Rory Gilmore quotes from Gilmore Girls

Rory

Oh my god! This is incredible. I mean its called Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate, but it is seriously Chocolate Chocolate Chocolaty. [Lorelai points to Taylor] Sorry.

Rory

Well, if they want an Anthea for "Portrait of a Young Girl Named Anthea," then they're going to have to have you for the Renoir.

Rory

That had all the tact of a Nazi stormtrooper.

Rory

Mom, it's me, I left you a message at home, too. I love that you got horses. As far as that pony ride when I was a kid, you were forgetting one little tidbit there. That pony did not lie down. He died, okay? He died. And then the owner dragged him away by the back legs. Every time I use glue, I think of him. But I'll watch you ride, how's that? Call me back, bye.

Rory

Okay, well, I wrote something down here, but I cannot for the life of me read my own handwriting. Seriously, if I had this analyzed, Charlize Theron would be playing me in a movie… 'Cause I'd be a serial killer, and pretty girls like to get fat and play serial killers 'cause they win an Oscar and - I'm sorry, should I go on?

Rory

I got your event integrity right here, mister.

Rory

I can't get "coming around the mountain" out of my mind. It's like one of those phrases like "drop it like it's hot" that I really wish I'd never heard.

Rory

Jess, you've got such a great brain. I knew that if you could just sit down and stop shaking it around you could do something like this.

Rory

They're people. You're people. I mean you don't sing, and neither does Luke. But neither does Gwen or Gavin, really.

Rory

You look happy.

Lorelai

Yeah.

Rory

[suspiciously] Did you do something slutty?

Lorelai

I'm not that happy.

Rory

So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz going?

Richard

Eh, people die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.

Lorelai

Well, at least you have your new slogan.

Richard

How are things at the motel, Lorelai?

Lorelai

You mean the inn? Great.

Rory

I can't be late on my first day of school. Do you know what happens to people when they're late on their first day?

Lorelai

It's shorter?

Rory

Yeah, they kept calling me Mary.

Lorelai

You're kidding me. Wow, I can't believe they still say that.

Rory

Why? What does it mean?

Lorelai

Mary, like Virgin Mary. It means they think you look like a goody-goody.

Rory

You're kidding.

Lorelai

No.

Rory

Well, what would they have called me if they thought I looked like a slut?

Lorelai

Well, they might have added a Magdalene to it.

Rory

Wow, biblical insults. This is an advanced school.

Lorelai

OK, fine. Is that my sweater?

Rory

What?

Lorelai

You're wearing my sweater.

Rory

So?

Lorelai

No, it's OK. It's just I thought I asked you to at least ask, you know, before you borrow my stuff.

Rory

I'm sorry.

Lorelai

It's OK. It's just not too much for a simple "Can I borrow it, Mom?" is it?

Rory

No, it's not. Jeez, lighten up.

Lorelai

It's my favorite sweater too.

Rory

Since when?

Lorelai

Since always.

Rory

This is not your favorite sweater.

Lorelai

Yes it is and now it's going to be all stretched out just like everything else you borrow.

Rory

What are you talking about?

Lorelai

I'm talking about that you take my sweaters and you wear them and you stretch them out.

Rory

I couldn't possibly stretch them out! Your boobs are way bigger than mine.

Lorelai

That is not true.

Rory

Yes it is.

Lorelai

Your boobs are totally bigger than mine!

Rory

You're crazy!

Lorelai

Do you want to measure?

Rory

What?

Lorelai

I'm serious. Why don't you get the measuring tape right now?

Rory

I am not going to measure my boobs.

Lorelai

Because you know that you are totally bigger.

Rory

I'm going inside.

Lorelai

Fine, don't measure. We'll just compare bras.

Rory

Stop it!

Lorelai

I'll stop when you quit stealing my stuff.

Rory

You're cracked!

Lorelai

You're... bigger.

Rory

I’m going to a serious school now, I need serious paper.

Lorelai

Paper’s paper.

Rory

Not at Chilton.

Lorelai

Alright, fine. Here is your serious paper.

Rory

Thank you.

Lorelai

Ooh and here are your somber highlighters, your maudlin pencils, your manic-depressive pens.

Rory

Mom.

Lorelai

Now these erasers are on lithium so they may seem cheerful but we actually caught them trying to shove themselves in the pencil sharpener earlier.

Rory

I’m going home now.

Lorelai

No, wait! We’re going to stage an intervention with the neon post-its and make them give up their wacky crazy ways.