Sookie St. James quotes from Gilmore Girls

Sookie

I can't relax, it's Jackson's family! I try to say nice things to them, but they always misinterpret and they think I'm insulting them, so I - I've tried being really quiet, and then they're all like, you know, why are you so quiet? So I overcompensate and start cracking jokes like I'm Carrot Top and I start doing funny things with props, and, ugh, I hate prop comedy!

Lorelai

[solemnly] We all do, honey.

Remember my brother Bo? ...He thinks you're a nympho.

Sookie

: Thinks you're a nymphomaniac. That means you really dig the fellas.

Lorelai

I know what it means, but how? I didn't say two words to the guy when I met him. I said one. Hi. And that was not in response to "What's your sex drive like?"

Michel

We are on Sores and Boils Alley.

Sookie

Why can't it be something that doesn't ooze and run? What about bunions? Bunions are ok right? Sort of onions, mixed with buns, sorta appetizing if you don't think about it too much.

Sookie

Oh my God, I just saw the cherubs. Ok, let's think. Maybe if you just strip the wood.

Lorelai

And light a match?

Sookie

And throw in a little gasoline.

Lorelai

Maybe we shouldn't watch this.

Sookie

It's hard not to.

Got a bit of tobacco in it. And a bit of marshmallow.

Sookie

Eww. Now I can't smoke a cigar or eat a marshmallow again.

Lorelai

How does one discover a talent for this?

Remember. We've got spit buckets if anyone needs one.

Lorelai

He's completely in shock and he's trying to handle it the best he can.

Sookie

Drinking?

Lorelai

No.

Sookie

Xanax?

Sookie

Food!

Lorelai

No I'm Lorelai

Sookie

Heavy!

Lorelai

Now that's just mean!

Sookie

Why are we running?

Lorelai

58 seats, 62 Koreans!

Lorelai

Is there something long and sharp sticking out of my head?

Sookie

No.

Lorelai

Well I want there to be. There is an effect. I need a cause.

Sookie

The cause was ten giant shots of tequila honey.

Lorelai

So now, what did I do in front of the camera?

Sookie

Well when you spotted the videographer, you got suddenly very excited to film your audition tape for America's Next Top Model.

Lorelai

Oh My God!

Sookie

Yeah

Lorelai

I thought that was a dream!

Sookie

It wasn't

Lorelai

The posing, the strutting, the inappropriate gyrating?

Sookie

All caught on video and several of Zack's friend's camera phones.

Lorelai

Why didn't you stop me?

Sookie

I tried. We all tried. But you were on a mission. You kept saying "I'm not here to make friends! I wanna win!" And then after that...

Lorelai

There's an after that?

Sookie

You tried to start a limbo contest a poker game, and a secret club for super cool party people only. None of those things really took off especially the limbo considering your choice of limbo sticks was Zacks..

Lorelai

[chiming in] great uncle's cane! Oh yeah, Is he ok?

Sookie

He stumbled but we caught him. He's fine!

Lorelai

So is that all? Anything else I need to worry about?

Sookie

Nope, after you crowned yourself arm-wrestling champion of the world Christopher and Rory scooped you up and got you home.

Sookie

Super cool party people bid you super cool adieu!!

Sookie

That's how you were saying goodbye to people at the wedding.

Lorelai

Super.

Michel

For the last two weeks I've been drinking 2% Milk in my coffee every single day!!

Lorelai

Insert gasp here.

Michel

That's two full weeks of two cups of coffee every day. It used to be one cup but then the coffee started tasting so good I added an afternoon jolt. And now I've found out that I've been consuming an extra billion calories a day.

Lorelai

At least it's not affecting your ability to do math. [To Sookie] Isn't this bouncing bothering you?

Sookie

It was but now it's like having a Beyoncè video on.

Sookie

I could bake it into brownies.

But then what would we do with the brownies?

Sookie

We are the champions - my friends And we'll keep on fighting - till the end - We are the champions - We are the champions! No time for losers... Oh! I'm a fantastic arm wrestler. You know what I think did it? Whisking! All these years of whisking has given me incredible forearm strength. People are always like why take the time to hand whip fresh cream? And I've always been like I don't know why I do it, it's just something I do. But now I know, because I've been training for this day. I mean, Wow! I am strong. And the omelet flipping definitely is part of it. You know when you use one of those really heavy cast iron skillets and you 'flip, flip.' I mean, that's all in the wrist you know? And that's what they say, you know, that's what people say about arm wrestling too, that it's all in the wrist, and Man I have super bionic super power super wrists! I mean who knew I possessed such...Honey? Something's wrong huh?

Lorelai

Yeah.

Sookie

It's OK you know, after breaking up out of a big relationship it's normal to have a rebound thing. A big bouncy rubber ball of a rebound thing. It's good...

Lorelai

But?

Sookie

But. A rubber ball is a 28 yr old surfer, or a jazz saxophonist who drives a VW bus, or a really cute guy that can't even spell his last name. It's not the father of your only child. Christopher is not your rubber ball. He's a big heavy bowling ball!