Philip J. Fry quotes from Futurama

Fry

What happened to me, Philip J. Fry, on December 31, 1999?

Clarification request! Are you the Philip J. Fry from Earth, or the Philip J. Fry from Hovering Squid World 97-A?

Earth, you fat idiot!

Leela

You may not be the most important person in the universe, but I'm really glad to see you right now.

Fry

Then I am the most important person in the universe.

Fry

Yes!!

Leela

[as they take cover under the shelves] Those words are forbidden!

Fry

What words? Star Trek? [an alarm sounds]

Walter Koenig

When we woke up, we had these bodies.

Fry

Say it in Russian!

Walter Koenig

[sigh] Ven ve voke up, ve had zese wodies.

Fry

Eeeee! Now say "nuclear wessels"!

Walter Koenig

No!

Fry

You can do anything you want. Look at Walter Koenig. After Star Trek, he became an actor.

Walter Koenig

Not just an actor, but a well-rounded person. With my own friends and credit cards and keys.

Well, I… guess I could move out of my parents' basement… maybe get a temp job.

Fry

Whoa, whoa! One step at a time.

I thank you, Fry. You know, you and I are of a kind. In a different reality I could have called you "friend”.

Fry

Episode 10, Balance of Terror.

More like episode nine, loser! In your face, victory is mine! [He turns his ship around and flies away, laughing]

Leonard Nimoy

Nichelle, George, Walter, DeForest, Welshie...

Fry

"Welshie"?

Nichelle Nichols

We did some musical reunion specials in the 22-hundreds, but the guy who played Scotty had trouble yodeling.

Fry

I am literally angry with rage! Your costars may be gone, but we can still get those episode tapes back for the whole world to see! Come on! [Nimoy groans]

[after jump into the jar] Yes! Front row!

Leela

For 100 Quatloos, who did the Captain maroon on Ceti Alpha V?

William Shatner

[He leaps up] KHAAAAAAAAAAN!

Fry

Uh... Khan?

Leela

Correct.

Professor Hubert Farnsworth

These bees are larger than most Buicks, and twice as ugly.

Fry

Larger than an American sedan? How big is the honeycomb?

Hermes

Honeycomb's big, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bender

It's not small?

Hermes

No, no, no.

Prof. Farnsworth

Turn off that crap-o-rama! One mistake now, and Bender will be trapped forever between the already ill-defined robot sexes. [Uses a hammer and a chisel on Bender]

Fry

Well, Bender, I hope this has taught you a lesson about changing your sex to win five gold medals.

Bender

[Soft voice] It truly has. My romance with Calculon has shown me a lot about myself.

Prof. Farnsworth

Almost done...

Bender

[Continuing in a soft voice] If only somehow, some way...he and I could drive to Vegas pick up some floozy-bots and void their warranties all night long! Whoo!

Fry

Yay, my buddy's home!

Presenting the woman who "Mom"-opolizes the robot industry...

Fry

I get it!

MOM!

Fry

Ohhh, now I get it!

Fry

There but for the flip of a coin go we. So, um, Leela? Seeing how the universe wasn't destroyed, you wanna catch an ape fight? You know, together?

Leela

Well, I guess you deserve one more flip.

Fry

So, heads or tails?

Leela

Y'know, let's just say it's heads.

Farnsworth

Ready?

Farnsworth

and One, two, three, pull!

Farnsworth

There. That space-time eversion has given us their box and vice versa.

Leela

So, what you think you just explained to us is that--

Farnsworth

Correct! This box contains our own universe.

Hermes

Sweet honey bee of infinity!

Leela

Bender! Quit destroying the universe!

Bender

But...

Farnsworth

Yes, all that is and ever shall be is in that box. And the box itself is probably worth something too. We must cherish it, as we cherish every moment of our lives.

Bender

You seem a tad wound up, buddy. And your face is greasy. Real greasy. You been up all night?

Fry

Of course I've been up all night! Not because of caffeine, it was insomnia. I couldn't stop thinking about coffee. I need a nap. [snores and then wakes up] Coffee time!

Bender

[Gets cigar out] Ah, mighty fine smokable...

Fry

Fancy cigar. Why don't you smoke it already? Puff, puff, go, go, go, go, go!

Hey, I'm Ranger Park, the park ranger.

Fry

[cheerfully] I get it!

Now since this area's a national Bigfoot preserve, we'll start with a short film about Bigfoot while I make a few phone calls.