Philip J. Fry quotes from Futurama

Fry

Bender, this has nothing to do with you.

Bender

That's impossible!

Fry

Pizza delivery for a Mr. Seymour Asses.

There's no one by that name here. Or anywhere. I hope that in time you realize what an idiot you've been.

Fry

I wouldn't count on that.

Leela

Acting like a moron won't solve anything.

Fry

Then all hope is lost!

Bender

Fry, what's wrong?

Fry

Think about it: Seymour lived a full life after I was gone... He probably even added new songs to his repertoire.

Bender

But that's a good thing. "Walkin' On Sunshine" sucks noodles.

Fry

I had Seymour 'till he was three. That's when I knew him, and that's when I loved him... I'll never forget him...

Fry

But he forgot me a long, long time ago...

Al Gore

I have ridden the mighty moon worm!

Fry

Good for him!

Al Gore

My fellow Earthicans, as I discuss in my book "Earth in the Balance," and the much more popular "Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth," we need to defend our planet against pollution. As well as dark wizards.

Sure, blame the wizards!

Fry

Oh, my God! It's out of ice, like some outer space Motel 6!

Leela

Completely out of ice?

Bender

This could mean the end of the banana daiquiri as we know it! Also, life.

Bender

Yo, Captain Catarats. Why are we stopping here?

Professor Farnsworth

It's almost 2:30. Just in time for the early bird dinner special.

Fry

What about your gargoyle?

Professor Farnsworth

My wha?

So this is the famous Fry. What is he, like, the biggest loser on the surface so he has to hang out in the sewer?

Fry

They're onto me.

Fry

We miss the turn. We'll never catch up.

Leela

Yes we will. This pipe goes under Planet Express, and it's 9:00 PM.

Professor Farnsworth

The devil take this predictable colon!

Fry

Bye Leela. I'll come visit you when I'm all grown up.

Leela

[whispering] Bring beer.

Morris

No beer until you finish your tequila!

Fry

But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop.

Nibbler

Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers.

Nibbler

And that past nastification is what shields you from the brains. You are the last hope of the universe.

Fry

So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?

Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock.

Leela

We're back from the mission!

Fry

Wh-What? You went without me?

Bender

You were looking up curse words in the dictionary. It seemed like a better use of your time.

Fry

But-- But I'm the delivery boy.

Leela

Don't worry. Everything went fine.

Bender

Better than usual!

Leela

We got medals!

Nibbler

Do you remember some months ago when the Earth was under attack by flying brains?

Fry

Hmmm. I remember the square-dancing stomachs, but that might have been a Mylanta commercial.

Nibbler

Well now it's your choice. Is there nothing in the future worth saving?

Fry

Hm. Leela. But she doesn't think much of me.

Nibbler

Ah, she must be The Other.

Fry

What?

Nibbler

You must not give up on her. I am stationed on a distant world known as Vergon 6. But, if you return to the future, I will transfer to Earth to give you what help I can.

Fry

You really think I would have had a chance with Leela?

Nibbler

You must choose: The present or the future? To save yourself or to save Leela.

...One!