Paris Geller quotes from Gilmore Girls

Paris

Unbelievable! She’s here five minutes she has a date. I’ve been going to this school nine years and I’m the French soda monitor.

Paris

Rory, sorry to interrupt. Hi, Henry. But see, we're all standing over there trying to map out a game plan and a rehearsal schedule, and I'm sure whatever the two of you are talking about over here is so much more fascinating and important and, well, gosh, let's just say it: fun. But I'd really like to get an 'A' on this assignment, and in order to do that I'm afraid you're gonna have to discuss your sock hops and your clambakes some other time, okay? Thanks.

Paris

Ben Franklin was out of his mind.

Paris

You sleep with one old guy, and suddenly you're Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Paris

Karl Marx has really come alive for me today. I didn't know what he was yammering about before, and now it just seems so obviously wrong that those who control capital should make their fortunes off the labor of the working class.

Paris

I bet the Romanovs never RSVPed either. They got theirs, capitalist scum!

Paris

Wow, you're always so Desmond Tutu-y. This is refreshing.

Paris

It's going to be a great term, people. An important term. A term to change the history of the Yale Daily News. The work will be hard. It has to be hard. Nothing less than perfect will be tolerated. Please remember that I am your editor. I am not your mother, or your hugger. If you need some love, get a hooker. If you're having a bad day, find a ledge or way to deal. My door is not open to you, ever. You have five minutes to enjoy your cookies. Welcome to the Yale Daily News.

Paris

No one invited you in here. Now get out before I go Bonaduce on your ass!

Paris

Forget it. I don't know how to read charts yet. I could tell you everything I know about the dominant and recessive genes of a fruit fly but God forbid I learn how to read a chart until I'm a 4th year surgical resident.

Paris

She's got a C-Average which means she's either lazy or stupid. I can work with either. Frankly stupid's sometimes easier, I can scare the stupid out of you but the lazy runs deep.

Paris

You should call your "Girls Gone Wild" friends. They seem delightful in a get crazy drunk in Cancun and flash your breasts kind of way.

Paris

[to Rory] Huntzberger? Between the women and the drinking that kid was on the Colin Farrell freeway about to pull over onto the Robert Downey rest stop.

Paris

[to Rory] Oh you broke him. You broke him hard. You can open the gate and he's not going to bolt. You can kick him with a spur and he's not going to spooke. You own him...Hey let's make them go out and get tattoos. It'll be like we branded them.

Paris

Lorelai Gilmore.

Louise

Nice stripper name.

Paris

Formerly of Stars Hollow High School.

Louise

Where's that?

Paris

Drive west, make a left at the haystacks and follow the cows.

Louise

Ooh, a Dixie Chick.