Blaine Anderson quotes from Glee

Santana

The truth about what?

None of your business, J Lo.

Santana

First of all, anything you do became my business when you decided to toss that slushie up in my grill.

I think I can take a couple of queers and a girl.

Santana

Ha. See here's whats gonna go down. Two choices: You stay here and I crack one of your nuts--right or left, that's your choice. Or you walk away and live to be a douchebag another day. Oh, and also, I have razor blades hidden in my hair. [gestures to her hair] Yeah, just all up in here.

[reluctantly walks away]

Blaine

We could have handled that.

Santana

It was more fun doing it together.

Kurt

Isn't it great that prom is so inclusive this year?

Blaine

Someone for everyone.

Kurt

[looks at Karofsky and Santana] Even if it's a lie.

Kurt

We all just looked at the top ten list for showcase and we all just went numb. And then Jesse just kept going on and on about how Rachel and Finn's kiss was what cost us nationals.

Blaine

While I do understand passion I do think that was unprofessional. Sorry keep going.

Kurt

And then we get back to the hotel, and Santana loses head.

Kurt

I mean, on the plane ride home it was completely silent, like no one said a word. We just sat there with our faces buried in our complimentary issues of SkyMall.

Blaine

Wait a second...I don't get it. You don't seem that sad at all.

Kurt

It was still amazing. I mean, I flew in a plane for the first time in my life, I had breakfast at Tiffany's, I sung on a Broadway stage.

Blaine

I love you.

Kurt

[silent for a few seconds] I love you too. You know when you stop to think about it, Kurt Hummel's had a pretty good year.

Blaine

[drunk] I just want to live here and-and make art and help people.

Kurt

You're helping people make fires with your breath!

Blaine

What is your problem with me anyway? Ever since I got here you've given me nothing but crap.

Finn

Honestly dude, I was kinda jealous. I felt threatened. Your talent kinda freaked me out, made me question whether or not I'm good enough.

Finn

We got this. [holds out his fist]

Blaine

Yeah we do. [pounds Finn's fist]

Finn

Ugh, I'm freaking out! I have no idea what to get Rachel for Christmas!

Artie

When in doubt, go with socks!

Mike

A wok is always good!

Rory

What about soil?

Blaine

I agree with Artie about the socks.

See? This is why I don't have a high maintenance girlfriend. Or any girlfriend, for that matter.

Kurt

[putting on lotion and eavesdropping]

Finn

Hey guys, listen up. My friend Rory Flanagan wants to say a few.

Rory

Thanks Finn Hudson. So guys, my mommy was gonna come visit for the holidays, but planes tickets are expensive, so it's my first Christmas without any family. I'd like to cheer myself up by dedicating this song to them, and to the King.

Kurt

Jesus?

Rory

[weird look]

Blaine

[to Kurt] No.

Kurt

Hello. Well, I guess we're all in the spirit of the season by now. Let me apologize for not introducing myself sooner. I'm Kurt Hummel, one of your hosts this evening. Thank you. And this is my, um…best friend and holiday roommate, Blaine Anderson.

Blaine

How do you do? Welcome to our bachelor chalet.

Kurt

We've also asked a few of our other special friends to drop by. But I hope they can make it over the mountains and through the woods in this dreary weather.

Blaine

Oh, come on, now, Kurt. You know if they get stuck in the snow, they can always hitch a ride on Santa's sleigh.

Kurt

Oh, you!

Blaine

Hey, it's true.

Kurt

Oh! Oh, I'm terribly sorry for keeping you standing outside, shivering on the porch. Please, come in. Please, come in. Watch your step. Come on now. Don't be shy. Please, come, come.

Blaine

Come right on in. Make yourself at home.

Blaine

Say, are you dressed like Luke Skywalker and Han Solo?

Finn

No. That's copyright infringement! Any resemblance to Star Wars characters is purely coincidental!

Sugar

Okay, everyone! It's time for my extra special guest! Back from the dead and cute and compact as ever.

Blaine

[standing by the door] Happy Valentine's Day, everybody.

Kurt

[looks up shocked]

Artie

I want to be there to see my kid's first steps.

Sugar

I want to be there to see Sex & The City Part 3.

Wow.

I'm sort of embarrassed to admit it, but I really do want to graduate high school.

Finn

I'm going to petition the Army to change my dad's dishonorable discharge status to an honorable one.

Quinn

I'm looking forward to graduating from Yale at the top of my class.

Santana

I'm looking forward to the day when my grandmother loves me again.

Brittany

I want Lord Tubbington to kick his ecstasy addiction.

Blaine

I'm looking forward to marriage equality in all fifty states.

MIke

I'm looking forward to the first time I dance at Carnegie Hall.

Tina

I just want a song.

Finn

All right, everyone, listen carefully. Puck's scheduled to arrive at the Schneider's pool at 2:00 p.m., which means he should be there at 3:30. Sam, you're the driver, so stay in the car.

Sam

Well, can I play with the radio?

Finn

Rory, you're on lookout here.

Rory

Who am I looking out for? I mean, besides Puck?

Finn

Blaine, Mike and myself will triangulate a very carefully planned attack on Puck here, here and here.

Blaine

Is that a bear I'm hiding behind?

Finn

No, no, it's a bush.

Blaine

Looks like a bear.

Finn

But it's not a bear. It's a bush.

Rory

Maybe a shrub.

Sam

What's the difference between a shrub and a bush?

Artie

What do I do?

Finn

Oh, that's the best part. You're going to be the bait. So, when Puck comes in the gate, you just roll your wheelchair into the pool, and all of a sudden, we...

Brittany

My name is Brittany S. Pierce, and I finally know how Jesus feels in his house way up at the North Pole because I am on top of the world. Senior year was awesome and now I get to relive every minute of it. I'm head Cheerio, vice-Rachel of the Glee club and now, I'm planning a Middle East style sham election that will install me as senior class president for life.

Blaine

Brittany, who are you talking to?

Brittany

I thought I was doing a voice over.