Blanche Devereaux quotes from The Golden Girls

Blanche

We're going to New York for the honeymoon. I just hope I don't get murdered.

Blanche

I wish I hired a decorator...Nancy Reagan's decorator. That'd kill my sister!

Blanche

I need both of my kidneys. You know what'll happen if I give her one? My ankles'll swell, my eyes'll puff up. I'll look just like the Pillsbury Doughboy!

Blanche

[introducing herself to Dr. Clayton] My name is Blanche Devereaux. That's French for... Blanche Devereaux.

Blanche

Oh, we've practiced enough! Every morning before work, every evening after work... all I ever wanted was to look cute in my bowling outfit.

Blanche

Well, this is not the end, I can promise you that. Justice will be done here! I hate criminals. I just hate 'em! Someone's gonna pay for this heinous crime! We're gonna have a good, old-fashioned hangin'! That's right, a hangin'! Only first we'll have a whippin', and then we'll have a hangin'! Nobody takes my mama's jewels without swingin' for it! Nighty-night.

Blanche

My great-granddaddy always said, there are two things you never sell to a friend - a car and a slave - because if either one of 'em quits workin' you'll never hear the end of it. Of course, they hanged my great-granddaddy. He said a lot of things he shouldn't have.

Blanche

[on the car she was planning to sell Rose] It's the noisiest thing to come out of Detroit since Martha & The Vandellas.

Blanche

But how can I say no to the man I love? I can't even say no the men I like.

Blanche

[to Dorothy] You are undoubtedly the meanest sick person I've ever met! Not to mention the most unattractive.

Blanche

No one in my family has ever seen a psychiatrist... except of course, when they were institutionalized!

Blanche

[to Dorothy] Eat dirt and die, trash.

Blanche

I feel that you have backed me into a corner, and when I am backed into a corner, I come out fightin' like a wildcat. Unless I've had too much to drink, in which case I slide down the wall and make mad passionate love on the carpet.

Blanche

[on the phone] Hello? ... Dorothy isn't here. ... She was arrested on a morals charge this morning. ... I know, you just never know, do you? Have a nice day!

Blanche

I would do it [go undercover], but I'm afraid I might be too conspicuous. It's a dinner party and I plan to show cleavage!