Zack quotes from Gilmore Girls

Zack

Yeah! Yeah! Welcome to the S.H., bitch!

Zack

I got it at the pawn shop. It belonged to like an Elk or a Moose or something but it looked cool and I could afford it so I got it.

Zack

Whoa, cool.

Dave

We all finished at the same time.

Lane

That has never happened.

Brian

The middle of that song didn't even sound like us.

Dave

Yeah, it sounded good.

Rory

It sounded great, guys. All of it. Didn't it?

Jess

Not too shabby.

Dave

We are so ready for this gig.

Lane

We've got a gig. I just love the sound of that.

Jess

Where is it?

Lane

Kyle from school. His parents are going to Marriage Encounter for the weekend so he's throwing this mondo party.

Jess

You got enough songs?

Dave

We have enough for two half-hour sets. What we need is a name.

Brian

I made my suggestion.

Zack

Yeah, and we vetoed "The Harry Potters." Next.

Brian

So yours is better?

Zack

"Follow Them to the Edge of the Desert" is memorable and classy.

Brian

I run out of breath every time I say it.

Zack

You've got asthma, dude. You run out of breath saying your name.

Dave

Yeah, Brian, we can't work our name around your respiratory illnesses.

Brian

Even without an inhaler, "Follow Them to the Edge of the Desert" is too long.

Zack

Yeah, but when we get famous, our fans will shorten it to FTTTEOTD.

Rory

Guys, that was amazing. Really, it was awesome.

Dave

Thanks.

Zack

Dude, you did good, you really did. But you got a little too close to me when you were singing into the mike.

Brian

I got as close as I had to.

Zack

Your nose touched my cheek, man. That's too close.

Zack

Right here. [points to his eyes] He's got some lines. That blows my mind.

Brian

What is he, late thirties?

Zack

Approaching forty.

Lane

Forty?

Brian

He was alive before man walked on the moon.

Zack

Don't do that, man. You're freaking me out.

Zack

He's had a lot of time to practice.

Brian

And the bicentennial - he was alive for that.

Zack

Elderly.

Brian

He was our age when we were born.

Brian

There were no CDs when he was born.

Zack

Stop it, man. I mean it.

Brian

He could have seen AC/DC with their original lead singer.

Zack

And 1980 is when that guy choked on his own vomit. That's old.

Brian

We shouldn't be rude.

Zack

Fine, we'll keep going, but remember, any new member has to be approved by all of us. So one vote against, and he's back at bingo.

Lane

Goodnight, Zack.

Zack

Goodnight.

Lane

Oh, no.

Zack

This is bad news: Once he hits his REM state, Motörhead wouldn't wake him.

Lane

Mom, I'm pregnant! We waited until after we were married. If you don't believe us we have a note from the doctor which doesn't prove anything but it's true!

Zack

Hit me! Hit me!

Zack

You can still be a person and you can still be rock and roll. Having babies doesn't mean you can't be rock and roll! Gimme a break... Sonic Youth has a kid and they're still way cool. And Mick Jagger. That cat has like 15 kids and he still goes out and rocks.

Lane

Yeah, I guess.

Zack

For sure. The man rocks hard. And then he comes home and makes another kid.

Zack

[singing] They called them the Diamond Dogs. Whoo hoo hoo. Bow wow.

Lorelai

We didn't need a song that necessarily had the dogs in the lyrics, right Michel?

Michel

Whatever. David Bowie sounds like a hoot.

Lorelai

More Princess Diana, less dog.

Zack

So you want Elton John?

Lorelai

We were thinking very dignified. Like Bach. Mozart.

Michel

Celine Dion.

Zack

Oh please...don't make me do that.

Michel

After all My Heart Will Go On was Chin-chin's favorite song.

Lorelai

Ah well then there you go. We'll just find uh My Heart...Belongs to Daddy...My heart belongs to me, My heart belongs to you, My heart can't make up it's mind.

Zack

How about Tears in heaven? That's a wicked song.

Lorelai

My heart is crying for you...My heart is waiting...My heart stood still...People very interested in this whole heart thing.

Zack

I Will Always Love You...I mean it's got the cheese factor but its still at least a legitimate...