[Mr. Krabs knocks on the front door to SpongeBob's house.]
SpongeBob! SpongeBob? SpongeBob? Are you okay in there? You catch the flu or something? Ugh. Are you at death's door? Because you know darn well they ain't valid excuses to miss work! [peeks through the window and finds to his shocking surprise that SpongeBob is slithering on the floor with his tongue like a snail; SpongeBob eats some food from Gary's food bowl] Ah! SpongeBob has gone full raving loony. [hears something] Uh-oh! [hides underground as Gary appears]
♪Meow—meow—meow—meow—meow—meow—meow. Meow—meow—meow—meow—meow—meow.♪ [enters the house]
[Mr. Krabs peeks through the window again. He sees SpongeBob rubbing his head against the chair while Gary's reading the paper. Gary pets SpongeBob and holds out a snail toy for him to play. SpongeBob plays the toy with his eye. Mr. Krabs gasps and drills himself inside through the floor.]
What in the name of Neptune's nostrils is going on in here?! SpongeBob, you're acting like you're the pet and that darn snail is the owner!
[hits Mr. Krabs with the toy] Meow! Meow—meow—meow.
[grabs the toy] Bad snail! Down boy! [gets attacked by SpongeBob] SpongeBob, what are you— [gets licked and pummeled by SpongeBob until he pushes him off and shakes him violently] Oh, snap out of it, SpongeBob!
[SpongeBob doesn't respond. Mr. Krabs pulls out a Krabby Patty, breaks it in half and puts it under SpongeBob's nose. SpongeBob smells the patty's scent and shakes himself back to normal, snapping himself out of the strange trance.]
Have you completely lost your mind, boy-o? Snails ain't supposed to have arms and legs.
Aww, but Gary is so happy with his new limbs.
[Gary files his new arms.]
Oh, is he? Well, it's time to cut this nonsense! [growls and goes to fight Gary] Ay! [growls at Gary viciously] Huh-hah! [leaps over to Gary and cuts the arms and legs, returning Gary back to his normal self]
[sniffs the severed limbs] Meow. [slithers over to his food bowl, removes SpongeBob's name and goes to eat his food]
Welcome, sea chimps. I'm SpongeBob, your owner.
SCSea chimp king
Forget it, man. We're through with owners, and kings, and aquariums. Whoa! Now that looks like a swell place to live.
[All the sea chimps run into the Chum Bucket. Karen comes out with banana peels all over her monitor.]
[screams] Plankton! Abandon bucket!
Well, that's a write off. [takes out a remote and pushes a button]
[The button activates the Chum Bucket's hand. The hand picks up the restaurant and spins it around and around. The hand throws the restaurant out into the distance with the sea chimps still inside.]
Bye, sea chimps! Have a good flight! It was so nice of you to help relocate the sea chimps, Plankton. You rule!
Not today, SpongeBob. Not today. [takes out his crown] But... someday! [puts it on and cackles evilly before Patrick swallows him and burps out the crown, as the episode transitions out]
GDGale Doppler
I'm in the middle of a severe thunderstorm— [gets hit by a stop sign] And we're bringing it to you li—
[Drizzle blows the microphone into his cloud body. Drizzle zaps Gale and flies right in his mouth and into his body. Gale is lifted in the air and he coughs up the microphone.]
GDGale Doppler
I'm Gale Doppler, and I actually am the weather! [laughs, but thunder rumbles in his body and rain falls; it appears that Drizzle is now taking control of Gale's body and is making him do what he what him to do] Huh? Uh-oh.
Uh-oh. [pulls his right leg and makes an umbrella]
[Drizzle floats Gale back into town and makes him blow wind everywhere. Drizzle then makes Gale's body freeze.]
GDGale Doppler
[shivering] My body is cold! [Drizzle makes Gale create a blanket of snow over the town] I don't want to be the weather anymore. It hurts! [Drizzle produces thunder and lightning in Gale's body, making him wail in pain]
[comes out through the roof of one of the buildings] Excuse me, Drizzle. I don't mean to parade on your rain, but could you please put Gale down? [a gust of wind blows him into the sky] Whoa!
[sighs as he walks into a kelp forest] Why won't anyone watch my trick?! [falls onto the ground while the word "trick" flies into the air, causing the leaves on the kelp trees to fall down onto SpongeBob] [SpongeBob gets up, covered with leaves. He slightly pulls his kelp mustache, and then sees two pieces of wood and a rock. A lightbulb appears on top of SpongeBob] Hey, that gives me an idea! [scene cuts to SpongeBob putting the final touches on his rock people] There. Good evening, folks, I am the Great Spongedini! Now watch closely, [reveals his cards] the hand is quicker than the eye. Pick a card. Any card. [SpongeBob inhales all the magic playing cards into his mouth, and then starts his magic trick.]
[The magic trick starts when the kelp forest turns into a white screen as SpongeBob turns into magic playing cards, which then transform into a buzzsaw and cut a copy of SpongeBob in-half, and then a rainbow appears. Then ten cut in half/rainbow-colored SpongeBobs, two green, two yellow, two pink, two red, and two blue, each holding one magic playing card start running out as the rainbow disappears. Then, two other SpongeBobs, one on the bottom of the screen, and the other on top of the screen being upside down, start leading a bunch of card people from the top, and the bottom of the screen. Then, two other card people start going over and under each other five times, becoming SpongeBob, and back to a playing card. Then the camera zooms out to see lots of card people on the screen, which then fade to SpongeBob. wearing a magician's outfit, a magic hat on top of his head, and a magic wand for a nose, which automatically makes some flowers come out of it, The Great Spongedini then takes the magic wand out of his nose and turns it into three metal rings, that are linked to each other. Then, The Great Spongedini puts himself through the rings, and then, the rings transform into a cannon that shoots out three colorful fireworks. One pink, one yellow, and one blue. Then, The Great Spongedini appears on the screen again, and then notices a red ribbon stuck through his left sleeve.]
GSThe Great Spongedini
Huh? [The Great Spongedini pulls the ribbon out of his left sleeve, but then reveals a red, blue, pink, green, and orange ribbon that covers the whole screen. Then the scene becomes spirally and gets put into a magic hat. Then, the white screen turns back to the kelp forest and SpongeBob pulls himself out of the magic hat in a pink bunny suit, ending his magic trick.]
Ta-dah! [notices that the audience he made was fake and didn't respond to his magic trick.] Oh... I still wish Patrick was here to see it. [then he notices Patrick sitting on a mushroom, hanging onto another mushroom]
[off-screen] I saw it, SpongeBob! [on-screen] It was astonishable! [Patrick falls of the mushroom and falls flat onto the ground, and pulls himself off the ground]
[hugging Patrick] Oh, Patrick! You showed up just in time! What was your favorite part?
Uh... My favorite part was... uh..."Ta-dah!" I missed everything before that.
Oh, then you haven't seen seen anything yet! [he grabs a hold of Patrick's hand. The two spin around and then they disappear into a magic hat. Some confetti and a card come out of the hat as the two laugh. Fireworks also start coming out of the hat, while the rock creatures stand inanimate]
Well, if it isn't my thieving husband. So did you bring me the— [sees Plankton's mouth full of hair; she picks it up and removes the hair from Plankton's mouth] Hair? [takes a sample of hair and throws the rest away] I only needed one.
Hee-hee-hee! You married a genius, Karen. Using the DNA of Krabs' hair and my own DNA from my antennae— [his right antenna gets snipped off by Karen] Ouch! [his antenna is placed in the machine] I will create a combo-clone of me and Krabs to finally steal the secret formula! [pulls up the lever and cackles]
[The machine turns itself on and fuses the hair sample and antenna sample together. The cloning machine turns on and creates a single being with Mr. Krabs' and Plankton's DNA together. The being turns into a blob and the machine turns off.]
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Behold PlanKrab! [The machine opens the door and the being steps out]
[The smoke clears to reveal the being. It appears to be a clone with Mr. Krabs' body and Plankton's head.]
PPlanKrab
Arr-arr-arr-arr-arr!
How is this a good thing?
Wake up, Karen! The Plankton side will know everything the Krabs side knows! It'll be easier than taking candy from a baby.
Mm, and we know how successful that was. [turns on the screen to show Plankton trying to steal a lollipop from a baby, but ends up getting sucked on]
This is different! Isn't it, PlanKrab, my pretty? Now, here's my plan.
PPlanKrab
Don't waste your breath, Plankteron. I already mapped out the perfect plot to swipe that formuler-ererer! [gives Plankton a high-five before leaving for the Krusty Krab]
Great! See you soon, P.K.! [sighs] I love that guy. Well, half of him anyway. [laughs until he coughs] Still got a hair in there.
SpongeBob, what is your stop, so I can take you there right now?!
[steps on other people's heads while heading to the driver seat] Oh, I don't have a stop. Today is my bus riding day, the day I just pick a bus and ride it all day. [lays on Squidward's head]
There's only one thing I can think of that could be worse. [screams as he sees Patrick waving at a bus stop] Augh! And that's it! [drives the bus to pass Patrick, which makes him drill himself into the sand] Phew. I dodged that one. Heh-heh. [sees Patrick at another bus stop; he turns the wheel and flips the bus over Patrick; he continues to drive] Phew. That was close.
[appears next to Squidward] It sure was. I almost didn't catch this bus.
[Squidward is completely overwhelmed and turns his head in anger.]
Eeeee... Patrick! Wow! We're both on the same bus on our Just Riding Around On The Bus Day! What are the odds?
[Squidward's eyes spin like a slot machine. His eyes stop with a laughing SpongeBob and Patrick on them.]
[The scene changes to the police lady arresting Squidward for breaking into the museum and vandalizing artwork. SpongeBob hangs up Squidward's painting on the wall.]
There! Back where you belong. [leaves]
[mumbles] It's beautiful!
You actually like that eyesore?
Why, it's the greatest painting I've ever seen... hanging in the museum! [laughs like a crazed maniac]
[creeped out by Squidward's crazed laughter] Okay, that's enough, weirdo. [takes Squidward away so she can turn him in for his crimes]
[Squidward's painting comes to life as its frown turns into a smile, thus ending the episode.]
[As SpongeBob actually makes it to the Krusty Krab on time as he is sleeping at the same time]
Right on time! [turns to another sponge named SpongeTom while Squidward groans in defeat] Looks like I won't be needing you after all, SpongeTom.
SSpongeTom
[throws his spatula onto the ground] D'oh! [stomps away]
[SpongeBob rolls into the restaurant and crashes into the register boat. SpongeBob flies into the kitchen and kicks a plank, knocking over a barrel.]
[half awake] Good morning...
It's Chip. [shows the word "chip" on her screen, then shows an old computer chip] He's named after my grandfather.
[Chip starts to cry.]
[groans] Great, here we go with the crying! Will you please hush that thing up?!
[Karen taps on Chip's buttons and Plankton groans angrily. Suddenly, Chip stops crying.]
There you go. All better.
Wow, how did you do that so fast?
Simple, I just typed 4-4-4-5 in his cute little keyboard.
[turns Chip upside-down and the numbers show the word, "Shhh" on it.] Shhh.
[groans and continues his work]
So, how was your talk with Chip?
Oh, it went great. He's a good boy.
Yeah, he wh— [notices Chip is missing] Where—where is he?
WHAT?! Why would my baby run away?
Because I told him to. [He rolls his eye] Duh.
[Karen screams in an uncontrollable rage. Her hands gather up green electricity and form into a green rolling pin and a green frying pan. Plankton screams in terror as Karen goes to hurt him. Karen throws the green rolling pin at Plankton, which turns into an electric trident and pins him to the wall.]
Karen, baby, let's be reasonable here!
[picks up the trident holding Plankton] You find our son and bring him home this instant or don't bother coming home! [her green frying pan turns into a spiked glove]
[screams as Karen flings him out of the Chum Bucket] I'm going! I'm going!
Hi, rock. I'm trying to enjoy a snack.
TTony
Hey, the name is Tony, not rock. And I think it's time for you to vamoose.
Huh? What's a vanmoose? [Patrick imagines a moose of a van.]
TTony
[chuckles] You're a few pickles short of a jar, ain't ya, kid? I'll make it simple. [knocks on his shell] This is my shell. I live here, you don't, so beat it!
Oh no! You can't fool me! This is my rock, and I'm not leaving! [pulls out glue and glues himself on Tony's shell. Tony tries to get Patrick off of him, but gives up.]
TTony
Alright, you daba dose. Stay up there if you want. I've got places to be.
