The Loud House · Season 1
[using a tray to shield himself from Luna firing ketchup and mustard as he approaches her and swipes the bottles out of her own hands] Folks, cut it out!
[takes a plate of another food out of Luan's hand] You're acting like children! Which I know you technically are, but still!
[shocked at his favorite restaurant's messy appearance from the siblings' food fight] My favorite restaurant! My livelihood! [to his kids; upset] I can't believe you kids! [then turns to Kotaro and Grant; sharped] And you, Kotaro and Grant, I need to expect this behavior from my own children, but not from you!
What?
[covers both of their mouths] You know what? You can forget about winning Employee of the Month, for now! [takes off his cooking hat as he tries to storm off to the kitchen] Neither of you deserve it!
[Kotaro and Grant try to sulk]
Wait, Dad, this is our own fault. Grant and Kotaro were only breaking up our own food fight.
Yeah. The five of us got so caught up in trying to win Employee of the Month, and we lost another control.
[gasps in realization] That's what you folks have been up to a few days? Trying to win that award?
[sighs as he and four of his own favorite sisters nod their heads yes in guilt] Yes, but we definitely don't deserve it.
But Grant and Kotaro do!
STOP! If I keep this up, I'm going to need a coffin for real.
Well, if you're not gonna work for us anymore, we want our money back!
Yeah!
Figure it out, Lincoln!
[groans] You guys are right. I never should have borrowed money that I couldn't pay back. [looks at his David Steele action figure, sadly] I know what I have to do.
[to his farm animals] Aww, I'm sorry, gang. I wish y'all could be inside with us too, but we're tryin' to fit in, and these folks ain't the farm animal type. [the horse blows raspberry at him] Yeah, I deserve that. Look, I know this won't make it up to y'all, but I brought somethin' for everyone. [holds up a plate of party food, opens the gate, and places it inside the pen, then walks away, but forgot to close the gate]
[dashing through the halls, stops and takes a breath; to the viewers] It's finally here! [points to a sign reading: "SPAGHETTI DAY! FRIDAY"] Spaghetti day! It only happens once a month and everybody goes wild for it, which is why I need to get a good spot in line.
[takes the first bite of his spaghetti and notices something off, his face turns red after he swallows] Uh, does this marinara sauce taste different to anyone?
[realizes] Wait, yeah. Something is off. And that something is… spicy?! [his face also turns red, and so does Rusty] Ah! Very spicy! Why is it so spicy?!
[blasting steam out of his ears] Hoowie. I can feel it, y'all!
[lifts up his shirt as his stomach growls] The beast is angry!
Let me get this straight. You set up this whole thing just to test us for an elective class you're teaching?
Yup.
[sits down on the floor] Uh, I think I need to lie down. [lies down]
Buckle up, you have ten more weeks of this. And I've got some doozies planned. [the Action News Team groan and pass out] Oh, uh, word of advice, don't eat the meatloaf tomorrow.
[Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet; the Action News Team and Gus sit at a table after Mr. Grouse sings his karaoke]
Okay, Gus. Toddler tiptoe number two: Performing for real people.
[nervously] Yeah, I--I don't think I'm ready for karaoke, you guys.
Relax. It's all-you-can-eat crepe taco night. Nobody will even notice you up there on stage.
[The Loud family is setting up decorations around the house to welcome Lori back, who's taking a gap year from Fairway University]
[to the viewers] It's a big day in the Loud House. Lori's taking a gap year from college and moving back home while she decides to remember if golf is really the future. Which is awesome because Lori's always kinda been the glue that holds us together. Even Mr. Grouse is psyched.
Hey, Louds! I found these old clubs while cleaning out my garage. Maybe Lori can help me practice my swing.
[Lincoln gathers his sisters (minus Lori) in his room for a meeting]
This is terrible!
The worst!
It stinks!
We just got Lori back. We can't lose her again so fast. There has to be some way to get her to stay.
We can lock her in a coffin in the basement.
Or use the numbing properties of jellyfish venom to incapacitate her. [accidentally drops the venom on her left foot, causing her to collapse on the floor due to her leg getting numbed]
Wait, Lori said she was gonna find a realtor. But what if we find her a realtor who only shows her the worst possible places to live?
How are we supposed to pull that off?
[weeping] Let's face it, this living situation is so not working out. But there are, like, zero apartments avail. Maybe taking a gap year was a mistake. [sniffles sadly, then notices all her siblings looking guilty and groan nervously; confused] Why is everyone exchanging guilty looks?
Lori, there's something we need to tell you. This is all our fault. Sunny Holmes isn't real. She's Luan.
[Luan puts on her Sunny Holmes wig and chuckles sheepishly]
[yelling in strong fury; Lily tumbles off the sofa like a tumbleweed] WH-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-T?! [angrily grabs Lincoln by the collar and pulls him up to her face; demanding] Explain, now!
We were so excited when we thought you were moving back, and we didn't want to lose you again. So we sabotaged your apartment hunt. We're really sorry.
[sighs as she calmly puts her brother down] Classic. I should have known.
Oh, don't blame yourself. I gave an extremely realistic performance. In fact, I just sold Cheryl and Meryl a lakefront vacation house.
I guess we didn't realize how hard it would be for you to live at home again. Please don't give up on Royal Woods. New plan: We'll find you a legit realtor. Right, guys?
[to the viewers] It's the potluck at Sunset Canyon, which I love, because they always serve my favorite meal: One of everything!
How long?
Ooh, lots of weekends!
[walking over] It's potluck night. Why don't you folks need to have plates full of foods?
We're not eating foods here until accidents happen.
[off-screen] Dessert!
Greetings, food truckers! I just replaced two stoves and a fridge at Lynn's Table, and I thought you folks might just use the other old things. [comes out of the van] You know, as an entrepreneur myself, I can tell you that running your own business is very rewarding. But it requires a lot of hard work, patience, and compromise.
Oh, I'm not worried. Clyde and I are always...
In sync. [they react in surprise, then laugh and fist bump]
Our school's having a film festival, so Clyde and I are submitting a movie. This movie.
Pfft. Big whoop. I've jumped out of planes before.
You mean the one on the playground?
Shut it, Trent!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Loud House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
