Pleakley quotes from Lilo & Stitch: The Series

Pleakley

Trigger to fire. Backup for safety. [a flash of light startles him] WHOOOAAAAH!!! [blindly sucks up a couple's clothes]

Can we please have our clothes back?

Mary

We're on our honeymoon.

Pleakley

Oh. Congratulations! [shoots the clothes back to the couple]

Lilo

They seem a little restless.

You said there'd be peanuts!

Lilo

They need peanuts, and sodas, and swizzle sticks.

Pleakley

Uh-uh! I'm not going anywhere near those little monsters! You go!

Lilo

But I'm too little to fit into the stewardess outfit.

Pleakley

Soda! Peanuts! [Kixx reaches his hand to grab a soda, but Pleakley slaps him] Don't be grabby! There's enough for everyone!

Lilo

We can't blow up this asteroid!

Jumba

Excusing me?! But is your idea!

Lilo

This is that crabby guy's home, and he loves it. Just like we love the Earth. We can't destroy it.

Jumba

Can't destroy Earth, can't destroy asteroid... Wait... HA! I am more genius! I am having a theory. If Jumba designed hyperdrive to move ship millions of miles to Kweltiquan, it can perhaps move asteroid off course with Earth.

Lilo

You mean, we can save Earth and the asteroid? [Jumba winks at her] Way to go, Jumba! You're hardly evil at all!

Pleakley

But... if we put the hyperdrive on the asteroid, we won't be able to cross the vast distances involved in interstellar travel. You and I might never be able to return to our home planets!

Jumba

We have home planet, with little girl, and bigger girl, on Earth.

Pleakley

Okay, you got me... you big jerk!

Lilo

I'm gonna change my identity and move out of town. What do you think of the name Tiffany? With an I.

Stitch

Eww!

Lilo

Or I could just go back in time and take a do-over.

Pleakley

Oh, no, young lady! No time time travel until you clean your room!

Lilo

Uh, I was kidding.

Pleakley

Uh, I was afraid you were gonna drag out that old time machine Jumba was working on.

Lilo

Jumba made a time machine?

Pleakley

[realizes his mistake] Did I say time machine? [chuckles nervously] No, I meant rhyme machine. Helps you best a funky rhyme! [raps] My name is Pleakley, and I'm all about style! From my dresses, to my curtains, to my bathroom tile!

Lilo

[whispers to Jumba] You can't tell them how bad they are. It might hurt their self-esteem.

Pleakley

Aside from the last trick which does need polishing, and the rest of the tricks that need to be completely overhauled, what do you think?

Jumba

Well, it's completely...

Lilo

Amazing! Absolutely, completely amazing!

Pleakley

Good! 'Cause we have our first gig at Mertle's half birthday tomorrow!

Jumba

"Half birthday"?

Lilo

She's so spoiled she gets two a year.

Pleakley

And we wouldn't want to fail there! In front of all your friends. [Lilo is shocked and embarrassed by the comment] Imagine how embarrassing that'd be!

Pleakley

Lookie here. I promised Mertle's Aunt Stacy the Stupendous Stitch would make a lighthouse disappear! And by golly, she's going to get the Stupendous Stitch MAKING A LIGHTHOUSE DISAPPEAR!

Lilo

You spooked him! Houdini, wait! Great. No Stitch, no Houdini, and national TV waiting! Could it get any worse?!

Jumba

And don't forget, not-so-friendly friend Mertle is waiting to ridicule you. [laughs]

Lilo

Right. Thanks for reminding me.

Pleakley

See anything? How're they doing?

Jumba

Little girl and 626 are in position, but the waves keep rocking the boat, making it difficult to get a clear view. Back and forth... Up and down... [Pleakley's face turns green at the thought of the boat rocking] Back and forth... Up and down...

Pleakley

I think I'm gonna heave-ho! [topples over]

Nani

Who threw that?!

Pleakley

I was just gardening! They lured me into their evil poi balloon battle!

Nani

Look at this kitchen! Mr. Jameson's gonna think I'm a total slob!

Lilo

Mr. Jameson? As in father of Keoni Jameson?

Nani

As in the son of my potential new boss! They're both coming to brunch tomorrow!

Lilo

Keoni's coming here?! You gotta clean up this mess, Nani. [Nani glares at her angrily] Well, Stitch and I are going to the movies. Gotta hurry to catch that first show!

Pleakley

[he blow the whistle] Roll-call, everybody dressed?

Jumba

Cannot breathing into tight disco pants, oh! Must drop anything.

Stitch

Ta-da. [he walks downstairs but he step his tie and he trips, rolling on downstairs to Lilo] Ta-da.

Pleakley

Hmmm... Actually, I was more comfortable with a dog disguise.

Stitch

Oh...

Nani

Pleakley, I got more eggs for the... AUGH! Pleakley! They're gonna be here in less than an hour! You're supposed to be cooking!

Pleakley

Don't worry your little head, Nani. The traditional yule log is roasting as we speak.

Nani

Yule log? But it's summer!

Pleakley

Well, Helen the hostess featured one on her show just yesterday. I think she knows what she's doing.

Nani

That was a rerun! Yule logs are for December, and they're not food! [doorbell rings] Whoever it is, tell them to...

Mr. Jameson

Aloha. We thought we'd arrive early to help, that's what Aloha hospitality is all about.

Nani

[chuckles] Right. Come on in.

Pleakley

You know, Helen the hostess says, it's rude to arrive before...[Nani elbows him]

Nani

Um...Mr. Jameson, this is my Aunt Pleakley, my Uncle Jumba, my sister Lilo and our...dog. Who dresses up sometimes.

Jumba

So nice for to be making your acquaintance seeing, Mr. Emerson.

Pleakley

It's Jameson, dear. [chuckles] He's not good with names. Sometimes forgets mine. [chuckles]

Lilo

Hey, Keoni.

Keoni

Sup, Lilo.

Nosy

Guess what I found out? Jumba, Pleakley, and Stitch, they're all aliens! But, hey! Who am I'm a judge? I'm an alien, too!

Mr. Jameson

I beg your pardon?

Nosy

Hey, you're Keoni! Lilo keeps a bunch of pictures of you in her diary. [as Stitch drags him and walks off] Boy, does she have a crush on you.

Lilo

Oh, no.

Pleakley

I can't believe it. The Grand Councilwoman of the Galactic Federation never calls us unless.. [grabs Jumba by his shirt] INTERGALACTIC ANNIHILATION IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER!!! WHAT DO WE DO?!?

Jumba

First step is to be gaining composure and LETTING GO OF ME!!

Jumba

Five Fifteen, your thermostat is adjusted. Hot wave should no longer overheat you.

Ih! [crawls away]

Jumba

[chuckles] Don't mention it!

Pleakley

Splodyhead! Beware, beware! Jumba, we're being invaded. Millions of little white aliens are landing outside as we speak!

Pleakley

Finally! The sun is back, and so are you! You must've caught the little snow monster.

Lilo

His name is Slushy.

Pleakley

Oh, thank the kings of Groovplok 5! No more of that freezing cold snow! It's awful! Just awful!

Jumba

Eh, actually it's not awful enough. Only makes everything cold and wet. No, not very evil at all.

Lilo

But it makes snow, and that's good. You can slide on it, throw it at each other, even make snow zombies out of it. So... wanna try it with me?

No!

Lilo

Well, fine! Go inside! I am gonna play in the snow! [lets Slushy out of his container] Alright, Slushy. Do your stuff! But only for my house!

Jumba

Hmm, here is experiment I have not been seeing in a long time.

Lilo

What does it do?

Jumba

Experiment 344 is duplicator. It can make multiple copies of anyone or anything. Designed to make infinite number of weapons. [Stitch looks at Dupe's antenna while having a lollipop] Careful of the antenna, 626. You might duplicate yourself.

Stitch

Oh, yeah! [uses Dupe's antenna to clone a lollipop for Lilo and then makes him clone an entire stack of cakes so he could chow down]

Lilo

Cool! All the lollipops you can eat! [tastes her lollipop] Mmm, good... but there's something different. Is this low-cal?

Jumba

Yes. Experiment 344 was failure. Duplicates were not as powerful as original.

Lilo

Better watch out, Stitch, or you'll lose your girlish figure.

Jumba

Eh, actually, no. Duplicates have less than original of everything, including fat and calories.

Pleakley

[barges in dressed as a park ranger] Hold everything! As official adult guardian of your slumber party tonight, I don't want that thing wreaking havoc! Nani put me in charge while she's gone, and I'm not letting her down! I got everything planned: pillow fight at 6:00, toenail painting at 7:00, aromatherapy facial's at 8 bells, gossiping about boys will be sprinkled about as spontaneous intervals.

Lilo

What about light as a feather, stiff as a board?

Pleakley

Hmm, inducing levitation. Shouldn't take longer than a half hour. I'll pencil ya in at 6:30.

Pleakley

What are you two doing?

Lilo

Stitch wants Jumba's help.

Pleakley

He's off-planet, doing his community service. He's a convicted evil genius, you know! But maybe I can help.

Lilo

See... Stitch is looking for evil genius help, not Pleakley help.

Pleakley

Hey! I can do more than cook and clean, you know! I was trained in Galactic Alliance Community College! I would make a perfectly acceptable substitute evil genius.

Lilo

Well... okay. Stitch thinks he needs to be bigger. I think he's wrong, but...

Pleakley

Hmm... A little conundrum of molecular resizefication, eh?

Lilo

Okay, we gotta get everyone back to normal size.

Pleakley

But we can't possibly shrink 297 now! We need an extension cord of impossible length! Oh, how will we stop that monstrosity?! How, I ask?!

Stitch

[holds out the size ray] Meega bigger!

Pleakley

Hmm.... fight bigger with bigger, eh? So, instead of one giant monster, we'll have two. [Stitch nods in agreement] It's so crazy, it just might work! [aims the ray at Stitch to make him bigger.]