DNDefrosted Neanderthal
As a caveman frozen in a glacier, I faced different challenges. [crying] The hardest thing was seeing my wife on display in the British Museum.
“Future Stock” · Season 3
In this episode: That Guy (5), Turanga Leela (4), Zoidberg (3), Philip J. Fry (2), Professor Hubert Farnsworth (2), Hermes Conrad (2), Mom (2), Bender (1)
TGThat Guy
There are two kinds of people: sheep and sharks. Anyone who is a sheep is fired. Who's a sheep?
Errr, excuse me... which is the one people like to hug?
TGThat Guy
Gutsy question. You're a shark.
Question. Do you have to have been cryogenically frozen to get the free... [the guy closes the door on his face] You didn't let me finish! I was going to say "to get the free food".
I'll ruin you like I ruined this company!
Zoidberg owned 51% of the company?
The shares were worthless, and he kept asking for toilet paper!
This isn't a business. I've always thought of it more of a source of cheap labour, like a family.
We can't compete with Mom! Her company is big and evil! Ours is small and neutral!
TGThat Guy
Switzerland is small and neutral! We're more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood!
Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of will?
We haven't made a single delivery since you took over!
TGThat Guy
Delivery has nothing to do with the delivery business!
Now hold on there. Scruffy votes his forty thousand shares for the mysterious stranger.
Forty thousand? How come you have four times as much stock as the rest of us?
Scruffy believes in this company. [Sniffles]
Oh my god! I'm a millionare! Suddenly I have an opinion on the capital gains tax!
TGThat Guy
Hairgel?
No thanks. I make my own.
[watching Fry moon her] You call that a pressed ham? Walt, hit the retaliate button!
[Walt searches for the button]
Press any button! They all retaliate!
TGThat Guy
Everyone's fired and we're out of business! [the Planet Express crew protest] I'm going to sell Planet Express to Mom, so she can gut the company and eliminate us as competitors!
Don't let the door hit you on the way out, 'cause I don't want ass prints on my new door!
[last lines]
Once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor.
[eats the old rotten sandwich in his hand]
Oh, I'm ruined! [crying] Why?
Look, so we're not millionaires. At least we all still get to work together.
[muttering] Shut your fat mouth!
See you guys Monday!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.