Artie Abrams quotes from Glee

Artie

I sound like someone put tap shoes on a horse and then shot it.

Artie

I so want to give you a standing ovation right now.

Artie

The kid's never late, he runs like an expensive Swiss watch reproduced cheaply in China.

Artie

When you're in a chair, it's hard to… ever feel like you've grown up. Everyone's always doing stuff for you. They get freaked out about saying the wrong thing. So, they coddle you. Sometimes, it's hard to ever picture a life of being totally self-sufficient. But directing you guys… the way you trusted me, the way you looked at me, and listened to me. It's the first time in my life that I've ever felt like a grown man. It's the greatest gift you could give a guy, so… so thank you guys. For the flowers and for everything.

Artie

I got like tingles where it's only 50/50 for tingling

Artie

Some say Judy was high on pills and booze, but I say she was high on excitement and baby Jesus.

Artie

It's about your song. It makes me want to kill myself.

Artie

They can take our Journey and our Dreamgirls, but pilfering my Michael? [shakes his head] Mmm mmm that's another level. Not ok.

Artie

It’s time to bring out your two favorite gays, Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson!

Artie Abrams

She slashed the tires on my wheelchair 17 times.

Artie Abrams

She's had it out for the glee club from the very beginning. Before we were around, the Cheerios were the stars of this school. And then we showed up and she's never forgiven us for stealing her thunder.

Artie

We didn't even place.

Rachel

Mr. Schuester, do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to give the lead solo in "Sit Down You're Rockin' the Boat" to a boy in a wheelchair?

Artie

I think Mr. Schuester is using irony to enhance the performance.

Rachel

There is nothing ironic about show choir!

Artie

Hey girl!

Tina

[stops short and turns Artie's wheelchair around to face her]: My eyes? Are up here! I am a person with feelings! Get out of my grill! I am a powerful woman, and my growing feminism will cut you in half like a righteous blade of equality! [stomps away]

Tina

Do you want a pretzel?

Artie

Hell, yes, woman.