Pleakley quotes from Lilo & Stitch: The Series

Pleakley

Aha! Lilo's clever plan worked! I win!

Jumba

No, no, no! It was 626's strength and agility that captured experiments. I am winning!

Lilo

Nope! We caught'em at the exact same time together. Right, Stitch?

Stitch

Ih, ih!

Jumba

Which means we tied! Yeah-- Oh! No, is not good.

Pleakley

Intergalactic wagering rules states in the events of a tie, both parties must pay the bet! [sobs] We both lose!

Jumba

I have diagnosis!

Lilo

What is it?

Jumba

He ate macadamia nut.

Pleakley

That's it?

Lilo

Is that bad?

Jumba

Normally, macadamia nut is delicious snack. But data indicates he also ate tennis shoe.

Lilo

A left one, but he spit it up!

Jumba

Not soon enough. Combination of metolayic acid found in macadamia nut oil and tennis shoe rubber created same chemical compound as Crezonyte.

Pleakley

Crezonyte?! Ugh! Ew! It's toxic stuff! It ruins your complexion! Ruined mine anyway!

Lilo

So... what did that stuff do to Stitch?

Jumba

Caused system to shut down. He is like computer creation. Wipe out all training memory. 626's superpowers go super-kaput!

Lilo

How will he defeat 601 if he can't remember how to fight?

Jumba

[sighs] We'll have to retrain from scratch.

Lilo

You did once. You can do it again, right?

Jumba

Wrong. Last time training gave slipped disk.

Lilo

So who's gonna retrain Stitch? Me?

Jumba

Excellent idea! [drops a stack of books near Lilo] Here are training manuals, must be trained in agility, hand-by coordination, and strength. Wishing you for good luck.

Lilo

Okay, things are not working out like we planned, but they could be worse.

Pleakley

Worse than being trapped under this rock and stranded on this accursed island?!

Without food and water?!

Jumba

Don't forget, 619 is waiting to blast us to pieces.

Gantu

And the sun is going down.

Lilo

Well... We could have the mumps.

Pleakley

[draws an eye on a coconut] One by one? Marking us each for a fiery demise, 'till one of use is left all alone. It really will be me! Right, Coco? Coco here was raised on the Forbidden Isle, and knows the secrets of its evil curse!

Jumba

Strange fruit has secret information? Let me see, gimme that.

Pleakley

Stay away from Coco! We have a plan! We're not staying here a second longer! Run, Coco! Run! [runs out into the ocean] Escape the Forbidden Island! [a giant wave washes him back ashore] Oh, the indignity! And the evil curse!

Pleakley

[put Coco into the water] You did it, Coco. You finally escaped the Forbidden Island, though not its evil curse. Not its evil curse.

David

Ni'ihau is not forbidden because of a curse. It's forbidden because you need an invitation to visit.

Pleakley

NO CURSE?! Of course, I knew it all the time.

Jumba

Uh-oh! Is Experiment 303.

Pleakley

Oh, Experiment 303. Well, now it all makes sense. [angrily turns to Jumba] You think I know all 626 of all your evil monsters by number?! What does it do for Earth's sake?!

Jumba

Is designed to wipe out memories.

Pleakley

You made a monster that gives people amnesia?!

Jumba

Guess. I can see it was success.

Go back a second. Did you say I'm Lilo?

Jumba

Of course.

Stitch

Neesa amina?

Jumba

You are 626, also called Stitch. You catch my experiments like Experiment 303, and find one true place where they belong.

[points to Gantu/Lenny] And he helps us?

Jumba

Uh, no. He is evil yet incompetent experiment hunter. He is hated by pretty much everyone.

Lilo

We lost our memories, we lost an experiment to Gantu, and no one remembered my birthday.

Stitch

Oh... [gets an idea] Etaba! [climbs a palm tree and gnaws it into a giant tiki totem pole] Happy Birthday!

Lilo

Ah, you didn't have to make me a present. I remember my ohana. That's the greatest gift of all. Even if they forget my birthday.

SURPRISE!

Stitch

COCONUT CAKE! [grabs Lilo's cake and eats in 5 seconds flat, but leaves one slice for Lilo]

Lilo

I thought you all forgot.

Nani

Lilo, how could I ever forget your birthday? Remember what ohana means?

Lilo

Nobody gets left behind.

Or forgotten.

Lilo

Oh, yeah! I forgot that part.

Pleakley

Let's see. Maracas, bowling ball, precious family heirloom, that's good, and here we go! [begins juggling with the maracas, the bowling ball, and a priceless lamp] Yes! Yes!

Stitch

Phew!

Lilo

Why are smashing your feet?

Pleakley

Haven't you heard? Look At This! is coming to Kauai! I intend to demonstrate the mastery of Earth-style juggling. [moves the bowling ball off his foot]

Lilo

Not you too! You sound just like Mertle. She thinks Look At This! is all that!

Pleakley

Well, Mertle sounds like a small Earth female with exquisite taste! [Stitch begins playing with his maraca] Unhand my maraca, you monster! Figure out your own audition!

Lilo

Don't worry. I'd feed myself to the sharks before I let Stitch go on that show.

Pleakley

Just the same! The juggling routine is mine!

Lilo

Pleakley, you're phone is ringing.

Jumba

Eh, it's his mother. Always calling, night and day, telling him to find wife.

Lilo

A wife? Like a lady to marry?

Pleakley

No! No! There will be no wife, no lady, and no marrying! My Earth studies are my life. I don't have time for a relationship.

Lilo

[picks up Pleakley's phone] Hello?

Pleakley

[whispers] Lilo, no! Hang up!

Hello? Pleakley? Is that you?

Pleakley

Mother?

Pleakley! Aw, you know how long I've been trying to reach you?

Pleakley

No, I don't! You see, I... lost my phone in the ocean.

So, tell me, son, have you found a nice girl to marry yet?

Pleakley

I'm working on it.

Well, you can stop looking, because I found one for you. [shows a picture of an ugly Plorganarian girl] Ta-da! [Pleakley gags] She is breathtaking, isn't she? Now, her parents are arranging a big, fancy wedding as we speak.

Pleakley

W-w-w-wedding?!

I knew you would be thrilled! Pack your things. A limo craft is on its way to bring you back home to meet your new bride!

Pleakley

Wait! I am not thrilled! [his mom hangs up] I'm the opposite of thrilled! I'm un-thrilled! I DON'T WANNA GET MARRIED!!

Pleakley

Yes, I'm engaged. Isn't that wonderful.

When did all this happen?

Pleakley

Well, just... a few hours ago. Yeah, a few hours ago. I've been... [Fibber beeps again] just so busy getting engaged that I forgot to tell you. [Fibber beeps twice; Stitch grabs Fibber and puts him in the ceiling lamp] Nice girl? Of course she's a nice girl. Cook? She's a... professional chef.

Lilo

[to Stitch] Keep him quiet!

Pleakley

Yes, I'm afraid you will have to call off that big, fancy wedding, 'cause I'm getting married on Sunday.

What's that crazy beeping?

Pleakley

Uh... it's the doorbell. [Fibber beeps again] Yes, it's the doorbell. Wedding planner's here. Gotta go. [hangs up]

Lilo

Well?

Pleakley

She bought it. She actually bought it. This lying thing is working out really well. [there's a knock at the door] Hmm. Who could that be? Oh, it's that limo craft Mother sent to pick me up. You know, before I told her I was engaged. [chuckles] Boy, did I pull the wool over Mom's eye. She is so... [opens the door to see his mom, his sister Pixley and brother Bertley at the door] HERE!!!

We hopped a wormhole as soon as we found out.

Pleakley

I... I...

What? Did you think your own family would miss your wedding? Come here. Give Mama a hug!

Pleakley

Uh...

Nani

[pulls out a burnt casserole out of the oven] Well... Looks like it's ready. Volcano Surprise! [places the casserole on the table and sits down; Pleakley puts his hand over her shoulder]

Oh, it's so good to see my son finally getting married.

Pixley

So, Wendy tells us you're...

"Wendy?!"

Pixley

My brother, your fiancé, the one-eyed wonder sitting next to you.

Nani

His name is Wendy?

You're marrying him and you don't even know his name?

Nani

Oh, well... I always just call him Honeykins. [hugs Pleakley]

Oh, he was always embarrassed by his name. I don't understand why. It means "brave warrior" in Plarganar.

Oh, how I wanted that name.

Pixley

Maybe he was embarrassed by it because he couldn't live up to it. I mean, look at his career.

Pleakley

Excuse me, but being an Earth expert is highly respectable.

Pixley

I'm the CEO of a medium-sized galaxy. I have a bathroom in my office. You share a bunkbed with an evil scientist. Do the math, brother.

Pleakley

Okay, okay! Pick on Wendy time is over!

Let's talk about the wedding. Now, how many guests are you having?

Pleakley

Guests? Oh, let's see. About..

Lilo

None. They're getting married at... City Hall.

That's crazy talk! No son of mine is swearing his intergalactically binding vows without a decent wedding!

Nani

[glaring at Lilo] Eternal binding vows?!

Gantu

You won't stop me, trog! I will get that lie-detect-- [Stich lets go, sending him flying] ORRRRRRRRR!!!

Pixley

A lie-detector?

A lie-detector? You mean this whole thing has been a great big lie? The fiancé, the wedding, everything?

Pleakley

Not everything exactly... [Fibber beeps loudly] Yes.

Pixley

We travelled 2 million miles for nothing?! I lost 2 days of my important work for this!

You are not fit to wear the name Wendy!

I hate you!

Lilo

Hey, Fibber's been beeping. All that mean stuff your family just yelled at you must not be how they really feel.

Pleakley

It wasn't?

Lilo

Why else would Fibber have been beeping?

Pleakley

So... Bertley doesn't hate me.

[ashamed] No. I don't hate you. I never did! I was just... jealous! I mean, look at you! You're tall, you're handsome, you're a babe magnet.

Pleakley

[looks at Fibber] He didn't beep. It must be true. I'm a babe magnet!

Pixley

And you're creative, too. I've felt inferior to you my whole life.

Pleakley

But you're the CEO of a galaxy!

Pixley

I was only trying to be better than you, and what did it get me? A high-powered career, a custom shoe closet, and bone-searing loneliness!

David

Your shoes have their own closet?

[cries] It's all my fault! I pushed you all too hard! I just wanted my children to be happy!

Pleakley

But Mom, I am happy.

Oh, don't be ridiculous! How can you be happy?! You're not even married!

Pleakley

I don't wanna be married, Mother. I'm happy just as I am.

Then... can I marry Nani?

No!

Oh.

Pleakley

You know, I'm even happier now that I know that you all really love me. You do, right?

Well...

Pixley

Well, you're not perfect.

Nani

Perfect? Try living with a sister who pours grape jelly in your socks.

Lilo

Or a sister who hogs the bathroom for hours.

Nani

[hugs Lilo] But no matter how much we annoy each other, we're still ohana.

Lilo

And we love our ohana, just the way we are. [Stitch playfully jumps on the two sisters] See? The t-shirt of human civilization is made of love, not lies.

I hate to interrupt the love fest, but who's dropping the cha-ching? [holds out the bill for his services]

Pleakley

I'm so excited! My first festival dedicated to primitive Earth history! Are you dressed yet?

Jumba

[dressed as King Henry VIII] Dressed, yes. Happy, no!

Pleakley

Cheer up. Henry VIII was a powerful ruler, even though he had a nasty habit of having his wives beheaded!

Jumba

I am liking this Henry person! [laughs]

Lilo

Pleakley, can you help me grow an orchid for the town fair?

Pleakley

Town fair? What town fair?

Lilo

Kokaua Town Fair. They have rides and food and competitions for stuff like flowers.

Pleakley

What about pineapples?

Lilo

There's a homegrown fruits and vegetables competition.

Pleakley

Homegrown fruits?! I could enter... my Pinormous! [gestures to his gigantic pineapple plant] Pinarmous will revolutionize Hawaii's pineapple industry. And then... IT WILL REVOLUTIONIZE THE WORLD!!!

Jumba

[chuckles] You are starting to sound like evil genius.

Pleakley

Maybe, but... I'm be an evil genius for good!

Jumba

Always it starts that way. Here is evil genius fertilizer you are requesting.

Lilo

What about my orchid?!

Pleakley

Sorry, Lilo. I can't waste my precious time on something as renowned as an orchid. My Pinormous needs me, and the world needs my Pinormous! [notices some bamboo shoots growing] AAH!! My personal Eden is being invaded by bamboo runners!

Lilo

Runners?

Pleakley

Underground roots spreading their grasping, choking evil from the mother plant. Couldn't you ever plant this to contain the roots so it won't keep spreading? So inconsiderate!

Lilo

I don't know if it's his one true place, but that's the only place I think Sprout could go.

Stitch

Oh, ih.

Would you look at that?!

Wasn't that one of the entries in the orchid category.

Why, yes! Yes, it was! I think we've found our blue ribbon! [hands the blue ribbon to Lilo] Here you go, dear.

Y'know, if hadn't been for that overgrown dandelion, you'd have beat in the rodeo.

Stitch

Oh!

No, no, sir. You would've. I gotta admit it, 'cause a real cowboy either wins fair and square, or he loses fair and square, partner. [hands Stitch the rodeo belt]

Stitch

Oh, chochamba.

Lilo

[remembers the fact that she cheated and gives the ribbon to Mertle] Here.

Mertle

Is this a trick?

Lilo

No. You won it fair and square, and I didn't. My Pully Cove is yours for a whole week.

Mertle

Really?!

Lilo

Yeah.

Mertle

Hey! We can go to my Pully Cove without the weirdo for a whole week! [she and the girls cheer and leave]

Lilo

A real cowboy knows how to lose, fair and square.

Nani

Lilo! Oh, Lilo, are you okay?

Lilo

I'm okay. Am I grounded?

Nani

What do you think?

Lilo

I guess a month would be fair.

Nani

How about a week?

Pleakley

[shocked and upset that his pineapple was destroyed by Sprout] My beautiful Pinormous! Innocence! Lost!

Nani

If we start planting for next year, I bet we could grow orchids that would kick Mertle's orcids' butt!

Lilo

Wow! I didn't even know orchids have butts.

Stitch

Oh! Yippee-Ki-Yay!