Puck quotes from Glee

[about the Cheerios] Those skirts are crunchy toast! Santana Lopez bent over in hers the other day, and I swear I could see her ovaries.

I'm human garbage. I should just lie here until the truck comes and let it crush me to death. What's the point of living when I suck so bad?

Get ready, black girl from Glee Club whose name I can't remember right now; the Puckster is about to make you his.

Since I shaved my mohawk, I started seeing things differently. Last week, I joined a black church. And I recently downloaded every song Sammy Davis Junior ever recorded on iTunes; he was a black Jew, you know. And my inspiration.

They called Paul Stanley 'The Starchild' because he was romantic or something but that doesn't really explain my whore lips.

While Jackie Daniels is a great name for like a power boat or something, it's not right for a baby girl.

[to Quinn] I know you're giving her up, but before you do I think you should name her Beth. If you'll let me, I'd really like to be there when she's born. I'd really like to meet her.

[In voiceover] Everyone knows this is going to come down to me. Revenge, fear, the merciless infliction of pain-these are my kingdoms. First time I gave a wedgie to a kid, I was four years old. Finn and I may still hate each other for some reason, but we both know that defending the honor of New Directions is going to be our dirty job.

(to Finn) We used to be best friends...before I got your girlfriend pregnant and then made out with your other girlfriend.

[on Lauren] Maybe it's because she's constantly insulting me like my mom.

Do dudes ever get erections when they wrestle with you?

Once on a dare, I swallowed a thumbtack. And I'm about 90% sure it's still there.

I like wooing you, Lauren. Next to dropping my afternoon deuce, it's my second favorite part of my day.

It's called "Big Ass...Heart".

So are you in? My ass-istant bad ass?