Turanga Leela quotes from Futurama

Leela

Oh, no, the monks! We forgot to let them out of the laundry room.

Fry

Do we have to? They're monks, after all. I'm sure their God will let them out, or at least give them more shoes to eat.

Bender

Fat chance! You can't count on God for jack! He pretty much told me so Himself. Now, come on. If we don't free those monks, no one will.

Leela

Zoidberg owned 51% of the company?

Hermes

The shares were worthless, and he kept asking for toilet paper!

Leela

We haven't made a single delivery since you took over!

Delivery has nothing to do with the delivery business!

Scruffy

Now hold on there. Scruffy votes his forty thousand shares for the mysterious stranger.

Leela

Forty thousand? How come you have four times as much stock as the rest of us?

Scruffy

Scruffy believes in this company. [Sniffles]

Fry

Man, I don't wanna hurt Bender's feelings but this food actually tastes better as vomit!

Leela

It's unbearable! How much do you think it would cost to have my tongue removed?

Kif

Leela must have impregnated me when she grabbed my ungloved hand. That explains the poster in hygiene class: "No Glove, No Love".

Leela

Wow, this is all so confusing.

Zapp Brannigan

Leela! How could you? Our love has had to endure your constant hatred, and now this? [crying] Stop testing our love!

Leela

There goes my DNA. What a disgusting and beautiful process.

Fry

That's birth for you.

Leela

I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.

Fry

Yeah, I do that with my stupidness.

Fry

Just remember that people care about you.

Leela

I know.

Leela

Sometimes, when I'm lonely, I look up at the sky and I get this feeling that somewhere, on some unknown planet, circling a distant star, my parents are up there, looking down on me.

Leela

The lake didn't mutate me. What is going on here?

It worked for me. I used to be a little blonde girl named Virginia.

Fry

Leela, don't shoot!

Leela

But they killed my parents!

Fry

Close!

Leela

They are my parents!

Bender

Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers?

Planet Express Ship

Ugh, it's filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we're at it?!

Bender

Why not indeed?!

Leela

Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I'm going to come back there and change your opinions manually!

Knowing which pickup lines fizzle, and which ones sizzle keeps us on the cutting edge of flirtation technology!

Is heaven missing an angel? Because you've got nice cans!

My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself.

Leela

Does that dummy have a brother?

Prof. Farnsworth

Remember, we need to show these people that we are not bitter husks of human beings, who long ago abandoned hope of finding love in this lifetime. Leela, you'll have to do some acting.

Leela

Check.

Leela

Look, I'm not saying Bender's not great, but have you ever considered that maybe, you know, he's not that great?

Planet Express Ship

[scoffs] You're just jealous. No one loves you 'cause you're tiny and you're made of meat.