Pixley quotes from Lilo & Stitch: The Series

Nani

[pulls out a burnt casserole out of the oven] Well... Looks like it's ready. Volcano Surprise! [places the casserole on the table and sits down; Pleakley puts his hand over her shoulder]

Oh, it's so good to see my son finally getting married.

Pixley

So, Wendy tells us you're...

"Wendy?!"

Pixley

My brother, your fiancé, the one-eyed wonder sitting next to you.

Nani

His name is Wendy?

You're marrying him and you don't even know his name?

Nani

Oh, well... I always just call him Honeykins. [hugs Pleakley]

Oh, he was always embarrassed by his name. I don't understand why. It means "brave warrior" in Plarganar.

Oh, how I wanted that name.

Pixley

Maybe he was embarrassed by it because he couldn't live up to it. I mean, look at his career.

Pleakley

Excuse me, but being an Earth expert is highly respectable.

Pixley

I'm the CEO of a medium-sized galaxy. I have a bathroom in my office. You share a bunkbed with an evil scientist. Do the math, brother.

Pleakley

Okay, okay! Pick on Wendy time is over!

Let's talk about the wedding. Now, how many guests are you having?

Pleakley

Guests? Oh, let's see. About..

Lilo

None. They're getting married at... City Hall.

That's crazy talk! No son of mine is swearing his intergalactically binding vows without a decent wedding!

Nani

[glaring at Lilo] Eternal binding vows?!

Pixley

Hello. Wendy's hovel.

David

Aloha. Who is this?

Pixley

This is Pixley Pleakley, Ph.D. and CEO of the Glorknot Galaxy. Who's this?

David

This is David, surfer and Nani's boyfriend.

Pixley

Boyfriend? Apparently, Nani didn't tell you she's engaged.

David

She's what?!

Pixley

Engaged, as "engaged to be married." Are all you Earth people this dense? [hangs up]

David

Nani's getting... married?!

Gantu

You won't stop me, trog! I will get that lie-detect-- [Stich lets go, sending him flying] ORRRRRRRRR!!!

Pixley

A lie-detector?

A lie-detector? You mean this whole thing has been a great big lie? The fiancé, the wedding, everything?

Pleakley

Not everything exactly... [Fibber beeps loudly] Yes.

Pixley

We travelled 2 million miles for nothing?! I lost 2 days of my important work for this!

You are not fit to wear the name Wendy!

I hate you!

Lilo

Hey, Fibber's been beeping. All that mean stuff your family just yelled at you must not be how they really feel.

Pleakley

It wasn't?

Lilo

Why else would Fibber have been beeping?

Pleakley

So... Bertley doesn't hate me.

[ashamed] No. I don't hate you. I never did! I was just... jealous! I mean, look at you! You're tall, you're handsome, you're a babe magnet.

Pleakley

[looks at Fibber] He didn't beep. It must be true. I'm a babe magnet!

Pixley

And you're creative, too. I've felt inferior to you my whole life.

Pleakley

But you're the CEO of a galaxy!

Pixley

I was only trying to be better than you, and what did it get me? A high-powered career, a custom shoe closet, and bone-searing loneliness!

David

Your shoes have their own closet?

[cries] It's all my fault! I pushed you all too hard! I just wanted my children to be happy!

Pleakley

But Mom, I am happy.

Oh, don't be ridiculous! How can you be happy?! You're not even married!

Pleakley

I don't wanna be married, Mother. I'm happy just as I am.

Then... can I marry Nani?

No!

Oh.

Pleakley

You know, I'm even happier now that I know that you all really love me. You do, right?

Well...

Pixley

Well, you're not perfect.

Nani

Perfect? Try living with a sister who pours grape jelly in your socks.

Lilo

Or a sister who hogs the bathroom for hours.

Nani

[hugs Lilo] But no matter how much we annoy each other, we're still ohana.

Lilo

And we love our ohana, just the way we are. [Stitch playfully jumps on the two sisters] See? The t-shirt of human civilization is made of love, not lies.

I hate to interrupt the love fest, but who's dropping the cha-ching? [holds out the bill for his services]