds and her friends today and knocked them over.
Moses
Like a bowling ball. Has she been eating okay? 'Cause she's about this big.
Even junk food can't do that. [picks up a phone]
[Stitch spies on Lilo's hula class from the doorway]
Moses
Good hula class, keiki. But before you go, it's time to start thinking about ideas for our annual fundraiser.
I have one! Okay, what does this island need more than anything?
Vampires! People love vampires! And they pay good money for them to come to their luaus, weddings, and office parties. So we put on fangs, and people pay us a dollar to chase them! [pause] Or how about this? Book sale! We all write a super scary vampire book, and we each sell one million copies!
Ew! Girls, what smells?! Oh, it's Lilo's ideas!
[Yuki, Teresa and Elena laugh; Lilo charges at Mertle, but Moses holds her back]
Moses
Does anyone else have an idea?
But I didn't get to the part where we all star in the movie version!
How about selling candy bars?
[all the other hula girls clamor in agreement]
[everyone stares at Lilo]
[While Moses practices his hula dance, Mertle blows a trumpet loudly and gives it to Lilo, and she and her friends all point to her, making her take the blame]
Moses
Oh, Lilo.
Way to ruin the hula kahiko, Lilo!
Moses
[to the drummers] Sorry. Lilo is a bit of a free spirit.
Yeah, she's a big problem. [she and the other hula girls laugh]
Moses
As long as we're stopped, I have an announcement: Kimo, Kiko and I going to perform in Honolulu.
Moses
It means I'm going to be gone for a week, so my friend Mr. Kaponi will teach the next couple of classes, okay? So, please, everyone, behave.
Lilo & Stitch: The Series · 382 quotes
