Good morning, pineapple! [plays the bugle to wake Gary up] Good morning, Gary! [pats Gary's shell]
Snelly's a purebred.
Wow, a snail made out of bread.
“The Great Snail Race” · Season 3
In this episode: Abrasive SpongeBob (3), Squidward (3), Patrick (2), Sandy (2), Gary (1)
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? [Gary imagines himself watching TV] No, no, no! I'm thinking about entering you in that race and beating Squidward's snail! [SpongeBob runs off. He then returns, wearing a coach's outfit] Looks like we're going to start our training now, ladies! [laughs] I call you a lady to humiliate and demean you. It's a motivational tool we coaches use.
[Scene cuts to Sandy walking down the street; she stops and hears what SpongeBob said]
Hmm... I don't know why, but I think I'll kick SpongeBob's butt tomorrow.
AAnnouncer
Oh, looks like number 7 has a blowout! [Gary's other eye explodes] Oops, make that two, folks.
Uhh, Gary?
[Gary's shell breaks, showing a machine inside]
AAnnouncer
: Plus, a blown head gasket! Oh, and the poor creature's still going for it.
[getting worried] Umm, Gary, you can stop now!
[Gary is leaving skid marks on the track]
AAnnouncer
He's losing control!
[Gary is running into the walls, making a bunch of sparks]
You can take a break now if you want to, Gary!
[Gary is spinning on the track]
AAnnouncer
He's spinning out of control! [crowd gasps] He's heading straight for the wall!
[Gary runs into a wall of tires and explodes. The crowd gasps again, then they cheer]
No! [two firemen come up and extinguish the smoke. Squidward laughs] Hold on, Gary, I'm coming! [runs onto the track]
AAnnouncer
Whoa. One of the coaches seems to have raced onto the track. That is an automatic disqualification. Looks like number six has this race all wrapped up, ladies and gentlemen.
[Snellie is coming up on the finish line]
Come on, Snellie, it's all you, baby!
[runs up to Gary, crying] Oh, Gary, I'm sorry! Why didn't you just say I was pushing it too hard?!?!
Meow.
You did? [cries more] Oh, Gary, why didn't you tell me I wasn't listening?!
Meow.
You did? [cries some more] Oh, Gary! Oh, Gary!
I can't believe it. My purebred, which cost me $1,700, lost to a rock. [Patrick walks over with the trophy he won]
Don't worry, Squidward, I know how much you wanted to win, so I had the trophy engraved to you.
Gosh, Patrick, thanks. [reads the engraving] The 1st Place Snail Racing Cup Presented to Squidward... [we see the engraving and the camera zooms in on Squidward's misspelled last name] ...TORTELLINI?! Will I ever win?
[He, SpongeBob, and Patrick laugh. Suddenly, Sandy comes on-screen and kicks SpongeBob in the air. He and Patrick stop laughing]
[angrily] That's for yesterday, SquarePants!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.