[first lines]
[mocking golf announcer] A hush comes over the crowd. The only sound as Bender calling everyone else a jerk as he swings! [hits the golf ball] Oh, he slices into the water! [the golf ball lands into the water]
“The Sting” · Season 4
In this episode: Turanga Leela (6), Bender (5), Professor Hubert Farnsworth (4), Hermes Conrad (3), Philip J. Fry (2), LaBarbara Conrad (1)
These bees are larger than most Buicks, and twice as ugly.
Larger than an American sedan? How big is the honeycomb?
Honeycomb's big, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's not small?
No, no, no.
Burn on that old crew! The only things they did better than us were suck and die.
[after Fry's apparent death] Oh, who will make Bender waffles just the way he likes them now?
[crying] It's all my fault! He died because of me!
[comforting] No, no, no, no, no, no. [shouting to Bender] I'm lying to make her feel better!
[Leela cries harder.]
[At Fry's funeral, Hermes lights a piece of paper up and puts it on Fry's coffin]
LCLaBarabra Conrad
Husband, can't you go anywhere without lighting something up?
It's an old Jamaican accounting tradition: we burn his timecard. That way, his zombie doesn't come back looking for his final pay check.
Father Changstein-El-Gamal: I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him.
Soothe us with sweet lies.
FCFather Changstein
It may comfort you to know that Fry's death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels.
[Everyone gasps]
All those times I said "Kill all humans," I'd always whisper "except one". Fry was that one. [sobbing] And I never told him so!
That proves it! Fry is alive somewhere and he's reaching me in my dreams!
Bull-pies!
[Is lying on a table her head lying in a box] Is this some sort of brain scanner?
Some sort, yes. In France, it's called a guillotine! [Pulls a lever]
AAGH!!! [Gets off the table just as the knife flies down and slices the box in half] Professor! Can't you examine my brain without removing it?
Yes...very easily. [waves a device over Leela's head]
Maybe I am freaking out a little.
A little? You're screwier than my Aunt Rita. And she's a screw!
Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?
I'll find Fry's coffin, get his corpse, and keep it under my mattress to remind me that he's really dead. That'll prove I'm not insane!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.