Pleakley quotes from Lilo & Stitch: The Series

Pleakley

I've called you all together for an emergency earthquake readiness meeting. Now, planetary shaking is measured on what is called a Richter Scale. Today's quake was a 5.0, quite moderate and perfectly normal, but a good reminder to us all: be prepared and don't panic! I repeat: DO NOT! PANIC!

Pleakley

We're done with the pillow fight phase and have moved on to the facial phase! Come on, people! Stick to the schedule!

Pleakley

Well, it's goodbye service industry for us. We got a terrible review!

Jumba

I am absolutely refusing to be wearing this! It's too itchy! [he scratches so rigorously that his belly soon comes through] And that is least of problems!

Pleakley

[Dressed as Cleopatra] But you have to wear it! The Queen of the Nile demands it! Besides, I am not missing out on trick-or-treating on my first night of Heelowatty!

Lilo

It's pronounced "Halloween". I need a new costume: a princess. Can you make it quick?

Pleakley

Can I? Well, let me tell you I have the fastest fingers in my primitive Earth custom: fleeced and pinking shears class.

Pleakley

I do declare, we look simply marvelous! Don't we look marvelous? I think we do!

Jumba

Frankly, my dear, I am not giving darn. I hate this costume!

Pleakley

Fine, I'll just start over then! A whole new concept! I'm thinking... sequins, satin, Spain! I got it! Matador! Ole!

Pleakley, is that you?! [stepping out of the shadows] How come you never call?!

Pleakley

MOTHER!

Lilo

Give it up for the greatest, the bestest, the baddest, the King of Kokaua Town: Stitch! [takes a picture of a sunglasses-clad Stitch]

Pleakley

Finally! I was getting worried!

Lilo

You should never worry. Not when I have Stitch with me to kick butt!

Pleakley

Lilo! Such language was outlawed by the Balorian Universal Talking Treaty and your big sister, who had to work late. Now, will you assist me setting out the Thanksgiving dinner?

Lilo

Thanksgiving? Again?

Pleakley

It is once a month, right?

Lilo

Is there pumpkin pie?

Pleakley

Of course!

Lilo

Yep. Once a month. Help set the table, Stitch?

Lilo

Okay. You did earn your keep pretty good today.

Jumba

Allow me to be introducing Experiment 627!

EVIL!!!

Jumba

Has all strengths of 626, none of weaknesses. Does not sink in water, available in tasteful Earth-tone colors, and absolutely, positively, cannot be turned to good.

Evil, evil, evil!

Pleakley

Why would you make such an awful, snarling, clawing, growling little monster who can only say...

Evil!

Jumba

Ah, 626 needed a reality check. Besides, have plans lying around. You know, evil genius, use it or lose it.

Pleakley

This is completely against galactic regulations, and all good said, I'm going to--

Jumba

[grabs Pleakley] I have other old plans. Like maybe for experiment with giant finger for poking someone's giant eye!

Pleakley

Well, maybe the others don't need to know just yet. As long as it doesn't do anything...

Evil!

Lilo

It was incredible! Like nothing we've seen! It was even tougher than Stitch!

Stitch

Aketaba!

Jumba

So, 626 thinks severe pounding was one-time-only fluke, eh? [chuckles]

Lilo

Well, I don't. And which over experiment it is, we got to figure out how beat it.

Pleakley

I see you're searching Jumba's database of old experiments. I wonder if he has a file of more recent experiments, made as recently as, say, yesterday!

Jumba

You mean like experiment made to poke people in eyeball?!

Stitch

Huh?

Jumba

If creature you are looking for is as amazing as you say should be studied for science. [Pleakley points to Jumba while holding a screwdriver] Preserved in museum and... [notices Pleakley] Is one-eyed bigmouth trying to tell you something?

Lilo

Something about you having a screw loose.

Jumba

[grabs Pleakley] Ah, my silly friend! He is one with screw loose if he thinks I will let him tell you that I built 627! [stops as he realized what he just said; Lilo and Stitch gasp] Oh, I am very busted now!

Lilo

627?! You... made... A 627?!?

Pleakley

Ha! Who's afraid of the finger now, big boy?! WHO'S AFRAID NOW?!

Jumba

I-I-I confess! I confess. But now you see scientific achievement! You know that 627 is even better than 626.

Lilo

I'm proud of you, Stitch, for being self-cool and humble.

Stitch

Oh.

Pleakley

And I hope Jumba has learned his lesson about making those silly evil genius experiments. We oughta to make him do the dishes!

Lilo

Yeah! Hey, where is Jumba?

Jumba

So much for Experiment 627. Perhaps I'll have better luck next time.

Jumba

[repairing the house] Hey, what is wrong? Why the long branches?

Pleakley

I'm doing my best to represent a coniferous evergreen indicative of the holiday season, but no one seems to care!

Jumba

Heh. Maybe you need festive parcels.

Pleakley

What?

Jumba

Presents for to have underneath you.

Pleakley

Of course! Presents under the Christmas tree! I've been going about this backwards! Christmas isn't about the tree, it's about the presents under it!

Jumba

626 and little girl are stalking Gantu. They will bring presents.

Pleakley

No, no, no! I have to get my own! Otherwise, it doesn't really count! Jumba, it's time we took a little trip, to the mall!

Lilo

AAAAAH!!!! HE'S COMING! THIS IS A CATASTROPHE! HE'S ON HIS WAY RIGHT NOW!!

Pleakley

Hold it! HOLD EVERYTHING!! Now explain to me slowly and clearly exactly what happened.

Lilo

Okay. Keoni Jameson was holding a bouquet of flowers, when he asked Tino directions to our house. When Tino asked why he wanted directions, he said he had to ask a real cutie something. It's so obvious what he has in mind.

Pleakley

Now explain to me slowly and clearly exactly what happened.

Lilo

Keoni is going to ask me to the Lono-I-Ke-Aweawe festival! [pause] The annual Valentine's Day festival!

Pleakley

And this is a catastrophe how?

Lilo

Only because I'm so not ready! Stitch, you stall him. Act like I'm too pretty to come to the door. And Pleakley, stay out of the way.

Pleakley

Oh, you won't even know I'm here! All of Galactic Federation observers, such as myself, are masters of the art of seamlessly blending in.

Lilo

That's him!

Pleakley

WAIT!! I'm not seamlessly blended in yet! I'm un-seamlessly un-blended!

Lilo

It's a world gone mad!

Pleakley

Lilo, it's called camouflage. He's supposed to think I'm an attractive Earth woman.

Jumba

[chuckles] Someone found Pleakley attractive?

Lilo

Not someone! KEONI!!! Poor guy must have ear bugs eating his brain.

Jumba

Hmm, I fear it could be possibly something far in the way worse. Here, look your eyeballs on this. Is Experiment 323. It must have been activated, and is loose on island. One peck from its beak causes victim to fall head over feet in love with the very next person they see! [laughs maniacally but then falls off his chair] Lovesickness is very destructive. Can bring entire societies crashing to standstill.

Lilo

Oh! So, Keoni just got pecked by your Hunkahunka Bird of Love experiment.

Jumba

He is only thing could explain sensible tweenage boy having crush on one-eyed noodle like Pleakley.

Pleakley

Oh, and I suppose he couldn't have just fallen for my brilliant Earth female disguise.

Lilo

I don't think so.

Jumba

Impossible!

Stitch

Naga.

Pleakley

Hi, boys. Could one of you help with some sunblock? [the surfers stare at him] That is a completely believable request from a beautiful Earth woman, right?

Um... I guess so.

Pleakley

Good. Let me get out my lotion. [as he looks in his bag, his wig falls off]

No! I mean, on second thought, we gotta go catch some choice waves. Now! Seeya! [he and the other surfer dash away]

Pleakley

Wait! Come back here! I'm beautiful! [sighs]

Pleakley

So it was all an experiment's fault. I guess my attractive Earth woman's camouflage was a miserable failure after all.

Keoni

Miss Pleakley? You look really nice tonight.

Lilo

Uh-oh. Keoni must not have gotten wet.

Pleakley

Time to get over it, kiddo. [sprays water into Keoni's face]

Keoni

Wow. You're beautiful and quirky.

Pleakley

I am? I am, aren't I?! Woo-hoo! My camouflage is beautiful after all!

Lilo

Wow, Keoni had a real crush on Pleakley all along.

Stitch

Ooh! Naga botifa!