GSGordon Salt executive
I respect the sexual frustration behind your decision.
S13Mine Struggle
Okay, you're making me look bad, Steve, 'cause after you called me a sucker, I definitely threw you in the pool, 'cause I don't take that shit.
[as Roger directs Steve as he signs his cast]
Gotta leave room for Zachary and Ella. I'm gonna have 'em sign next to each other 'cause then when I break them up, Ella's gonna cry every time she sees my cast, and I'm gonna love it 'cause she was such a bitch to me at the lockers last week.
I know this is all made up.
Some of it.
TTeacher
Nice try, Steve, but us adults stick together. (slaps Steve across the face)
S13Garfield and Friends
Take a load off, Garfield. I'm Klaus, I'm kind of a favorite around here.
I don't need a Deep Throat.
I bought the jacket. We're doing this.
[explaining a television at the Treasury] That's a movie. That's where tweens go to get fingered.
PGPresident Garfield
I saw a Polynesian!
I was supposed to be on that bus, but there was a lady with a chicken on there. What is this, like, Guatemala? What the hell? Leave your bird at home, lady.
Cum laude, cum REAL laude.
[serving detention while Lewis takes a bath] Um, is detention over? It's been an hour.
Fine, get back to class. But no more pointing out errors in the textbooks. You'll remember the Alambo and you'll like it.
Stan said something like [imitating Stan] "I'm gonna turn him back into proteins."
What!?
Yeah, and then he said [imitating Stan] "Are you even listening to me, Francine? I'm worried about us. I feel like we've been drifting apart." [giggles] I'm getting better at his voice, right?
Did you paint a shadow on your face?
I was dressed up in blackface earlier. You're not the only one with stuff going on. Looks like you finally figured out the story.
No I didn't! I have no idea what's happening!
You WERE the story, Steve. You used all your pent-up sexual frustration to turn out the most elegant pornography this school has ever seen, but when you finally saw a little skin, it was too much for you, and you experienced what medical experts refer to as an ejacufaint. That's when 100% of your blood is in your wiener. You're lucky to be alive, Steve, and that's the real headline.
S13Gifted Me Liberty
When I joined the CIA, I knew the deal. If we make a mistake, we cover it up. Like the time Dick accidentally created feline AIDS and we covered it up by blaming it on gay cats.
The torture variety pack is tempting. Heretic's fork, metal spanker, anal tarring brush...
JJackson
It's a barbecue set.
...but who needs two of anything?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.