A character in SpongeBob SquarePants
Played by Tom Kenny
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
10th most-quoted character in SpongeBob SquarePants: in 30 of its 1,068 quotes
Most scenes with: Abrasive SpongeBob (28), Patrick (12), Squidward (11)
Good morning, Gary!
GaryMeow.
A little overboard? And take a chance at being late for the single most greatest day of my career. The 100th anniversary of the Krusty Krab. Oh, oh, oh, I think not. No self-respecting Krusty Krab employee would be late on this day.
[A line of alarm clocks are leading to the inside of Squidward's house.
[muttering] What the?
[yelling out of his window] See you at the big event, Squidward!
[Surprised] Gary was so right about you! You're a non-sharer!
Gary said that? You're off my friend list, Gary!
GaryMeow. [turns and slithers back into SpongeBob's house]
Hand it over, Patrick! I get to play with the Patty Pal today!
You can't take it, It's not fair!
How about I take it for half a day?
Mm-mm!
How about we trade off every hour?
Mm-mm!
Every half hour?
Mm-mm!
Every fifteen minutes?
Mm-mm!
Five minutes?
Mm-mm!
One minute?
N-n-no!
Okay then, for our final offer we trade off every second!
[They pass Patty Pal back and fourth every second]
One.
One.
One.
[Pause, Patrick runs off while SpongeBob tears himself angrily]
[Gary has ordered the abrasive side for SpongeBob]
[puts on the abrasive side] Ah, it feels like a glove.
GaryMeow.
Thanks, Gary! You're always there for me! Huh, I wonder how this thing works. [switches to the abrasive side]
Eh, why don't ya scram, you little freeloader? [switches back to SpongeBob, who blinks, then switches back to the abrasive side] Hmph! Bottom feeder!
See ya, Gary!
GaryMeow?
Oh, Gary, It's a photo! It's a framed photo of the moment I picked you up at the pound! I remember that day like it was yesterday. Oh, and a photo of the time you built me a castle made of glitter and lollipops! [sniffles] Gary, this is the most special -- [snaps out of it] OH...! Nice try, Gary!
GaryMeow!
Gare-Bear, we looked everywhere! There are no more Snail Bites! I'm sorry, Gary, but the answer is....... No.
GaryMeow.
[Gary goes to bed and stops meowing all together, to SpongeBob's surprise]
That thing's eating Squidward!
Not our bestest buddy! We gotta save him! Okay, play 33. I need you to go long. And... break. You're going down, Fisherman! [starts beating up Squidward's Fisherman costume while SpongeBob grabs Squidward's neck]
Don't worry, Squidward. We'll get you out of that old monster. Let's get to the window. [he and Squidward jump out of the window and Patrick throws heavy objects onto Squidward] Okay! I think you got it! [sirens sound; Squidward grumbles as he is taken into an ambulance] Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, there, there, no need to thank us. We were only doing what friends to for the bestest buddy. Well, I guess we don't have to worry about that old monster anymore. [The Fisherman costume growls at them]
Huh?
[scream and run into ambulance. The Fisherman costume falls down, revealing Gary]
GaryMeow. [starts sleeping on the costume]
[Gary answers the door and sees Plankton in the disguise as a salesman. Plankton gently pets Gary, but Gary growls angrily at him]
Why, hey there, little fella! Is SpongeBob... [clears throat] I mean your master at home? [Plankton's fake ear slips, but he pushes it back] Eh, perhaps I could just come inside for a minute and demonstrate our fine snail products. [opens his case and shows snail care products] Shell polish, slime deodorant, chew toys...
GaryMeow! [Gary slams the door on Plankton, breaking off part of his disguise]
My leg!
What do you dream about?
GaryMeow.
Mostly, I dream of flying above it all...
Aww, that's sweet.
While I breathe fiery destruction upon my enemies!
[gulps] Hey, if you're gonna dream, dream big, right?
[An exhausted SpongeBob walks up to the front door of his house]
[sighs and looks at his watch] Well, I may have missed the live broadcast, but at least I got it all on tape. Here I come, "Mermaid Man!" [tries to open the door but it's locked] Oh. [tries to pull it open but to no avail; he checks his pockets] Where'd I put my keys? [peaks through the window] Did I leave them on the table again? [sees his VCR going haywire and it spits out the tape's film] No, my tape! [the ice block explodes and soda flies everywhere] My soda! [the popcorn machine explodes] My popcorn! [sees everything a complete mess] My "Mermaid Man!" [the house bursts into flames and he screams]
Gary[gets shot out of the house on a flying soda bottle. SpongeBob goes to catch Gary, but he lands on his face] Meow. [slithers off of SpongeBob]
[SpongeBob, completely shocked at what happened, starts feeling really sad and begins to cry. His crying is so loud that it is heard all across Bikini Bottom, which results in waking up the townsfolk. Moments later, Squidward, Patrick, Sandy, Larry, Mr. Krabs, Plankton, and Mrs. Puff arrive to see what was the matter]
Hey there, SpongeBob. Why all the waterworks?
[sniffles and wipes his tears with his nose like a windshield wiper] I was so busy helping everyone that I missed "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy" and my VCR didn't record it and now I'll never see it and my life has no meaning! [sulks away from his friends and goes back into his burning house crying hysterically, now that his chances of seeing the long-lost episode of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy has been shattered. All of SpongeBob's friends including Squidward look on at him with sad faces and realized what they had done: they took his kindness for granted and inexplicably ruined his chances of seeing the episode he's been looking forward to watching]
[SpongeBob laughs as the cart falls through the floor. The Flying Dutchman leans over to hear. SpongeBob's laughter hits him hard again]
How can he still be laughing? I've never been so humiliated. I got to do something here.
Boy, Patrick, I wish all our friends could be here. They'd love this place! [laughs]
Friends! He's got friends. That's it! I know how to scare this guy. [laughs evilly as he unleashes his ghostly mist down from his ship into Bikini Bottom]
[gives candy to several trick-or-treaters] Happy Halloween! [the ghostly mist surrounds her and takes her soul from her body] What in Fort Worth...?
[Several trick-or-treaters run up to Mr. Krabs and Squidward, who are handing out candy]
Trick or treat!
[Suddenly, the Flying Dutchman's ghostly mist surrounds them and takes their souls from their bodies]
Huh? Oh! [screams]
[The souls of Sandy, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward are being lifted in the air by the ghostly mist]
Hey!
[The trick-or-treaters laugh and throw eggs and toilet paper at Squidward and Mr. Krabs' motionless bodies. Mr. Krabs growls in anger. Back inside the Flying Dutchman's ship, SpongeBob and Patrick are still riding the cart. Patrick is still afraid while SpongeBob continues to laugh, still thinking it's funny. SpongeBob stops laughing and sighs]
[her soul is in one of the Flying Dutchman's cages] SpongeBob! Patrick! Help me!!!
[laughs] That almost looks like Sandy! [laughs]
[his and Plankton's souls are in two of the Flying Dutchman's cages] SpongeBob!
Patrick!
[his soul and Gary's are in two other cages] Help us!!!
Gary[forlornly] Meow, meow!
[laughs] That almost looked like Mr. Krabs and Squidward and Gary and Plankton! [giggles] Funny! Oh, Patrick, this is hysterical! [laughs] Why aren't you laughing? [giggles until he notices Patrick's motionless body] Patrick, what's wrong with you?
[his soul suddenly appears in one of the Flying Dutchman's cages] Help me, SpongeBob! My body's butt itches!
Patrick, is this really happening? Hey, this isn't funny.
I was wrong, SpongeBob. Sometimes, scary equals scary!
[screams at Patrick's motionless body] Hm? [pulls out his chalkboard, erases the word "funny," and replaces it with "AHHH!"] Yup. I got the same answer. Scary equals "AHHHHH!!!".
Success! I knew that would get him!
[SpongeBob is finally convinced that scary doesn't equal funny at all and screams in terror. His skeleton tears itself out of his body and runs off. SpongeBob's skin and skeleton run out of the ship. SpongeBob's skeleton and skin fall to the ground and attempt to run]
That's the scariest thing I ever saw in my life!
Me too! But we gotta go back.
Go back?! Are you nuts?!
Show a little backbone! We gotta save our friends!
Oh, you're right, but I'm still scared. Will you hold my hand?
Deal! [they both go back together and SpongeBob heads back to rescue his friends]
[Mr. Krabs knocks on the front door to SpongeBob's house.]
SpongeBob! SpongeBob? SpongeBob? Are you okay in there? You catch the flu or something? Ugh. Are you at death's door? Because you know darn well they ain't valid excuses to miss work! [peeks through the window and finds to his shocking surprise that SpongeBob is slithering on the floor with his tongue like a snail; SpongeBob eats some food from Gary's food bowl] Ah! SpongeBob has gone full raving loony. [hears something] Uh-oh! [hides underground as Gary appears]
Gary♪Meow—meow—meow—meow—meow—meow—meow. Meow—meow—meow—meow—meow—meow.♪ [enters the house]
[Mr. Krabs peeks through the window again. He sees SpongeBob rubbing his head against the chair while Gary's reading the paper. Gary pets SpongeBob and holds out a snail toy for him to play. SpongeBob plays the toy with his eye. Mr. Krabs gasps and drills himself inside through the floor.]
GaryMeow?
What in the name of Neptune's nostrils is going on in here?! SpongeBob, you're acting like you're the pet and that darn snail is the owner!
Gary[hits Mr. Krabs with the toy] Meow! Meow—meow—meow.
[grabs the toy] Bad snail! Down boy! [gets attacked by SpongeBob] SpongeBob, what are you— [gets licked and pummeled by SpongeBob until he pushes him off and shakes him violently] Oh, snap out of it, SpongeBob!
[SpongeBob doesn't respond. Mr. Krabs pulls out a Krabby Patty, breaks it in half and puts it under SpongeBob's nose. SpongeBob smells the patty's scent and shakes himself back to normal, snapping himself out of the strange trance.]
[dazed] Mr. Krabs?
Have you completely lost your mind, boy-o? Snails ain't supposed to have arms and legs.
Aww, but Gary is so happy with his new limbs.
[Gary files his new arms.]
Oh, is he? Well, it's time to cut this nonsense! [growls and goes to fight Gary] Ay! [growls at Gary viciously] Huh-hah! [leaps over to Gary and cuts the arms and legs, returning Gary back to his normal self]
Gary[sniffs the severed limbs] Meow. [slithers over to his food bowl, removes SpongeBob's name and goes to eat his food]
[Plankton's taxi stops in front of the Chum Bucket as it's about to explode.]
[walking with doomsday device] I gotta be careful with you. [laughs] One wrong move and you'll blow the whole ocean sky-high. [laughs, notices Spot] Huh? [Spot barking happily]
Huh, the good times never last. [screams and runs away as the Chum Bucket and Spot crush him] Ouch! [Spot continues growing, catching the attention of others.]
Huh? [murmuring]
[escaping Spot] Karen! [SpongeBob, Karen, and Gary come out of spot] None of my sticky notes said to turn Spot into a behemoth!
Well, this wouldn't have happened if [points to Plankton] you had trained him properly.
I'm a busy man. [waves finger at Karen] You should've been following my instructions.
Excuse me? I am your computer wife, not your computer maid!
[whimpering]
[off-screen] I slave all day over a hot keyboard-- [An open shot of Earth is shown as Spot continues to grow larger.]
[off-screen] Oh, so everything is my fault! It's all ones and zeroes with you, honey. [being held by Karen] You probably made Spot bigger than me on purpose...
Ooh! [holds bone] Aha!
To make me feel small!
[calling] Spot?
[notices bone] Ah!
Your mouth is the biggest part of you-- [off-screen, Spot gets excited and licks his lips] Everything about you is small.
[off-screen, Spot tries to reach for the bone] My heart is big.
My mother was right, I should not have settled.
Look!
[look at Spot, Karen's screen turns into a question mark] Huh? [Spot starts barking, pushing towards them]
Spot! I think he's... dividing.
Aww, he doesn't like it when Mommy and Daddy fight. Come on, boy. Come to Papa. Come to Daddy.
Come on, boy!
Come on.
Gary[meowing]
[Spot detatches from his body mass and falls down]
Spot! [Spot lands on top of Plankton.]
[picks up Spot] Aww. [gets licked] Aww.
[picking up Plankton and Spot] Oh, I can't stay mad at these [touches Plankton, screen turns into heart] cute little faces.
Well, I'm still a little mad. [Spot licks him, both laugh]
Well...oh! Maybe SpongeBob could give you the ol' [makes eating motions with hands] bite and chew.
[opens SpongeBob's mouth]
Ahh.
[looking inside SpongeBob's mouth] Great teeth, [SpongeBob's tongue turns into a flexing bicep] healthy tongue... [minty breath comes out of the mouth and kisses it] Minty-fresh breath. Spread my ketchup, the perfect mouth! It would be an honor, SpongeBob.
[eyes tearing up] Oh, no, Krabby Patty. The honor is mine.
Bon appétit, friend. [SpongeBob picks it up and starts putting it to his mouth]
Halt! [kicks SpongeBob out the way with his butt, picks up Krabby Patty] I deserve this patty. I'm clearly the hungriest. [holds out belly, then gets hit with pie, The clown picks up Krabby Patty and honks his horn. The other candidates start fighting over the patty, creating a fighting cloud.]
[backing away, but get dragged into the cloud] Whoa! [The fighting cloud jumps all over the place, while Squidward is ignoring the fight. Krabby Patty crawls out of the cloud.]
[last words] All this for little old me. Ha-ha. Why, if you'd told me when I was a lifeless pile of ingredients that someday I'd... [Gary eats it, everyone stops fighting]
Huh?
Gary[swallows patty]
Welp, I guess it got what it wanted.
So, Gary, [nudges Gary with elbow] how was it?
Gary[burps, slithers away]
Wow.
Halt! [points to Sandy, everyone else angry] I blame the squirrel for this fracas. She made us turn on each other with her wicked, wicked science. [everyone starts shouting at Sandy]
Well, science giveth, and science taketh away. [uses her Anthropomorphizer to turn a barrel sentient and rides away on it] Take me away, science. Yee-haw! [The customers all continue shouting at Sandy as they start chasing her. The camera irises out as the episode ends.]
[comes through kitchen window with bag] Don't worry, SpongeBob. I figured you might have a little trouble [opens suit hatch] getting back to your homestead, [tosses bag into suit, several supplies start floating around in it] so I brung along some supplies.
Huh? Yeah!
And I couldn't forget [takes Gary from bag] this little feller.
GaryMeow.
[narrating time card] Several days later...
[SpongeBob's suit is now a murky green, and several items are floating around in it.]
Gary[murmuring, slithering around suit, SpongeBob is whistling while cooking patties]
[holding four large trays of patties, grumbling, then loses balance] Whoa! [falls down, and one patty lands onto a customer's table]
Mmm. [is about to eat the patty, then has an allergic reaction, and scratches hives] Oh. [flailing arms, screaming] Whaa! [puffs up, falls over]
[As Squidward walks by with a patty, all of the customers start having allergic reactions.]
Oh, no, the customers are allergic to patties, too! [turns suit arm into vacuum, then reaches it out from kitchen, Squidward yelps]
[sucking up old lady] Quick, get inside the suit! [sucks up customer scratching back on table] You'll be safe in here.
Whoa!
[Several customers run around screaming as SpongeBob uses the arm vacuum to suck them all up. Customers are inside suit, groan, Suddenly, the customers' allergies go away. Customers chattering]
My rash is gone!
Whoa.
Totally cured.
[yelps, bangs on office door] Mr. Krabs!
[opens door, money all over him, unimpressed] Yes? [eye stalks get grabbed by Squidward into kitchen] Oh!
SpongeBob lost his marbles! He sucked all the customers into that crazy contraption!
The patty allergy's spreading, Mr. Krabs. The customers are allergic too.
Calm down, lad! I'm sure you're just exaggerat-- [has allergic reaction] hmm? [screams, then gets sucked in vacuum]
Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I'll save you! [Squidward runs away]
[enters suit, allergy goes away] That's better.
Excuse me, Mr. Sofa. [He lifts the sofa and vacuums underneath the sofa] Huh, look at that, Gary, it's the present for Santa last Christmas. Isn't that nice? [SpongeBob is shocked that the present was accidentally left behind the sofa for seven months] The present I left for Santa last Christmas!? He never got it. Oh, this is the worst disaster that has ever happened.
GaryMeow.
My present for Santa's 212 days late! [SpongeBob begins to cry] Late. It's a tragedy. [SpongeBob uses the ribbon of the gift to blow his nose while Gary reacts to the blue snot.] My joyful carefree world is both dark and dreary and I can't go on! Nope, I'll go on... But I can't go on!
[SpongeBob cries]
Woohoohoo!
Huh?
[Whistles] Woohoo! Five stars!
[Sniffing rose] Patrick, I wasn't acting, Santa never got his Christmas present.
Well, so why not just deliver it to him?
[turning the page] While the Prince took a quick nappy-poo, the seven jellies who live in the hive were happily at work.
[Melodic buzzing is heard as the camera pans down to the seven jellies, with most of them in a minecart. Gary tosses a pickax to Nutty, then to Puffy, Drippy, Cooty, and Dummy. A pickax falls onto Dummy's head, who grabs it. The jellies are seen mining for jelly as Gary passes by on a minecart rack.]
[singing] ♪ We mine, flowers of the sea so we can make sweet jelly.
[using a calculator] ♪ And I can make, me money. ♪
[emerges from the jelly pile] ♪ This pollen sure smells funny. ♪ [sneezes, propelling himself into the sky, screaming]
[mines at a flower, then struggles to pull her pickax out, which hits the other jellies, making Puffy inflate as well and making everyone fall down into the jelly barrow]
Ooh!
GaryMeow?
[gasps, then yells as Dummy crushes her into the pile, then everyone emerges from it]
[look at each other] Huh? [laugh before a cuckoo clock goes off]
[A cuckoo clock on the side of a mountain goes off. The cuckoo bird, which looks like Lady Prunes, comes out.]
Stop working, you morons! It's 5 o'clock! [spits] Bingo! [goes back inside the clock]
[cheering as they leave]
[grunting as he pushes the minecart]
[narrating] When the Seven Jellies got home, [the jellies enter their house, Nutty screams] They did not expect to find a snoring monster in their kitchen.
[stuck in the same position, snoring]
Abrasive SpongeBobTom Kenny · 691 quotes
PatrickBill Fagerbakke · 344 quotes
SquidwardRodger Bumpass · 334 quotes
KMr. Krabs261 quotes
PPlankton138 quotes
SandyCarolyn Lawrence · 76 quotes
KarenJill Talley · 44 quotes
Mrs. PuffMary Jo Catlett · 37 quotes
French NarratorTom Kenny · 32 quotes
PatchyTom Kenny · 23 quotes
PearlLori Alan · 22 quotes
FredMr. Lawrence · 19 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
