Why don't you just run for student body president?
I'm not smart enough.
Flashback:
“I Am Unicorn” · Season 3, Episode 2
In this episode: Brittany Pierce (6), Kurt Hummel (5), Quinn Fabray (3), Puck (3), Finn Hudson (2), Santana Lopez (2), Will Schuester (2), Mike Chang (2)
What's the capital of Ohio? [Brittany raises her hand] Brittany.
O.
[The class looks at her and laughs.]
What? Do you even know who the president is?
Will.i.am.
[The class laughs harder.]
So, every day after choir practice, I am instituting a mandatory booty camp. So we can work on our dancing. Now, it's not for all of you, just the people that I think need help. Like...
Finn.
How did you know?
Did you come here just to torment me about seeing my baby?
I want you to be a part of Beth's life...but not like this.
You kinda have this one move, Kurt. It's like this sashay and it's super distracting.
PPuck
I. Am. In. Hell.
Finn, you look like you're stepping on bees!
I got written permission from the woman herself, Miss Rachel Berry.
PPuck
Methol 100s? Really, skank?
You can't be in here. It's the girls' bathroom.
PPuck
I'm always here. The stalls are cleaner. Hey, you need to lose the skank act and get it together.
Everyone needs to leave me alone because this is who I am.
PPuck
You look like a Real Housewife of Reno. I saw Beth.
So?
PPuck
She's perfect. She looks just like you. Well, the old you.
Yeah, well it doesn't matter. We're not parent material.
PPuck
We can be.
We're never going to be together.
PPuck
I don't care about you, I care about her. I don't want her having questions, or being messed up. She needs you in her life.
Dude you're gay.
Excuse me?
You're gay. And you're not like Rock Hudson gay, you're really gay. You sing like Dianna Ross and and you dress like you own a magic chocolate factory.
PPuck
[about Beth] Oh my God, she looks like Quinn.
And you. She has that same dopey smile.
The poster that you wanted gave me crippling depression.
I wanted something toned down!
This is toned down. In the original, the unicorn was riding you.
[turns to Santana and Brittany] AND STOP PUTTING UP THOSE POSTERS! [leaves]
I failed my precious unicorn.
No! Look, this campaign is brilliant.
Really?
Completely! If he doesn't get it then he doesn't deserve to have you as his campaign manager. There's no one like you. You're a genius, Brittany. You are the unicorn.
You're the best girlfriend ever. [leans in to kiss Rachel]
No, you got grease on your nose.
Oh. [about to wipe his nose]
[shrugs] What the heck. [kisses Finn]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.