Okay. [to kids] Hey, guys, go on over to the diner and have breakfast with your families, and then ask the nice man in the baseball hat and the flannel shirt to do sock puppets for you. And if he says no, just ask him louder – it's part of the game!'
S3A Tale of Poes and Fire
S3Happy Birthday, Baby
Take the cake into the kitchen now, Teresa.
Wait, aren't I supposed to blow out the candles?
Oh, Teresa can do that.
Mom, it's tradition for the person whose name is on the cake to do the blowing.
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought only children liked to do that. Shall we bring it back out and relight it?
No.
Well, would you like to make a wish and blow out the tapers?
Why am I being mocked on my birthday?
Because it's the Gilmore way.
I'd like the wording to be a little harsher.
NNicole
Taylor, it already says that if Aunt Tilly's Taffy delivers even 2 hours late, they forfeit all payment for that particular shipment and are liable for any loss of income that may result from that late delivery. It's pretty extreme.
It may seem extreme, but those candy people are shifty characters.
NNicole
Why don't we leave the wording as it is for now and see how things go. We can get tougher later if necessary.
Yeah you could send over a couple of oompa-loompas to kick the crap out of Aunt Tilly.
This was my favorite thing to eat as a boy. My Gran used to make this for me whenever I was feeling a little sad. You know, if my cricket team lost or a girl I fancied, turned up her nose at me.
Well, then load me up, because there was this cute chick at the pharmacy today. I used my best material on her and nothing.
Richard, at least let Pena serve it.
No comment on my lesbian hilarity? My, how far we've come.
Well, I have something for you.
[places an envelope on the table]
Is it a hat?
No.
Is it a purse?
No.
Horse?
Lorelai.
George Foreman Grill?
Seventy-five thousand dollars. Seventy-five thousand dollars. Oh my God, that’s like 150 pairs of Jimmy Choos.
What are Jimmy Choos?
Shoes.
150 pairs, that’s it?
Dad, they’re Jimmy Choos.
For seventy-five thousand dollars, you should be able to buy at least three or four hundred pairs of shoes.
Not Jimmy Choos.
But that’s ridiculous. You are not going to spend seventy-five thousand dollars on Jimmy Choos when you could buy four hundred pairs of less prestigious but I’m sure equally stylish shoes. You will shop around first. Is that clear?
Yes, sir.
S3Keg! Max!
[The band is practicing as Rory and Jess watch.]
Whoa, cool.
We all finished at the same time.
That has never happened.
The middle of that song didn't even sound like us.
Yeah, it sounded good.
It sounded great, guys. All of it. Didn't it?
Not too shabby.
We are so ready for this gig.
We've got a gig. I just love the sound of that.
Where is it?
Kyle from school. His parents are going to Marriage Encounter for the weekend so he's throwing this mondo party.
You got enough songs?
We have enough for two half-hour sets. What we need is a name.
I made my suggestion.
Yeah, and we vetoed "The Harry Potters." Next.
So yours is better?
"Follow Them to the Edge of the Desert" is memorable and classy.
I run out of breath every time I say it.
You've got asthma, dude. You run out of breath saying your name.
Yeah, Brian, we can't work our name around your respiratory illnesses.
Even without an inhaler, "Follow Them to the Edge of the Desert" is too long.
Yeah, but when we get famous, our fans will shorten it to FTTTEOTD.
Guys, that was amazing. Really, it was awesome.
Thanks.
Dude, you did good, you really did. But you got a little too close to me when you were singing into the mike.
I got as close as I had to.
Your nose touched my cheek, man. That's too close.
Do not eat chips out of a communal bowl. You might as well stick your hand in a toilet.
Nice.
If you're desperate, offer to be the person who replenishes them with new bags and grab a handful out of the new bag and dump the rest in the communal bowl.
Got it.
And keep in mind that getting up on a table and performing a song of any kind will haunt you for the rest of your life. Trust me. Been there, done that.
I wasn't planning on doing that.
Hon, those things are never planned.
It's a Friday night. We should be out, I don't know, partying with the homies.
Our Stars Hollow homies are all in bed by now.
Okay, I didn't bring a frickin' tape measure. I'm not good at judging distances. You'll have to help me out with the ten feet thing.
Well, it's a little bigger than a basketball player. Just keep a really big basketball player between us.
Wow, I bet there's a sentence that's never been uttered before
S3Say Goodnight, Gracie
Hey, Luke.
I'm in bed. I have ten more minutes to sleep. Not a lot of time in the grand scheme of things, but still, ten minutes is ten minutes. You know what I mean.
Sure, yeah.
Ten minutes is great.
And then the phone rings, and it just rings and rings and rings and rings, so I pick it up.
And then hopefully got your hearing checked.
Can I finish my story?
I'm just saying, that's a lot of rings.
And on the other end of the phone is someone named John who says he's Kyle's father, and Kyle threw a party last night without permission. And two guys got into a fight and tore the place apart, so John wants me to come down and take a look at the damage and discuss some sort of solution to the problem of the damages. Now, I don't know John, and I certainly don't know Kyle, but I do know someone who would get into a fight at a party and leave the place completely trashed. It's a wild guess, but I think his name rhymes with "Tess". So here I am, heading in there to talk to John about Kyle and discuss what is to be done about the hummel.
The what?
Exactly.
A few weeks ago you told me that Lane had a crush on me. Well, I have a crush on her, too. Now, I know you have very strict rules about dating and boys, but I just want you to know that I'm a good person. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I've never gotten a ticket, I'm healthy, I take care of myself, I floss. I never watch more than 30 minutes of television a night partly because I think it's a waste of time and partly because there's nothing on. I respect my parents, I do well in school, I never play video games in case they do someday prove that playing them can turn you into a serial killer. I don't drink coffee. I hate soda because the carbonation freaks me out. I'm happy to give up meat if you feel strongly about it. I don't mind wearing a tie. I enjoyed playing those hymns on my guitar, and I really, really want to take your daughter to the prom.
[Mrs. Kim is silent.]
Mrs. Kim? Please don't make me repeat that list again.
"Let never day nor night unhallow'd pass, but still remember what the Lord hath done."
Okay, thank you.
[Dave and Lane walk outside.]
Did you hear what she said?
Yes, I did.
What did it mean?
I don't know.
Was it a yes, was it a no?
I'm not sure.
Well, it's gotta be from the Bible, right? So I'll just go home, do some research, look on the Internet, see what I can find. I'll call you when I know something.
Okay. Your first cop-raided party. I am just so proud.
Mom.
I just wish I could've been there.
It was no big deal.
Did they bring the paddywagon?
Yeah, but then we snuck out the backdoor of the speak-easy and headed straight for the Algonquin.
How was Benchley?
Drunk again.
We very respectfully hover in his vicinity until the walk is over.
Then we will politely ask him to get in touch with us.
Yes. Coming?
No, you guys go ahead. I'll be in the back of the line so that when the earth opens up and swallows you whole, I'll be here to tell the story.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilmore Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.