[on putting a Trans Am engine in a power washer] I souped it up with a little alien tech. By alien, I mean "Detroit". (to the audience, as patriotic music plays): Let's turn this country around. Let's make things again.
“Mine Struggle” · Season 13
In this episode: Roger (6), Stan Smith (4), Steve Smith (3), Francine Smith (2), Klaus (2)
I'm trying to get 20 years of crap off the patio.
Is Brett Ratner's career on the patio?
Not used to holding a tool with that kind of power, Stan? I'm kidding. I've seen yours while you were sleeping. It's great.
BBoth
Oh...my...God.
Jinx! Now you can't talk until I say your name, Stan! [realizes] Ah, dammit!
White, dusty oil?
Lawn dandruff?
A third ridiculous guess?
[knowingly] I think I know what this is.
Yep, that's salt. It's a salt deposit. [he looks at the shocked expressions of the family] Oh my God! Did you guys think it was cocaine? Cocaine doesn't grow underground, dumb-asses. You gotta make that shit! With blood and sweat. And a little bit of salt. You got to cut it with salt to hit your margins. So I guess we have 1% of cocaine here.
Hear that? I'm gonna have a big, veiny shaft!
Are they salt executives or genies?
[Young Steve admires the rocks holding his last treasure clue]
There's so shiny!
So Hayley's forehead, but you wouldn't call that a treasure.
[regarding Steve's mineral rights deed] Yep, it's official. And if anyone knows what's official, it's a fish, y'all!
GSGordon Salt executive
I respect the sexual frustration behind your decision.
Okay, you're making me look bad, Steve, 'cause after you called me a sucker, I definitely threw you in the pool, 'cause I don't take that shit.
[as Roger directs Steve as he signs his cast]
Gotta leave room for Zachary and Ella. I'm gonna have 'em sign next to each other 'cause then when I break them up, Ella's gonna cry every time she sees my cast, and I'm gonna love it 'cause she was such a bitch to me at the lockers last week.
I know this is all made up.
Some of it.
TTeacher
Nice try, Steve, but us adults stick together. (slaps Steve across the face)
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