David quotes from Lilo & Stitch: The Series

David

Hey, Lilo, is your sister home?

Lilo

Yeah, but I don't think she's feeling well. She said something about having a big zit.

Nani

LILO!! [dashes to the front door] No! I'm fine.

Lilo

Well, what were you popping when... [Nani covers her mouth until she licks her]

Nani

Ugh! [chuckles nervously] What a darling.

David

Don't worry. I know how to cheer a sad Lilo.

Nani

But, David, the pool at Birds of Paradise is for hotels guests only! There are, like, ten signs!

David

Relax, Nani. I was here yesterday, and I figured out their system: All the hotel guests have special blue towels, and so do we.

David

See? Instant vacation!

Lilo

Come on, Stitch! Photo safari! [they both leave to take pictures of the tourists]

Nani

Are you sure this is okay?

David

Relax. Lilo and I sneak in here all the time.

Nani

You what?!

David

Just chill out and enjoy your... [Mr. Jameson appears] Uh, honeymoon! Sweetheart! [hugs Nani]

Mr. Jameson

Hello, sir, ma'am. Are you guests here?

David

Uh, yeah!

Mr. Jameson

And what's your room number?

Nani

257!

David

319!

David

257!

Nani

319! Uh, 257!

Mr. Jameson

Mmm-hmm. Well, we don't have a Room 319,257! And besides, today is red towel day, not blue!

David

[chuckles nervously as Nani glares at him] Busted.

Nani

Lilo? Anybody? [the phone rings; she picks it up] Lilo?

David

Nani? It's David. You still coming by to help set up the luau?

Nani

[sighs] Lilo went to Ni'ihau with the aliens. She was supposed to be home by now, but, of course, she isn't, so....

David

Rescue mission?

Nani

Bingo.

Pleakley

[put Coco into the water] You did it, Coco. You finally escaped the Forbidden Island, though not its evil curse. Not its evil curse.

David

Ni'ihau is not forbidden because of a curse. It's forbidden because you need an invitation to visit.

Pleakley

NO CURSE?! Of course, I knew it all the time.

Lilo

We lost our memories, we lost an experiment to Gantu, and no one remembered my birthday.

Stitch

Oh... [gets an idea] Etaba! [climbs a palm tree and gnaws it into a giant tiki totem pole] Happy Birthday!

Lilo

Ah, you didn't have to make me a present. I remember my ohana. That's the greatest gift of all. Even if they forget my birthday.

SURPRISE!

Stitch

COCONUT CAKE! [grabs Lilo's cake and eats in 5 seconds flat, but leaves one slice for Lilo]

Lilo

I thought you all forgot.

Nani

Lilo, how could I ever forget your birthday? Remember what ohana means?

Lilo

Nobody gets left behind.

Or forgotten.

Lilo

Oh, yeah! I forgot that part.

Pixley

Hello. Wendy's hovel.

David

Aloha. Who is this?

Pixley

This is Pixley Pleakley, Ph.D. and CEO of the Glorknot Galaxy. Who's this?

David

This is David, surfer and Nani's boyfriend.

Pixley

Boyfriend? Apparently, Nani didn't tell you she's engaged.

David

She's what?!

Pixley

Engaged, as "engaged to be married." Are all you Earth people this dense? [hangs up]

David

Nani's getting... married?!

Gantu

You won't stop me, trog! I will get that lie-detect-- [Stich lets go, sending him flying] ORRRRRRRRR!!!

Pixley

A lie-detector?

A lie-detector? You mean this whole thing has been a great big lie? The fiancé, the wedding, everything?

Pleakley

Not everything exactly... [Fibber beeps loudly] Yes.

Pixley

We travelled 2 million miles for nothing?! I lost 2 days of my important work for this!

You are not fit to wear the name Wendy!

I hate you!

Lilo

Hey, Fibber's been beeping. All that mean stuff your family just yelled at you must not be how they really feel.

Pleakley

It wasn't?

Lilo

Why else would Fibber have been beeping?

Pleakley

So... Bertley doesn't hate me.

[ashamed] No. I don't hate you. I never did! I was just... jealous! I mean, look at you! You're tall, you're handsome, you're a babe magnet.

Pleakley

[looks at Fibber] He didn't beep. It must be true. I'm a babe magnet!

Pixley

And you're creative, too. I've felt inferior to you my whole life.

Pleakley

But you're the CEO of a galaxy!

Pixley

I was only trying to be better than you, and what did it get me? A high-powered career, a custom shoe closet, and bone-searing loneliness!

David

Your shoes have their own closet?

[cries] It's all my fault! I pushed you all too hard! I just wanted my children to be happy!

Pleakley

But Mom, I am happy.

Oh, don't be ridiculous! How can you be happy?! You're not even married!

Pleakley

I don't wanna be married, Mother. I'm happy just as I am.

Then... can I marry Nani?

No!

Oh.

Pleakley

You know, I'm even happier now that I know that you all really love me. You do, right?

Well...

Pixley

Well, you're not perfect.

Nani

Perfect? Try living with a sister who pours grape jelly in your socks.

Lilo

Or a sister who hogs the bathroom for hours.

Nani

[hugs Lilo] But no matter how much we annoy each other, we're still ohana.

Lilo

And we love our ohana, just the way we are. [Stitch playfully jumps on the two sisters] See? The t-shirt of human civilization is made of love, not lies.

I hate to interrupt the love fest, but who's dropping the cha-ching? [holds out the bill for his services]