Cubert Farnsworth quotes from Futurama

Come on, Leela! Step your big boot down on the gas pedal.

[She does. Cut to Near-Death Star Landing Pad, the ship takes off and the landing gear goes up. The guest drop off door opens and three guardbots fly out. Guardbot #1 shoots at the ship and two laser bolts hit the engine, causing it to shut down. The ship falls onto the landing pad and the guardbots' hover-ships buzz around it. Cut to Ships Cockpit, an alarm beeps and a red lights flashes]

Leela

They've blown out one of our engines!

[fast] Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it! Fix it, fix it, fix it!

Leela

Only the Professor knows how to fix it. We have to wake him up.

[She grabs Farnsworth's night shirt and shakes him around. Fry blasts him with an air horn and Bender empties a chest cabinet full of water over him]

Try shocking him!

Your social security cheque is late! Stuff costs more than it used to! Young people use curse words!

Damn it, we'll have to fix the engine ourself.

Leela

We can't, you bastard! No one knows how it works. It's impossible!

[Cubert comes around and puts his hand in the air]

Cubert

Nothing is impossible. I understand how the engines work now. It came to me in a dream. [He lifts an access hatch and starts fiddling with some wires under the floor] The engines don't move the ship at all. The ship stays where it is, and the engines move the universe around it.

That's a complete load!

Cubert

Nothing's a complete load! Not if you can imagine it. That's what being a scientist is all about. Right, Professor? [Farnsworth mumbles. Cubert closes the access panel] Let's ride!

S2 A Clone of My Own

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Those pork dumplings sent us on a fake pizza delivery!

The address was to "Dogdoo 8", but the universe ends right after Dogdoo 7.

[to Dwight] Child mon, is this true?

DDwight

Yeah, but why are you mad at us? Your dummy brigade wasted a week on an obviously fake mission.

Cubert

[points at Bender] Plus, they're making bootleg beer inside company property!

[nervously] Lies! Lies and slander! [belches foam]

FFarnsworth

Accusing gentle Bender of a misdeed?! That's the last straw! You boys have been underfoot long enough!

You jerked the words right outta my mouth! We're their fathers, and it's high times we acted like it!

[eagerly] Ooh-hoo! Here comes violence!

[clears his throat] Get a job, you lazy kids!

[Dwight and Cubert gasp]

[groans, then gets out a baseball bat] I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself.

S3 The Route of All Evil

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FFarnsworth

This is my latest invention; a device that lets anyone sound exactly like me!

Cubert

[Speaks into machine] Good news, everyone! I'm a horse's butt!

FFarnsworth

I am? That's not good news at all, you little--!

S3 The Route of All Evil

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DDwight

You don't wanna miss the unveiling of our new company, do you?

Company? [He laughs.] How cute! What will you be pedalling? Lemonade? Shoe shines? Cootie insurance?

FFarnsworth

Perhaps they've constructed a teddy bear hospital!

[They laugh]

Cubert

Actually, we're starting a competing delivery company.

[He pulls the sheet off to reveal a red "Awesome Express" logo. Hermes and Farnsworth look at each other and stand up]

S4 Bender Should Not Be Allowed On TV

Welcome to the world of business.

[He and Farnsworth kick the logo and smash it down]

S3 The Route of All Evil

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[Cubert and Dwight have been watching Bender on television]

Cubert

Hey dad, bite my shiny metal ass!

Professor

What?! Such an action would be extremely uncomfortable for both of us!

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Well, I'd say we all learned a valuable lesson about TV there.

Cubert

What was it?

PFProf. Farnsworth

Uh ... that we should all take TV a little less seriously. And more importantly, turn it off once in a while.

DDwight

So, should we turn it off now?

PFProf. Farnsworth

Well, uh, that depends what's on.

S4 Bender Should Not Be Allowed On TV

Nothing good.

PFProf. Farnsworth

Ah, let's just keep watching.

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[Zoidberg and Cubert are standing near the fossil of a long-necked reptile.]

Zoidberg

Look, Cubert. The neck on this one. I bet he spent a fortune on ties! What, too soon?

Cubert

I highly doubt a Jurassic Elaphrosaurus has access to neckwear.

Zoidberg

I knew I should have gone with the ring-around-the-collar joke.

S6 A Clockwork Origin

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Cubert

This may take a while. I've got to adjust the memory timing, raise the CPU voltage, and delete twelve terabytes of outdated catchphrases.