[Lilo and Stitch return home after losing Amnesio to Gantu]
We lost our memories, we lost an experiment to Gantu, and no one remembered my birthday.
Oh... [gets an idea] Etaba! [climbs a palm tree and gnaws it into a giant tiki totem pole] Happy Birthday!
Ah, you didn't have to make me a present. I remember my ohana. That's the greatest gift of all. Even if they forget my birthday.
[Lilo and Stitch enter the house and lights go on]
NDNani, David, Jumba, Pleakley, and Cobra Bubbles
SURPRISE!
COCONUT CAKE! [grabs Lilo's cake and eats in 5 seconds flat, but leaves one slice for Lilo]
I thought you all forgot.
NaniLilo, how could I ever forget your birthday? Remember what ohana means?
SJStitch, Jumba, Pleakley, David, and Cobra Bubbles
Or forgotten.
Oh, yeah! I forgot that part.
[Lilo looks at Jumba's computer to identify the new experiment she and Stitch just caught]
No. No. Cool, but no. I got it! It's...
Yeah. I knew which experiment it was all along.
[032 beeps loudly and his forehead lights up]
[chuckles] 032 says you are telling fib.
Is lie detector experiment. The more you lie, the more he beeps. Forces people to tell truth, resulting in complete chaos. Is genius, no? [chuckles]
How can the truth cause chaos?
[picks up a t-shirt] Ah, society is like cloth, and lies are the thread which are holding it together. [pulls a thread on the t-shirt, causing it to fall apart] Pull thread, civilization unravels. [chuckles] Humans cannot survive telling truth all the time.
I'm gonna name you Fibber. Until we find a new home for you, you can stay with me in my house.
Nani
[off-screen] Lilo! Did you clean up your room?
[Fibber beeps loudly, exposing her that she's lying]
Stitch's bed. [Stitch stops laughing] That's where you'll stay. He's the one that caught you anyway. [Stitch growls in frustration] And keep him out of the way. We don't want the t-shirt of civilization to come apart.
[Lilo asks Nani if she could pose as Pleakley's fiancé]
Nani
Are you lolo?!
But otherwise, I'll lose one of my alien babysitters.
Nani
You'll still have your Uncle Jumba! I'm not gonna be Pleakley's fiancé!
Okay, I understand. Besides, Jumba is perfectly qualified to be my babysitter. Jumba! Can I play with the chainsaw?
Of course! But try not to lose finger! Is messy!
Nani
Alright! Alright, I'll do it.
Thanks, Nani. I'll never be bad again.
[Fibber beeps loudly]
[Nani is serving dinner]
Nani
[pulls out a burnt casserole out of the oven] Well... Looks like it's ready. Volcano Surprise! [places the casserole on the table and sits down; Pleakley puts his hand over her shoulder]
PSPleakley's Mom
Oh, it's so good to see my son finally getting married.
So, Wendy tells us you're...
[Pleakley spits out his mild in shock]
NLNani and Lilo
"Wendy?!"
My brother, your fiancé, the one-eyed wonder sitting next to you.
Nani
His name is Wendy?
BBertley
You're marrying him and you don't even know his name?
Nani
Oh, well... I always just call him Honeykins. [hugs Pleakley]
[Fibber beeps loudly; Stitch grabs Fibber and tosses him into the clothes hamper and shoves laundry into it to stifle the beeping]
PSPleakley's Mom
Oh, he was always embarrassed by his name. I don't understand why. It means "brave warrior" in Plarganar.
BBertley
Oh, how I wanted that name.
Maybe he was embarrassed by it because he couldn't live up to it. I mean, look at his career.
Excuse me, but being an Earth expert is highly respectable.
I'm the CEO of a medium-sized galaxy. I have a bathroom in my office. You share a bunkbed with an evil scientist. Do the math, brother.
Okay, okay! Pick on Wendy time is over!
PSPleakley's Mom
Let's talk about the wedding. Now, how many guests are you having?
Guests? Oh, let's see. About..
None. They're getting married at... City Hall.
[Fibber beeps again; Stitch traps Fibber in the dryer]
PSPleakley's Mom
That's crazy talk! No son of mine is swearing his intergalactically binding vows without a decent wedding!
Nani
[glaring at Lilo] Eternal binding vows?!
[Pleakley's mom has Nani in a rather tight wedding dress]
PSPleakley's Mom
Oh, if only Grandma Pleakley could see you in her wedding dress.
Nani
Um, you know, I don't think we'll be able to this whole wedding thing. I mean, we don't even have anyone to marry us.
PSPleakley's Mom
There, there. Not to worry. I found you a minister. He was ordained at the Happy Slots Chapel in a place called "Lass Vegass". I think the veil hides a multitude of flaws, dear.
[Nani, furious, waddles outside to find Lilo making the floral arrangements]
Nani
LIIIIILLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Ugh! Ow! [hops towards Lilo] Lilo, this has gone way too far! I'm not going to marry Pleakley!
But it's just pretend! Like when I married the rat that lives in the garage.
Nani
[takes off the veil] His mother ordered a real minister!
Nani
Watch me. [hops away]
Little girl, did you want to play with this? [a chainsaw is heard]
[Stitch has Gantu tied up and is swinging him around on a palm tree]
You won't stop me, trog! I will get that lie-detect-- [Stich lets go, sending him flying] ORRRRRRRRR!!!
PSPleakley's Mom
A lie-detector? You mean this whole thing has been a great big lie? The fiancé, the wedding, everything?
Not everything exactly... [Fibber beeps loudly] Yes.
We travelled 2 million miles for nothing?! I lost 2 days of my important work for this!
[Fibber beeps loudly]
PSPleakley's Mom
You are not fit to wear the name Wendy!
[Fibber beeps again]
[Fibber beeps a third time; Pleakley sobs]
Hey, Fibber's been beeping. All that mean stuff your family just yelled at you must not be how they really feel.
Why else would Fibber have been beeping?
So... Bertley doesn't hate me.
BBertley
[ashamed] No. I don't hate you. I never did! I was just... jealous! I mean, look at you! You're tall, you're handsome, you're a babe magnet.
[looks at Fibber] He didn't beep. It must be true. I'm a babe magnet!
And you're creative, too. I've felt inferior to you my whole life.
But you're the CEO of a galaxy!
I was only trying to be better than you, and what did it get me? A high-powered career, a custom shoe closet, and bone-searing loneliness!
Your shoes have their own closet?
PSPleakley's Mom
[cries] It's all my fault! I pushed you all too hard! I just wanted my children to be happy!
PSPleakley's Mom
Oh, don't be ridiculous! How can you be happy?! You're not even married!
I don't wanna be married, Mother. I'm happy just as I am.
BBertley
Then... can I marry Nani?
You know, I'm even happier now that I know that you all really love me. You do, right?
PSPleakley's Mom and Bertley
Well...
Well, you're not perfect.
Nani
Perfect? Try living with a sister who pours grape jelly in your socks.
Or a sister who hogs the bathroom for hours.
Nani
[hugs Lilo] But no matter how much we annoy each other, we're still ohana.
And we love our ohana, just the way we are. [Stitch playfully jumps on the two sisters] See? The t-shirt of human civilization is made of love, not lies.
MMinister
I hate to interrupt the love fest, but who's dropping the cha-ching? [holds out the bill for his services]
[Lilo goes to the rental hut to ask Nani to help her grow an orchid]
Nani
I'm sorry, Lilo, but I don't have time to help you with the fair. I'm working.
But I want to enter something.
DDiver
Uh, miss? Do you have another mask? This one doesn't fit quite right.
Nani
Oh, yes, sir. [gives the diver another mask] Here you go. [to Lilo] If you'd told me weeks ago...
BUT I ONLY JUST FOUND OUT TODAY!!
Nani
Lilo! I have a customer.
DDiver
Uh, miss? This mask doesn't fit right either.
Nani
Uh, okay. [gives the diver another mask] Here. Try this one.
[as the two sisters talk, Stitch, still practicing to be a cowboy, wheres flippers as boots and twirls two snorkels as if they were guns]
But I gotta enter something! Mertle's entering orchids, Pleakley's entering a huge evil pineapple, Stitch is going to be a cowboy at the rodeo.
Nani
[to Stitch] Cowboys where boots, not flippers. [to Lilo] Look, it takes a long time to grow an orchid. Maybe you could enter next year.
DDiver
Oh, uh, miss? I'm sorry, but this one...
THE MASK DOESN'T FIT BECAUSE YOUR HEAD IS SHAPED WEIRD!!!! [storms out the hut]
Nani
[chuckles nervously] Kids.
[Nani watches the news]
RReporter
We're here at the Kokaua Town Fair, where apparently, a giant orchid has burst out of its potted plant, causing pandemonium.
Nani
[shocked and angry] JUMBA!!
What?! What is emergency?!
Nani
What do you know about that?! [points to the TV]
RReporter
I've never seen anything like this! It's as if alien plants have taken over the fair! James, are you getting this?! Oh, no! [screams]
Is 509... but looks much heavier on television. Little girl has been breaking big rules!
[Stitch manages to pull Sprout from the ground and puts him in the water tower, where he's now in his one true place]
I don't know if it's his one true place, but that's the only place I think Sprout could go.
OJOrchid Judge 1
Would you look at that?!
OJOrchid Judge 2
Wasn't that one of the entries in the orchid category.
OJOrchid Judge 3
Why, yes! Yes, it was! I think we've found our blue ribbon! [hands the blue ribbon to Lilo] Here you go, dear.
ZMZack Makeli
Y'know, if hadn't been for that overgrown dandelion, you'd have beat in the rodeo.
ZMZack Makeli
No, no, sir. You would've. I gotta admit it, 'cause a real cowboy either wins fair and square, or he loses fair and square, partner. [hands Stitch the rodeo belt]
[remembers the fact that she cheated and gives the ribbon to Mertle] Here.
No. You won it fair and square, and I didn't. My Pully Cove is yours for a whole week.
Hey! We can go to my Pully Cove without the weirdo for a whole week! [she and the girls cheer and leave]
A real cowboy knows how to lose, fair and square.
Nani
Lilo! Oh, Lilo, are you okay?
Nani
What do you think?
I guess a month would be fair.
Nani
How about a week?
[shocked and upset that his pineapple was destroyed by Sprout] My beautiful Pinormous! Innocence! Lost!
Nani
If we start planting for next year, I bet we could grow orchids that would kick Mertle's orcids' butt!
Wow! I didn't even know orchids have butts.
[Stitch gets an idea to get Digger and Richter to go on the asteroid and destroy it, saving Earth]
So crazy that it might actually work, right?
Nani
Lilo, what's going on here?
I told you. There's an asteroid heading towards Earth. We were going to evacuate everyone, but I think we'll go on a secret mission to destroy the asteroid instead.
Nani
Lilo, there hasn't been anything on the news about this. Anyone who'd believe you would have to be completely lolo!
Yo, dudes! Hey, sorry I'm late. Just stopped for a pepperoni slice. [walks into Jumba's ship]
See? It's true! Ask Cobra Bubbles. He knows!
Nani
Okay! I'll call him. Nobody makes one single move until I get back! [leaves]
[Lilo, Stitch, and Jumba run into the ship]
Okay, so we go back one more time, and...
[points to the time machine] Time machine!
[The time machine melts]
Okay, so we melted the time machine, our house is gone, and Gantu took the experiment. But at least Nani kept her job.
Nani
[offscreen] Lilo! I just lost my job. [realizes the house has melted] What happened to the house?!
[Gantu arrives at the Rental Hut, disguised as a tourist]
Hello. My name is Mr. John Bob Jonesmith. I'm a normal Earth tourist, and I would like to rent a boat.
Nani
You're not fooling anyone, Gantu.
6625
Told ya, flounder face. Blubber's still blubber, no matter how you dress it up. Ice cream sandwich?
Quiet, you! [to Nani] I require the use of a watercraft now!
Nani
[smug] Fine. You wanna rent stuff? I'll rent you stuff!
[scene cuts to Gantu overly dressed in aquatic gear]
6625
Whoa! Captain Clam, what happened? Did the bait shop explode?
She said I needed all this. Now, let's go! We've got an experiment to catch! [trips on his small flippers and crushes his boat] I think I crushed my dinghy.
[Lilo, Stitch and Pleakley are having a poi balloon fight in the house; Pleakley throws a balloon close to Nani as she arrives]
Nani
Who threw that?!
[Lilo and Stitch point to Pleakley]
I was just gardening! They lured me into their evil poi balloon battle!
Nani
Look at this kitchen! Mr. Jameson's gonna think I'm a total slob!
Mr. Jameson? As in father of Keoni Jameson?
Nani
As in the son of my potential new boss! They're both coming to brunch tomorrow!
Keoni's coming here?! You gotta clean up this mess, Nani. [Nani glares at her angrily] Well, Stitch and I are going to the movies. Gotta hurry to catch that first show!
[Pleakley is forcing Lilo, Stitch, and Jumba to learn better etiquette for the Jamesons]
[he blow the whistle] Roll-call, everybody dressed?
Cannot breathing into tight disco pants, oh! Must drop anything.
Ta-da. [he walks downstairs but he step his tie and he trips, rolling on downstairs to Lilo] Ta-da.
Hmmm... Actually, I was more comfortable with a dog disguise.
Nani
Pleakley, I got more eggs for the... AUGH! Pleakley! They're gonna be here in less than an hour! You're supposed to be cooking!
Don't worry your little head, Nani. The traditional yule log is roasting as we speak.
Nani
Yule log? But it's summer!
Well, Helen the hostess featured one on her show just yesterday. I think she knows what she's doing.
Nani
That was a rerun! Yule logs are for December, and they're not food! [doorbell rings] Whoever it is, tell them to...
Aloha. We thought we'd arrive early to help, that's what Aloha hospitality is all about.
Nani
[chuckles] Right. Come on in.
You know, Helen the hostess says, it's rude to arrive before...[Nani elbows him]
Nani
Um...Mr. Jameson, this is my Aunt Pleakley, my Uncle Jumba, my sister Lilo and our...dog. Who dresses up sometimes.
So nice for to be making your acquaintance seeing, Mr. Emerson.
It's Jameson, dear. [chuckles] He's not good with names. Sometimes forgets mine. [chuckles]
Guess what I found out? Jumba, Pleakley, and Stitch, they're all aliens! But, hey! Who am I'm a judge? I'm an alien, too!
[Nani gasped]
Hey, you're Keoni! Lilo keeps a bunch of pictures of you in her diary. [as Stitch drags him and walks off] Boy, does she have a crush on you.
[Lilo and Stitch find Experiment 158]
He sure is a cute little fella.
But not as cute as you, Stitch. Now, we just have to figure out what he can do.
Nani
[dashes in] Has anyone seen my keys?! I am so late! My boss is gonna fire me so hard. [opens Stitch's mouth] Did you eat them?!
[158 dashes into the kitchen and sniffs around a bit, and then honks and points at the fridge]
Nani
Oh, I don't have time for this! Lilo! Your experiment's hungry!
[opens the fridge and grabs Nani's keys] Egata! Haka!
Nani
My keys! [realizes] What were they doing in the fridge?
Wow! He must be able to find things. I'm gonna name you Finder. I bet Finder's even better and finding stuff than you, Stitch.
[Stitch growls angrily and then dashes into the living room and rips up the couch, pulling out some items and showing them to Lilo]
Paper clip, nail file, 14 cents, and a... [pulls out a piece of paper] Jury duty summons.
Nani
[snatches the paper] That's mine.
Lilo & Stitch: The Series · 382 quotes
