The Loud House Season 1 quotes

Loud, your movie changed my life! [dips some pizza sticks on Lincoln's tray] Have some extra pizza sticks.

Lincoln, why did you lie to everyone? I have hives for you.

What? It wasn't completely lying. I did the bounce house stunt.

You almost fell off the roof. Lynn jumped from a plane onto another plane. It's not the same!

[sighs] I know and I'm sorry. I just got caught up in the moment. No one has ever looked at me like that before. And look at all these pizza sticks. [munches on one] You remember when I was voted "most likely to trip over nothing?" Being cool like this is new for me. Maybe we could just go with it for a while?

Okay, everyone, pop quiz time! [Lincoln and all the other students groan] Everyone except Loud. You already got an A for this semester! That was some movie. Let's go hang in the teacher's lounge and swap broken bone stories, huh?

Okay!

Today, we're running sprints, a lot of 'em. [The students all groan] The puke cans in this corner, except Loud. He's practically a pro athlete. You can chill in my coach cave and enjoy the talents of my masseuse, Hans.

Thanks, but I'll just read comics.

Being a celebrity's awesome! So far, I see no downside.

[reading] "Lincoln LAMEsauce is a LIAR. Hosted by Chandler. Come see the PROOF! Screening in the lunchroom!" Oh, no!

We have to make sure no one sees that clip! [gets on the computer, opens up Chandler's files, and trashes the two documents of his and Clyde's movie and the clip of Lynn as his stunt double; relieved] Okay, I deleted everything. [then finds something else on the computer] Whoa, Clyde, look what else I found. [he and Clyde look at each other and snicker deviously, planning to get Chandler back]

Lynn Sr.

[inhales deeply and sighs] Smell that beautiful lake air, son?

[inhales deeply, then gags] Ugh. It smells really… [gets hit by a swinging fish and lands on the dock with his back before Lynn Sr. helps him get back up] Fishy.

[also showing up] Louds!

Louds!

Louds! I'm so excited to catch some fish and family bonding on this trip! [hugs his adult sons and grandsons tightly]

Lynn Sr.

Us too! [kneels down to Lincoln and Shiloh along with his brother] You know, boys, when Lance and I were kiddos, Gramps was always out at sea, earning a living. We never went on fishing trips.

But now I get to make up for lost time. I'm just so… [starts to sob] Ding-dang, happy to have you all back in my life.

Now that you passed the physical test, it's time for the mental one. Your challenge is to remain silent for the rest of the day. Now, according to the rules of "The Official Mime Code Book…" [lifts up an imaginary codebook] Benny, a little help? [Benny walks up; places the "book" on his back] That means, no texting, writing, or communicating in any form other than mime.

Luan! I need to practice my hairstyling on someone for the Little Miss Safety Scissors Pageant. What do you say? [Luan reacts in horror and tries to mime in denial by rubbing her hair and clutching her ponytail; misunderstanding] You're saying your ponytail is outdated and you need a new hairdo? Couldn't agree more. Let's go!

Hey-o! I need someone to help me with the deadlift set before my pre-workout wears off. Can one of you spot me?

Actually, you can spot me...leaving this conversation. [walks off]

How 'bout it, Luan? [Luan shows her arm muscle drooping, trying to mime in denial; misunderstanding] You need to build up those noodle arms? Ah, couldn't agree more. Let's do this!

Rita

[offscreen] Kids, anyone want to join me at the mall? [Rita is shown holding Lily while Luan peeks out under of a table while hiding] Gotta make a few returns. [the other siblings for a fight cloud dash down and exit the house and Rita takes Lily off on his head and serveal bags] I'll take that as a yes. [notices] Lynn, please put Vanzilla down! [leaves the house, closing the front door, leaving Luan all alone] Oh.

Mr. Loud! Fish Lady Deb here! Listen, we've got a crustacean situation. I just found out the lobster I sold you this morning went bad sometime over the Long Island Sound. It's just so hard to tell, y'know? It all smells like fish! Anywhoose, make sure nobody eats that lobster, if you're catching my drift. Vomit face emoji.

Luan

[speaking out loud] MRS. B! DON'T EAT THAT LOBSTER! IT'S BECOME A BAD THING BEFORE!!!

Lynn Sr.

[gasps] Huh? [smells the lobster and retches]

[shocked] Luan, do you know what you've just done?!

Luan

[sighs in disappointment, thinking she ruined her dream of being on the varsity mime team] Yes, I spoke. I broke the cardinal rule of miming, and now I'm breaking it again by telling you about it. I guess I'm not cut out for the Varsity Team. [she tears up and starts crying a fountain of tears]

[Caring] Dear sweet baby child, what are you talking about? [Luan stops crying with tears on her face and snot from her nose] Let me read you something from the mime codebook. [places the imaginary codebook on the table] Lucky for you, I never leave home without it. [opens the imaginary codebook. Luan watches nervously] Alright, let's see... Ah, here it is: "Mimes are to remain silent at all times... Unless another person is put in harm's way"! Luan, you did follow the rules! You spoke to save me! You're a hero! And definitely worthy of this... [she reveals a varsity beret and places it on Luan's head, and the mime angels surround her; Luan is awestruck] Your varsity beret!

Luan

[Proud of herself for being accepted on the varsity mime team] I'm on the team?

Of course!

Lynn Sr.

[hugs her daughter] I'm so proud of you, kiddo!

[sulking] And thus the nightmare begins.

[to Lucy] So, the bad news is you failed the test. The good news is, I'll let you try again tomorrow. The other bad news is, that's your last shot. If you blow it, you don't pass the fourth grade. But hey, look on the bright side… I could be your gym teacher for the rest of your life!

48, 49… [accidentally swallows his whistle]

I'm mortified. How did all of you pass the exam and not me?

All I can say is thank goodness for those SS Fun Time samba classes.

And Boris is aerodynamic because of his hollow bones.

Haiku

There must be some way to help you pass, Lucy. What about your sister, Lynn? Isn't she…"sporty?"

Too sporty, I'm afraid. She'd make me do torturous things, like… sit-ups. No, I need something fast and easy. And that means doing what the Morticians Club does best.

Magic!

Morpheus

Complaining.

Both answers are valid, but I meant magic.

[gazing at Persephone's spellbook; amazed] Ooh! I'm lovin' your new spellbook, Persephone. Nothing like real dragon leather.

A birthday gift from my parents. It came in the Sassy Sorceress kit.

This next plan should be foolproof. If I make you older, you won't be in fourth grade. Hence, you won't have to take the test. [twirls her wand, casting a magical energy ray onto Lucy; however, it instead turns her into an infant, to the Mortician's horror]

Waah.

Whoops, wrong direction. [tries again, but this time, Lucy is changed into an old woman, from her earlier vision] Whoops, too far. [tries to change her again but she stops her]

I have to pee before you change me back. [slowly walks out of her room to the bathroom] Can't hold it like I used to.