Dorothy Zbornak quotes from The Golden Girls

Dorothy

[on why the girls made up on their return flight] There was nothing else we could do. It was either that or watch Three Amigos! with a headset.

Dorothy

Ernie, listen to me and listen good. If you walk out that door right now, you can forget about ever coming back. I sound like I'm on Ryan's Hope.

Dorothy

[sees Vincenzo's elderly crew working on the guestroom] Looks like the road company of Cocoon.

Dorothy

[to Rose, on the fantasy that Bob Hope is her father] I don't know whether to cry or commit you!

Dorothy

[enters kitchen and sees various plates of food laid out in front of Blanche on the table] Hungry or suicidal?

Dorothy

Rose, you're bringing down the curve for the whole country!

Dorothy

Oh, I can't believe, you know, the last words I said to her were "Shut up, Zulu"!

Dorothy

[about how Stan's changed] This is not the same man who screamed "Paint my toenails, we've invaded Korea!"

Dorothy

[to Jimmy] Wait a minute. You're not old. You're not ill. You're no slave to fashion.

Dorothy

...and I think I'm really making progress with Jimmy, although I think I could make more if Ma would stop yelling 'boo'.

Dorothy

[signing Kevin's cast] We'll just change this to Miss Zbornak eats shit-ake mushrooms.

Dorothy

I'm her daughter, Dorothy. You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying.

Dorothy

Rose, did I mention I cry every Thursday? [looks at watch] At 8:05. [voice breaking] Excuse me! [she leaves the kitchen]

Dorothy

We just have to remember, it's not the clothes that make the man; it's the man who makes the clothes ... Oh God, he looks like he died in a Benny Hill sketch!

Dorothy

Seems like I'm always mad at my brother Phil. I was mad the day my parents brought him back from the hospital. I thought he'd take their love away from me, and instead their love expanded and we felt more like a family. I was mad at him when I was ten and he was four, and we moved to a new neighborhood. I was mad because he always made new friends more easily than I did. And I'm mad today, because I never wanted to give the eulogy at my kid brother's funeral. I'm mad because he died, he didn't have the wisdom to know that family members shouldn't allow themselves to grow apart, because when this day comes, they can no longer tell each other how much they care. If he'd had that wisdom, he could've shared it with me and I would've known the hundreds of memories I have of just the two of us, eating ice cream on the stoop of our building, or going through the drawers at Grandma's house, or dressing up like the Bronte sisters. How those memories fill me with joy! Why didn't you have that wisdom, Phil? Why didn't you give us a chance to tell you how much we loved you?