Turanga Leela quotes from Futurama

Leela

Man, I'm sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor.

Fry

I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.

Leela

I'm getting a one-day pass for my parents from city hall.

Hermes

While you're there, can you get me a license to kill?

Leela

Sure. Fire arms of bare hands?

Hermes

Which one does piano wire fall under?

Fry

When you were a kid, what was your biggest fantasy?

Leela

To have parents.

Fry

Whatever. The correct answer is, to be a superhero!

Leela

Ability to command the loyalty of sea creatures?

Fry

Hey, Zoidberg! Get in here!

Dr. Zoidberg

[faintly, from another room] Screw you!

Leela

Ain't got that.

Fry

Nope.

Leela

We have to keep our secret identities secret!

Fry

From everybody?

Leela

Especially from everybody!

Fry

Give several reasons why.

Leela

Dr. Zoidberg, how can you claim to love freedom and then enslave humanity?

Dr. Zoidberg

Bah! Your planet doesn't deserve freedom until it learns what it is not to have freedom. It's a lesson, I say!

Leela

Cool your jowls, Nixon. You may not like it that Dr. Zoidberg desecrated a flag. You might even find the image of it festering in his bowels somehow offensive. But the right to Freedom of Expression is guaranteed by the Earth Constitution!

Is that so? Well, I happen to know a place where the Constitution doesn't mean squat!

Leela

As unclean as it makes me feel, I agree with Bender. Kids don't turn rotten just because of what they see on TV.

Fry

Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.

Calculon

That was so terrible, I think you gave me cancer! I don't care how popular you are, you will never work on my show!

Fry

Yay, Bender!

Leela

We demand Bender!

Calculon

However, you've got the job.

Leela

Bender, your swarthy Latin charm will only get you so far. There are a lot of professional child robots here.

Fry

Look, there's Macaulay Cul-kon.

Leela

He's just not cute since he had puberty installed.

Leela

Acting like a moron won't solve anything.

Fry

Then all hope is lost!

Fry

Oh, my God! It's out of ice, like some outer space Motel 6!

Leela

Completely out of ice?

Bender

This could mean the end of the banana daiquiri as we know it! Also, life.

Dr. Zoidberg

Strange. Why would Nixon, an awkward, uncomfortable man, suddenly throw a party, one of the most social events imaginable? Is a trap, is why! They're going to deactivate all the robots! [pause] I don't hear any gasping.

Leela

We all figured that out.

Dr. Zoidberg

Aw...

Fry

We miss the turn. We'll never catch up.

Leela

Yes we will. This pipe goes under Planet Express, and it's 9:00 PM.

Professor Farnsworth

The devil take this predictable colon!

Morris

Let's all have some tequila to celebrate!

Leela

Dad, I'm underage!

Morris

Oh, right. Here's a silly straw.