“A Milhouse Divided” · Season 8
In this episode: Homer Simpson (2), Kirk Van Houten (2), Bart Simpson (1), Milhouse Van Houten (1), Nelson Muntz (1), Kearney Zzyzwicz (1)
Hey, Van Houten, I heard your folks broke up.
Aren't you gonna say, "Ha-ha"?
Oh, by no means. [sits down]: My dad left my mom after she got hooked on cough drops. By the end [voice breaks], her breath was so fresh...she wasn't really my mother anymore.
Oh, so I guess I'm not alone.
Ah, you'll do fine. My divorce was tough on my kid [slides over and reveals a child who bears a strong resemblance to Kearney], but he got over it.
I sleep in a drawer.
Singles life is great, Homer. I can do whatever I want. Today I drank a beer in the bathroom.
The one down the hall.
Yeah! And another great thing, you get your own bed. I sleep in a racing car, do you?
I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
Oh. Yeah.
You're letting me go?
Kirk, crackers are a family food - happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without.
So that's it, after twenty years, "So long, good luck?"
I don't recall saying, "Good luck."
[Homer is taking a bath until Bart comes in and hits him with a chair]
[screams] Ow! Ow Duh-ow! What the hell is wrong with you?!
Jeez, sorry. It's a pretty standard stunt, Homer.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
