What do you mean, Luke's out of town?
Ah, well, I mean... Luke's left town. He's gone far away from town. Town's there and Luke's over here.
He's not coming to the wedding with you?
You mean, you're coming alone? Unescorted?
Well, Rory will be there, so.
You can't come alone. An unmarried woman of certain age, unescorted, wearing the clothes you tend to wear. People will think things, bad things.
Like you're a tramp and possibly for sale.
Wow, suddenly Footloose is not seeming so silly.
Well, I guess first of all, we should agree on of a price.
You'll have to find someone, who'll bring you. You have to find a man.
In one day? Are you kidding me? It took me this long to find Luke.
My daughter wants you at her wedding, fine. But if you're to come, then you need to come with a man. [goes back into her house] And Kirk does not count!
[to herself] Lorelai Gilmore. Disappointing mothers since 1968.
Lane, I have something very upsetting to talk to you about.
It concerns the wedding night.
Yes, oh boy. Marriage is a job, Lane. There are rewards that come with this job but there are also sacrifices. There are things you’re gonna have to do.
Momma, you don’t have to-
You need to hear this! You need to know what to expect. It will start early.
The man’s expectations. It starts early. At the wedding, actually. At the wedding you’re going to have to kiss him.
You’ll then be expected to share a bed with tonight, and when you’re in that bed, you’re expected to-
You’re gonna have to do it with this boy, Lane. You’re just gonna have to do it. Hopefully, if you’re lucky like me, you’ll only have to do it once.
Eh, excuse me. Hi. Mrs. Kim? I'd like you to meet Christopher Hayden. He's Rory's father and a MAN!
Did that really need clarification?
[Lane's grandmother and mother run to a large statue of Buddha and begin bowing continuously]
Three complaints, two insults, and a hefty dose of religious guilt.
Oh, it's called the ritual of 108 bows.
It should be called 108 ows. Heh. My mother woulda liked that.
Ok we gotta make sure we got everything on the list. Rory read out the list.
Various chocolately treats. Alternative alcohol for those who don't like beer, and beer.
GY Gee-Young
I had to get outta house. Stinks of kimchee and incense you can't breathe. There are buddhas everywhere staring at you
When did you start double dressing. And Avril Lavigne?
GY Gee-Young
Avril Lavigne rocks! You are such a snob. If it's not Joy Division, you don't like it. Well, you can't dance to Joy Division!
Um ok. :[typing on Rory's Sidekick to Christopher] Your daughter is about to see Richard Gere's penis. Enjoy your celery. That should shut him up for a while.
[Friend of Lane's throwing up by the gazebo]
That's gotta be some kind of record.
She is, well... Hold on a sec. [holds his phone in the air] You hear that?
Oh, come on... It's naptime.
Not until four, my friend.
Ha... Then she's holding her breath until you buy her a Porsche.
She is in her room playing with her toys, shining her halo as we speak.
Well, well, well... Look who's cracking the whip.
I gotta tell you, that "No" word is pretty awesome. I can't wait to try out the "You're grounded".
[looking at her sidekick] Dad's feet are two different sizes.
Oh for the love of... Hey. [holds up two purses] Which one says "Hi, I'm not a whore, enjoy your day"?
Alright Calamity Jane, lets get you to bed.
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