Make Bender take a nap in a tube! [removes the torpedo] Come back when I had some sleep, baby.
“Godfellas” · Season 3
In this episode: Bender (8), Turanga Leela (5), Philip J. Fry (4), God Entity (4), Professor Hubert Farnsworth (1), Zoidberg (1)
[noticing she mistook Bender for an actual torpedo] That's not Torpedo #3! That's not Torpedo #3 at all!
You know, I was God once.
Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died.
Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket.
Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money!
Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
Look, I miss Bender almost half as much as you do, but you can't bring him back this way! It's hopeless!
You can't give up hope just because it is hopeless! You gotta hope even more, and cover your ears, and go: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!"
Well, you obviously won't listen to reason... So I guess I'll listen to idioticness and come with you.
O' cruel fate, to be thusly boned! Ask not for whom the bone bones - it bones for thee.
That galaxy is signaling in binary. I should signal back, but I only know enough binary to ask where the bathroom is. You speak English?
I do now.
[Prof. Farnsworth is searching for Bender with his Smelloscope]
Anything yet, professor?
I'm afraid the Smelloscope can't locate Bender. His fragrance is too mild. It's being overwhelmed by local sources.
[Everyone looks at Zoidberg]
Hooray! People are paying attention to me.
So do you know I'm going to do something before I do it?
Yes.
What if I do something else?
Then I don't know that.
MMalachi
My Lord, the infidels on your back no longer believe in you. They say their prayers go unheeded.
Of course they go unheeded! How am I supposed to hear prayers coming out of my ass?
Hmm...finding God. That's important, yeah. But you know what might be a treat for everyone? If you let me use the telescope to find my lost friend Bender.
M1Monk #1
I don't know what to say, other than... absolutely not! Sure, your loss is a tragedy, but our work...
Come on, you guys have forever to look for God. All I'm asking is one measly lifetime to find my friend.
M2Monk #2
He speaks out of love for his friend. Perhaps that love in his heart is God.
M1Monk #1
Oh, how convenient! A way of looking for God that doesn't require looking through a telescope. Get back to work!
Oh, no, the monks! We forgot to let them out of the laundry room.
Do we have to? They're monks, after all. I'm sure their God will let them out, or at least give them more shoes to eat.
Fat chance! You can't count on God for jack! He pretty much told me so Himself. Now, come on. If we don't free those monks, no one will.
So that's my story, Father Changstein el Gamahl. Is there anything religion can do?
FCFather Changstein el Gamahl
Well, we could join together in prayer.
Uh-huh, but is there anything useful we can do?
FCFather Changstein el Gamahl
No.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.