[The series' first lines]
Please, Luke. Please, please, please!
How many cups have you had this morning?
None.
Plus?
5, but yours is better.
You have a problem.
Yes, I do.
[Luke fills her cup.]
Junkie.
Angel. You've got wings, baby.
S1 E1Pilot
This is it. She can finally go to Harvard like she's always wanted and get the education that I never got and get to do all the things that I never got to do and then I can resent her for it and we can finally have a normal mother-daughter relationship.
[Lorelai is bursting to tell Rory about her acceptance to Chilton]
You look happy.
Yeah.
[suspiciously] Did you do something slutty?
I'm not that happy.
Champagne, ladies?
Wow, that's fancy.
Well, it's not every day I have my girls over for dinner on a day that the banks are open.
So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz going?
Eh, people die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.
Well, at least you have your new slogan.
How are things at the motel, Lorelai?
You mean the inn? Great.
[Phone rings, then continues to ring]
Michel - the phone!
Yes. It rings.
Can you answer it?
No. People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them.
Then how would you like to talk to the unemployment agency?
[Picks up phone] Hello Independence Inn, Michel speaking.
S1 E2The Lorelais' First Day at Chilton
I can't be late on my first day of school. Do you know what happens to people when they're late on their first day?
It's shorter?
Lorelai Gilmore.
Nice stripper name.
Formerly of Stars Hollow High School.
Where's that?
Drive west, make a left at the haystacks and follow the cows.
Ooh, a Dixie Chick.
I already had the longest day of my life and oh look, it's only 10! How nice!
There's no coffee.
That's not funny.
I can get you herbal tea.
This is not a herbal tea morning, this is a coffee morning.
Every morning for you is a coffee morning.
This is a jumbo coffee morning. I need coffee in an I.V.
I can give you tea and a balance bar.
Please, please, please, tell me you're kidding!
I'm kidding. [goes to get the coffee]
You're sick!
Yup!
You're a sadist, you're a fiend! [Luke comes out with the pot of coffee] You're pretty!
Well, we like our Internet slow, okay? We can turn it on, walk around, dance, make a sandwich. With DSL, there's no dancing, no walking, and we'd starve. It'd be all work and no play. Have you not seen The Shining, Mom?
Yeah, they kept calling me Mary.
You're kidding me. Wow, I can't believe they still say that.
Why? What does it mean?
Mary, like Virgin Mary. It means they think you look like a goody-goody.
You're kidding.
No.
Well, what would they have called me if they thought I looked like a slut?
Well, they might have added a Magdalene to it.
Wow, biblical insults. This is an advanced school.
S1 E3Kill Me Now
The battle for soup versus salad is raging in the other room. Come quick and settle it please, as I am running out of French curse words that they won't understand.
[to Lorelai] To me you are the teacher in the Charlie Brown Cartoon.
[about playing golf] Why should she pick something else? She needs to learn a sport and Richard can teach her a sport. [turns to Rory] You can use your mother's old golf clubs. They're upstairs gathering dust along with the rest of her potential.
OK, fine. Is that my sweater?
What?
You're wearing my sweater.
So?
No, it's OK. It's just I thought I asked you to at least ask, you know, before you borrow my stuff.
I'm sorry.
It's OK. It's just not too much for a simple "Can I borrow it, Mom?" is it?
No, it's not. Jeez, lighten up.
It's my favorite sweater too.
Since when?
Since always.
This is not your favorite sweater.
Yes it is and now it's going to be all stretched out just like everything else you borrow.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about that you take my sweaters and you wear them and you stretch them out.
I couldn't possibly stretch them out! Your boobs are way bigger than mine.
That is not true.
Yes it is.
Your boobs are totally bigger than mine!
You're crazy!
Do you want to measure?
What?
I'm serious. Why don't you get the measuring tape right now?
I am not going to measure my boobs.
Because you know that you are totally bigger.
I'm going inside.
Fine, don't measure. We'll just compare bras.
Stop it!
I'll stop when you quit stealing my stuff.
You're cracked!
You're... bigger.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilmore Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.