Patrick, what are you doing here?
PatrickI don't know. [smiles wanly] I'm funny.
S6 Suction Cup Symphony
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Played by Bill Fagerbakke
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in SpongeBob SquarePants: in 344 of its 1,068 quotes
Most scenes with: Abrasive SpongeBob (271), Squidward (106), Mr. Krabs (61)
Scenes with Patrick 322
Patrick[looking at his score with a triumphant but sleepless face] I did it. [kisses the score and laughs] Yes! [runs out of his house in an ecstatic delirium] I did it! I did it! I did it! And I did it! Ha ha ha ha!
Patrick[watching Squidward run out the door as SpongeBob sews his butt and laughs] Did what?
[Squidward runs over to the stadium]
Here you go, maestro, my masterpiece.
CConductor
[looks at the score; in a German composer accent] Hmm, oh, very unusual. I think we have a winner, Mr. Tentacles! [Squidward smiles, cuts to later where Squidward is about to conduct his song]
JJohnny
Good evening, music lovers of Bikini Bottom. Tonight, is the premiere of a new symphony, written by one of our own, Squidward Tentacles.
[Squidward walks up on stage and starts conducting his composition, everything is fine until he hears Patrick using a tongue depressor on himself. Squidward looks at his music and, much to his shock and dismay, finds out that there are drawings of SpongeBob and Patrick on it.]
[gasps] Huh?!
[It turns out that Squidward inadvertently wrote down everything he heard from SpongeBob's doctoring. The music is then followed by Patrick hitting his own knee with a hammer and screaming while SpongeBob times his reflex]
I wrote down everything I heard?! [gulps and looks at the audience, SpongeBob drops a brick on Patrick's leg, then an anchor]
PPilar
Oooo! That's gonna leave a mark! [Squidward sweats in embarrassment]
[SpongeBob puts on a rubber glove then squeaks a rubber duck near Patrick as he screams, then uses the x-ray, then the laugh machine, then reading magazines, then SpongeBob plays with his brain, then he's reading magazines again, then using the x-ray again, then the laugh machine, then the duck, then the magazine, then playing with the brain. This process repeats twice, second time shorter time. Throughout the performance, Squidward continued to conduct the orchestra while barely paying attention to his conducting, due to SpongeBob and Patrick distracting him with their odd procedures to each other. SpongeBob then uses the blood pressure pump to inflate Patrick, he loses control of the air in his body and starts flying around like a balloon, smacking into Squidward as the song ends]
NNazz
That poor guy. [as Patrick sits up straight on Squidward after deflating, the song comes to an end]
Patrick, get off of me! [Patrick does so, Squidward growls at him, then looks at the audience, Squidward begins to sadly walk off the stage, but then everyone begins cheering]
AMAudience Member
Oh, now that's what I call music!
SShubie
That little yellow guy is awesome!
BBill
Let us not forget the tubby starfish!
Oh, yeah, but the real genius is the composer! [all chanting] Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!
Wow, Squidward, they really liked you! Just don't get a "swelled head." [Squidward's head begins to inflate, because Patrick is using the blood pressure pump, causing Squidward to look at him suspiciously and then we can hear an explosion as the screen cuts to black, ending the episode]
S6 Suction Cup Symphony
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PatrickSpongeBob, the weird therapy is working. Your craters are coming back. We just have to keep pushing the boundaries. We've gotta get stranger. [Cuts to Jellyfish Fields where SpongeBob is riding on Patrick's back like a horse and catches a jellyfish in the net. Another crater comes back. Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick licking the sand and as SpongeBob is licking, his nose grows back to normal size. Cuts to Patrick and SpongeBob standing on their hands] Talk backwards.
Tap, erus uoy era? (Are you sure, Pat?) [SpongeBob's legs and arms are back to normal]
[Patrick's rock begins to open]
It's me, Squidward. I'm looking for SpongeBob. [Squidward is in a normal state] Hi, how are ya?
[SpongeBob is so scared and shocked at how Squidward looks that he screams himself back into his regular self]
PatrickSpongeBob, you're back to your square shape!
Wow, I guess Squidward's normal looks scared me back to my original form! [hugging Squidward] Thanks, buddy, you saved my life!
NSNormal Squidward
Wonderful weather we're having, hm?
It sure is, buddy. It sure is. [he and Patrick laugh whilst the episode ends]
[SpongeBob runs out of the theater, he grabs an ax and looks for Boaty, he sees a bus coming toward him, SpongeBob strikes at it with his axe. The bus stops, and everyone in Bikini Bottom steps out]
Huh?
Sheesh. Calm down, boy.
You're all still alive? Well, where did you go?
It was National No SpongeBob Day!
"National No SpongeBob Day"?
Yeah. A whole day dedicated to getting away from you!
A day? But you guys have been gone for weeks!
Uhh... heh heh, yeah well... we kinda milked it a little.
[Patrick comes out of the bus, he has balloons and a t-shirt with SpongeBob crossed out on it, SpongeBob sees this and gasps in shock]
You too, Patrick?
PatrickYeah. Everyone needs at least one day away from... [laughs like SpongeBob imitating his face]
[sadly] I'm... glad you had fun. [sobs]
Aww, cheer up, boy. It's a whole day inspired by you.
Really?
Of course! [cut to a scene of everyone in Bikini Bottom except SpongeBob around a SpongeBob made of wood] First, we build a giant wooden effigy of you, then we burn it to the ground. [the citizens burn it] Whoo-hoo! Burn, baby! [cut to everyone dancing on the ashes of the effigy] And dance on the ashes like there was no tomorrow. [cut back to the present time]
Wow. A whole day dedicated to me! [blushes]
PatrickBig deal. Wait 'til you see "No Patrick Day"! Come on, everyone. Let's go!
[Everyone gets back on the bus. SpongeBob knocks Patrick off when he tries to get on. The bus drives off and Patrick immediately forgets what happened and what he said]
PatrickWhere'd everybody go? Hello? Hello [looks around and the episode ends as a heartbeat is faintly heard]
S6 Gone
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Patrick[sprays dirt with a water hose then dips SpongeBob who is sun bleached and horribly dry, into a puddle of mud, wipes the mud away from his eyes, puts two slabs of jerky for SpongeBob's buck teeth, then rips out his own armpit hair] AAHHHH! AAH-AHH-AAAHH! [instantly turns calm, then places the armpit hair onto SpongeBob's head, then gives SpongeBob a mirror] See?
[screams, horrified] I...look... [adoring voice] Amaaaziiing. Time to go to the party! [cuts to them walking down the street. SpongeBob pats a baby in a stroller] Oh what a cute wittle baby. Coochie coochie coo!
NNorma
Monster! [runs away, running over SpongeBob, then comes back and stomps on him then walks off screen]
PatrickWell, hey, buddy, looks like you could use an ice cream.
S6 Sun Bleached
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Patrick[about Squidward's kelp flowers, with a soft tone] They're pretty!
[shrieks] Patrick!
And SpongeBob!
What are you two doing here?
Patrick is helping me to do good deeds today, like trimming your kelp garden! [points to Patrick, who takes a large bite out of the kelp, then burps]
[yelling] STOP EATING MY KELP! [shoves Patrick and SpongeBob]
PatrickOkay, okay, geez! I try to help a fellow out. I'll just have to eat this ice cream cone instead!
Oh! Do you like to eat ice cream, Patrick?
PatrickHmm, yeah.
Then have some more! [sprays the ice cream]
Patrick[falls over when the ice cream gets bigger] Whoa! Oof!
Ha, ha, ha! Still want that ice cream?
PatrickBoy I do! Thanks, Squidward! Want some, SpongeBob? Last one to the cone is a rotten clam!
There you go, Mr. Krabs! You always wanted to make "big" money!
[Cuts to live-action footage of a crowd booing]
Good deed accomplished! I ask for no reward.
PatrickYou're a saint, SpongeBob! A SAINT!
I know, and it is a burden I must carry.
SpongeBob! [pants and bonks him on the head] HEY! Look what you did to me! If you don't fix my nose, you'll hear from my lawyer!
Are you sure?
PatrickYeah, you'll be ugly again.
Yes, I'm sure!
LBLittle boy
Wait! Maybe he's a nice monster, like in my story book.
Oh, right, I haven't thought of that. Well, are you?
Oh, goodness gracious, yes. Squidward is the nicest giant of them all.
PatrickYeah! Squidward, tell them about all those times that you didn't punch me in the face.
Even though you really wanted to.
[yelling] OH, QUIET, YOU MORON!
[All gasp]
FFFemale fish 1
He hurt the little one's feelings!
FFFemake fish 2
Why, that's not very nice at all!
[yelling] Take him down, boys! [following the lifeguard fish, the mob uses a giant rake slingshot to hit his foot]
OW!!! [holds his foot and hops backwards. Harold, Scooter, Nazz, and Fred set up a giant rake behind him. Squidward steps on it and falls down after it hits him on the back of the head. The lifeguard comes up with a big tube of lipstick]
This oughta fix him! [puts lipstick on Squidward's lips. The mob stops yelling]
Okay, okay, I'm nice! Now will you leave me alone? [is shown to be tied to the ground with ropes]
What are you doing with my cheese?
PatrickIt's rotten garbage now. [throws it in the garbage, then blasts it with a rocket launcher] That's better.
That was my cheese! It's supposed to smell like that, kelp for brains!
S6 No Nose Knows
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[reading tombstone] Here lies the nose of Patrick Star. Rip. [referring to the R.I.P as Rest in Peace] Well, this is terrible! All Patrick wanted was to be like the rest of us, and we punished him for it.
Who cares? At least now that pink moron will leave us alone.
PatrickI heard that! [moves to Patrick with giant human ears]
S6 No Nose Knows
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You were trying to tell me that all along Weren't you, Gary?
Meow, meow!
Well, I won't let it happen again.
JJudge
Well, I think we can all agree that this year's groomers cup goes to...SpongeBob and his wonderful pet!
Did you hear that, Gary? They're rewarding you for standing up and speaking out against injustice. Maybe these pageants aren't so superficial after all.
JJudge
What are you talking about? The snail didn't win, I was referring to your other pet. He's so adorable.
PatrickWoof, woof! [sticks his tongue out]
S6 Grooming Gary
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Good idea coming here, Patrick!
PatrickThat’s my specialty.
Having good ideas?
PatrickNo, being called Patrick.
S6 Porous Pockets
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Like we're really gonna turn all this money for-
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Wrestle Camp! Wrestle Camp, Wrestle Camp, Wrestle Camp!
Wrestle Camp it is.
[The janitor vacuums up all the money and Mr. Krabs falls apart, then the janitor walks away]
See you at Wrestle Camp, Mr. Krabs! [drops a wrestle camp hat on Mr. Krabs and the episode ends]
S6 Krusty Krushers
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More SpongeBob SquarePants characters
All SpongeBob SquarePants quotes →
Abrasive SpongeBobTom Kenny · 691 quotes
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KMr. Krabs261 quotes
PPlankton138 quotes
SandyCarolyn Lawrence · 76 quotes
KarenJill Talley · 44 quotes
Mrs. PuffMary Jo Catlett · 37 quotes
French NarratorTom Kenny · 32 quotes
GaryTom Kenny · 30 quotes
PatchyTom Kenny · 23 quotes
PearlLori Alan · 22 quotes
FredMr. Lawrence · 19 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.