Stop being so vain. You can't stay forty two forever.
Yes you can. If you eat right, exercise, and live with women who look A LOT OLDER THAN YOU.
Tell me something Rose, is "Kill the Bitch" a traditional St. Olaf party game?
“Snap Out of It” · Season 6, Episode 4
In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (6), Sophia Petrillo (3), Blanche Devereaux (2), Rose Nylund (2)
[before going in to a Meals-on-Wheels customer's aparment] This is Mrs. Taylor. You'll get along with her just fine. Two things. One, compliment her cat, and two, Jews control the planet.
Got it.
[steps in] Oh hi, Fluffy, looking good!
[Dorothy delivers a meal on wheels to a hippie shut-in]
JJimmy
Well, I'm hungry. And I'm on the list. And who do you think you are?
Sergeant Zbornak, food police. Now look, I don't want any trouble, now just hand over that turkey loaf.
JJimmy
No, you can't, I need this food, except for the carrot raisin salad. I never understood carrot raisin salad.
[to Jimmy] Wait a minute. You're not old. You're not ill. You're no slave to fashion.
...and I think I'm really making progress with Jimmy, although I think I could make more if Ma would stop yelling 'boo'.
You know, Sophia, this birthday thing kinda has me depressed as well. You think you could help me, too?
Sure. No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: You're old, you sag, get over it.
Sophia!
So what if you knew Jesus personally? Wake up and smell the coffee, you fossil.
My mistake. I thought since you looked like Yoda you were also wise.
[beginning a St. Olaf story] We had a gigantic black hole back in St. Olaf.
Oh God!
On Main Street, right in front of the courthouse where Charlie and I got our marriage license and our permit to have kids. Oh my, it was a lovely hole. Everybody in town would stand around it and look in.
and they say Hollywood is the Entertainment Capital of the World.
Well we didn't just look, sometimes we'd point too, or spit and time it.
whimpering. She buries her head in her palm.
Then there was always that wise guy who'd have a few drinks and unzip himself.
It's official. I hate her.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.