I mean we're getting married, Luke. Married. You and me. Luke 'Table for one' Danes and Lorelai 'I'm sorry can I get an industrial forklift for my emotional baggage' Gilmore are getting married.
S6New and Improved Lorelai
Huh? Where are we going?
To Funkytown.
No, hey, wait!
What? Did you change your mind? Oh, how did I screw it up so fast? Was the Funkytown thing too quippy, 'cause I thought you liked that about me, but -
I'm meeting more of Doyle's family tonight. I've been meeting people for months. He's got, like, five hundred cousins. And you know what? He's the tallest one in the family.
Really?
Yep. Family get-together is like a Lollipop Guild Convention. I have to stop myself from asking how it's going at the chocolate factory.
PPatty
Oh, the spontaneous proposals are the best, you know.
Yeah, Morey proposed to me spontaneously. Did I ever tell you the story?
Uh, no.
It was a brisk fall night, and Morey was on top. No, wait, I was on top.
What?
Hold on, Stoney Morrison was on top.
Babette!
We were playing Twister! Did I not mention that?
No.
[laughing] I probably should have.
So dinner, drink, movie, that's really what we're doing tonight?
I don't understand why you won't just believe me. I'm tired, I just want a mellow evening with my girlfriend.
Last time you were mellow you had a hundred and four temperature and even then, we were bar-hopping for an hour before you fainted.
I didn't faint, I passed out. Drink, dinner, movie, that's it.
Fine.
[he kisses her and they round the corner and stop in front of a door. It opens in front of them and all their friends are there, dressed in prison stripes]
FFriends
[singing] For she's a jolly good felon, for she's a jolly good felon. For she's a jolly good felon! Which nobody can deny!
After the party, that is!
S6Fight Face
Good. Because the eyes will give you away.
What do you mean?
When you're thinking of bolting. They'll pop out on you, like that Runaway Bride. It's like the eyes are trying to runaway first.
The only draw back is the name. Coco. Too cutesy. But he's a rescue so I don't wanna freak him out by giving him a new name right away, so I'm going to get to the name I want in baby steps. So for the first week I'll call him Coco to get him acclimated, then Coci, 3rd week Kooky, 4th week Tooky.
So you're going to name him Tooky?
No I'm going to name him Paul Anka but it's going to take awhile to get to Paul Anka.
I'm going to talk to TJ. But I'm going to be smart about it, I'm not going to spook him. I'm going to be like Michael Corleone dealing with that slimy brother-in-law of his. Get a couple of tickets to a ballgame. Invite him along and we'll talk about the beer and the hot dogs we're going to eat, and then I'm going to get him to admit that he did this. And then when we get in the car on the way to the ball park I'm going to put a rope around his neck and pull it 'till he's - DEAD!
Wait, wait. You're in the back seat?
Yeah, it's best for garroting. Yes.
No, he's totally going to smell something fishy if you hop in the back seat, especially if you're driving.
No, he's not that bright. It'll work!
Why are you even buying the tickets? You could just sneak up on him and garrote him on the street, save you the money!
S6The UnGraduate
Your muffins.
My what?
You left me an urgent message about needing muffins.
Oh, right! Muffins, boys!
These were for them?
Oh, no, they were for me. I thought I'd try to eat my weight in muffins today.
Does the dog have to sit in the chair like that?
Like what? His posture's perfect.
You know chairs are for people?
Not that chair. That's Paul Anka's chair.
Dogs are filthy. They have fleas and malaria on them. You shouldn't have fleas and malaria in the room that you're going to eat in.
I don't eat in here. They do.
: Hey, check out this trick we just taught Paul Anka. Hey, Paul Anka. Pizza! [He barks.] Pizza! Pizza! [He barks twice.] Salad. [He sits quietly. Everyone laughs except for Luke.] Good boy, good boy.
S6Always a Godmother, Never a God
I can't relax, it's Jackson's family! I try to say nice things to them, but they always misinterpret and they think I'm insulting them, so I - I've tried being really quiet, and then they're all like, you know, why are you so quiet? So I overcompensate and start cracking jokes like I'm Carrot Top and I start doing funny things with props, and, ugh, I hate prop comedy!
[solemnly] We all do, honey.
Remember my brother Bo? ...He thinks you're a nympho.
: Thinks you're a nymphomaniac. That means you really dig the fellas.
I know what it means, but how? I didn't say two words to the guy when I met him. I said one. Hi. And that was not in response to "What's your sex drive like?"
I read the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
I have a Bible, although I may or may not have accidentally given it to Goodwill because I am remodeling, but Goodwill is a religious organization. I think.
I buy tons of Girl Scout cookies.
I have two "Mary is my Homegirl" t-shirts.
The Bellevilles are free-loaders, the whole lot of them. They are as cheap as tan pantyhose with white sandals.
BBo
(Licking his finger and wiping it on him and Lorelai) How about we get out of these wet clothes.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilmore Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.