Will Schuester quotes from Glee

Sue

"I miss my sister. Every night at 10 or so, she used to call me on the phone, and when I asked her why...she'd tell me her body told her...she wanted to hear my voice." [begins to cry]

Will

[gets up and takes Sue's paper] Here, I'll read it. [begins to read] "I miss my sister. The smell of her shampoo. The way she could always convince me to read her another book. When you love some like I loved her they're a part of you it's like you're attached by this invisible tether and no matter how far away you are you can always feel them and now every time I reach for that tether I know there's no one on the other end and I feel like I'm falling into nothingness and then I remember Jean. I remember a life lead with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets and I'm inspired to get up out of bed and go on. I miss my sister so much it feels like piece of me has been ripped off. Just one more time I want to hold her. Just ten more seconds-- is that too much to ask? For ten more seconds to hold her? But I can't and I won't and the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness is that Jean would kill me if I did. So for now I'm just going to miss her. I love you, Jeannie. Rest in peace.”

Mercedes

Did you know New York City was built on top of Old York City?

Tina

I'm pretty sure that's not true.

Mercedes

Oh. I'm just pretty.

Finn

Hey.

Rachel

Hi! I'm surprised at how well Quinn is taking the breakup. I guess I was wrong about her being a vindictive harpy.

Finn

I guess she just accepted the inevitable.

Rachel

Or maybe she's just distracted by the awesomeness of New York! I know I am. Hey, do you know why it smells like it's wet here all the time?

Finn

Nope. So, what's going on with you and Jesse?

Rachel

I don't know, he keeps texting me but I told him that I don't want to talk to him until I get back; no boys or distractions until we win that trophy. [leaves]

Will

Hey Finn, where the hell's Puckerman?

Finn

Umm...[glances at Puck and Lauren]

I'll have a Manhattan.

Do you even know what's in a Manhattan?

Yeah me, for the first time. Which is why I want to celebrate with a cocktail.

Kurt

Did you know I could get ahi tartare and a steak sandwich at 3 in the morning from their all-night dining menu? I feel like Eloise.

Brittany

I have pills for that.

Will

Now, you are all on lockdown until you finish writing our songs for Nationals. I want at least two solid verses by the time I get back.

Tina

Aren't you going to help us?

Will

I um, I will be back and read your amazing creations and give notes, but right now I have to head to the theatre to fill out some paper work.

Will

I love my kids.

What? No you don't. They're hideous. My kids are at least attractive. Yours look like they haven't been baked properly.

Jesse

I couldn't stay away.

Will

From the show, or her?

Jesse

Was that scripted?

Will

No.

Will

So, every day after choir practice, I am instituting a mandatory booty camp. So we can work on our dancing. Now, it's not for all of you, just the people that I think need help. Like...

Finn

Finn.

Will

How did you know?

Will

Miss Fabray! Wait. You know, there's only one person in this world that you care about. And that's yourself.

Quinn

You have no idea...

Will

[hammers his hand at the table] I'M NOT FINISHED!

Becky

Woah, woah, woah.

Will

You're not a little girl anymore, Quinn. How long are you planning on playing the victim card? Since day one, you've done nothing but sabotage the same Glee club that's been there for you over and over again, when you got pregnant, when your parents kicked you out. You know, Mercedes even let you live in her house! And I don't recall ever hearing so much as a "thank you". So now you're a train wreck. Well, congratulations. But you stride into my office and tell me it's my fault? Well, then I have something to say to you, grow up.

Will

Did you know that you are extremely racist?!?

Not quite.

Santana

What did you just say to her? [points at Rachel]

Finn

I said I thought you were great.

Santana

No, you're lying.

Rachel

No. He literally just said that.

Santana

(at Finn) You told her too?

Will

[stands up] Santana.

Santana

(at Finn) Everyone's gonna know now, because of you.

Finn

The whole school already knows. And you know what? They don't care.

Santana

Not just the school, you idiot. Everyone!

Finn

What are you talking abo-

Will

I just got off the phone with Don Barowsky, the local station manager at Lima's PBS affiliate. Turns out that their annual broadcast of the yule log burning has been canceled.

The hell?!

Finn

Wow, Quinn, that was incredible!

Will

Even more incredible is her big news. Tell them.

Quinn

I got into Yale! [clapping and cheering]

Will

It's Just--It's amazing for everything you've been through, you really deserve this, Quinn.

Mercedes

We're so proud of you, Quinn.

Quinn

I wanted to thank you guys, because without each and every one of you this would've never happened. You supported me and loved me through all the drama. And that's why I'm standing here. I wasted so much time hating myself for the stupid mistakes that I made, but the truth is is that without all of those I never would've dreamed this to be my future. I was the only one standing in the way of myself. You can't change your past, but you can let go and start your future.[cheering]

Will

You're messing with adult things here, Santana. This is my job. This is my life.

Santana

And this is my education, and it's not a joke to me, although it seems to be one to you.

Will

What are you talking about? They all loved my performance.

Santana

Because they don't know any better. It's your fault. You're their teacher. You went from "La Cucaracha" to a bullfighting mariachi. Why don't you just dress up as the Taco Bell chihuahua and bark the theme to Dora the Explorer? You don't even know enough to be embarassed about these stereotypes that you're perpetuating.

Will

That's not fair!

Santana

Isn't it? What did you want to be when you grew up? Why did you become a spanish teacher, Mr. Shue?

Will

Because... it was the only teaching position open at the time.

Santana

I want to remind you of something an amazing teacher once taught me: without passion, you can't succeed.

Will

Who taught you that?

Santana

You did. And you do. When you teach Glee.

Will

All right, guys! Let me ask you something: where do you think you'll be in the year 2030?

Broadway! (They look at each other) Twinsies!

Artie

Walking.

In jail. Or dead. Or both.

Finn

Whoa, whoa Tina where are you going?

Tina

You guys don't need me-- carry on.

Rachel

Tina, you don't understand. I need this.

Tina

Because you blew an audition? That's not a reason for you to get a solo at nationals. Maybe the rest of us would like one, too.

Rory

I wouldn't mind having another one before I get deported.

Sugar

I want one even though I can't sing.

Mike

Tina, Rachel's a senior.

Tina

So are you, but you can bet the only thing you'll be doing is a dance break with Brittany. Other people matter.

Will

Tina, you might not always get the solos, but you are a key player. I put you in charge of costumes.

Tina

Wow! like that's some prize. You want props to move around? Well I'm a human prop, and I'm sick of it!

Sue

Take a lap and cool down, Asian Number One.

Tina

My name is Tina. Tina Cohen-Chang!

Sue

Isn't she the one who used to stutter?