Angela quotes from The Golden Girls

Sophia

[first seeing her sister] Angela?

No, Gina Lollobrigida.

Dorothy

Won't you try to work it out? Do it for your favorite niece.

What's your cousin Graziella got to do with this?

Sophia

If you didn't come here to apologize, why don't you leave?

Why should I apologize?

Sophia

I'll tell you why, because you're nothing but a back-stabbing Judas in sensible shoes!

Oh, yeah? Well, you know what you are? You're a two-lire tramp with cheap bridgework!

Sophia

May you put your dentures in upside down and chew your head off!

May your legs grow old and gnarled and withered like an olive branch... [looking at Sophia's legs] you should be so lucky.

Sophia

May your moles grow hair thicker than Jerry Vale's!

May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!

Sophia

Oooooh [biting her own fist], that's it! Come back here and say that to my face!

Dorothy

[sees Angela at the door] Aunt Angela!

No, Sophia Loren. I stopped using Oil of Olay.

Sophia

Everything I have, you try to steal. May the bags under your eyes grow so large your head falls in 'em!

May your shampoo get mixed up with your Preparation H and shrink your head to the size of a mushroom!!

Dorothy

Uhh, Aunt Angela? Where did you get this chicken?

The garage.

Blanche

I guess this means no live entertainment with dessert.

Rose

Now I know no one wants to hear one of my stories right now...

Dorothy

That's usually a pretty safe bet, Rose.

Rose

...but you need to know about my cousin Ingmar. Ingmar was different. He used to do bird imitations.

Blanche

Well, what's wrong with that?

Rose

Well, let's just say you didn't want to park your car under their oak tree. No, Ingmar was different. His mother used to say he brought shame to the House of Hausenfeffershtuledunker. Anyway, you're all wondering where this story is going. So I'll skip the part where he ran up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs...

Dorothy

Rose, you're not skipping!

Rose

Sorry. The point is, it was shame that kept Aunt Katrina from loving slow Ingmar. And it ruined her life. Oh, don't let that happen to you, Sophia. Let go of the shame. So what if he was different? It's okay that you loved him.

Sophia

[in tears] I did love him. He was my son. My little boy. But every time I saw him, I always wondered what I did, what I said, when was the day that I did whatever I did to make him the way he was.

What he was, Sophia, was a good man.

Sophia

[breaking down] My baby is gone!

Oh, Sophia... [She and Sophia embrace as the episode ends]