A cake gets messed up. A Quiznos bathroom gets messed up. You destroyed a galaxy, mother.
S13The Nova Centauris-burgh Board of Tourism Presents: American Dad
[detailing the Swedish fish in the tank] Their usual habitat is a bag at 7-Eleven.
[regarding "Star Wars"] Like hello, know your audience. More farming please.
S13Daesong Heavy Industries
[attempting to explain how Adam & Eve's son has a wife] Steve, guys like Cain always end up with the girl. Scratch that, still makes no sense. Uh, um, might have to come back to that one.
No, Dad, crazy baloney is real. It's called pepperoni.
[Stan regains his religion after Steve proves a ship as large as the hypothetical Noah's ark actually does exist]
[happily] Stan, you're back!
Of course I am, and better than ever. [the family laughs as Stan poses in victory] I was hopeless for so long, but now I can see that God was only testing the strength of my faith.
[embracing him] And you passed the test.
I did, so he revealed to me, though his instrument Steve, the location of the new ark.
[realizing what is about to come] Oh, no.
Francine (consoling Stan): Yeah, you don't have to take that. I know! Let's go home and you take a bunch of anti-psychotic medication. That'll show 'em.
[outside in the rain] Look out, world, God and Stan are back together again!
[from inside of the house] It's not official 'til you change your Facebook status!
[Stan dumps Klaus overboard from the "Ark" into the water]
[as he falls] You dipshit, there are fucking sharks in there!
S13Daesong Heavy Industries II: Return to Innocence
Did everyone else deserve to drown? Grumpy Cat? The Muppets? You're telling me Daniel Tosh has to die but I get to live?
Jeff, do you know why you're shouting?!
'Cause of that damn helicopter!
I once survived four days in a Del Taco parking lot extracting life-saving nutrients from puddles and bird shit.
Why didn't you just go into the Del Taco?
I'm a Taco Bell man.
NNarrator
Flute Island? More like Blue Ball Island.
NNarrator
I am rock hard.
Your boobs are out.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.