[looking at his score with a triumphant but sleepless face] I did it. [kisses the score and laughs] Yes! [runs out of his house in an ecstatic delirium] I did it! I did it! I did it! And I did it! Ha ha ha ha!
[watching Squidward run out the door as SpongeBob sews his butt and laughs] Did what?
[Squidward runs over to the stadium]
Here you go, maestro, my masterpiece.
[looks at the score; in a German composer accent] Hmm, oh, very unusual. I think we have a winner, Mr. Tentacles! [Squidward smiles, cuts to later where Squidward is about to conduct his song]
Good evening, music lovers of Bikini Bottom. Tonight, is the premiere of a new symphony, written by one of our own, Squidward Tentacles.
[Squidward walks up on stage and starts conducting his composition, everything is fine until he hears Patrick using a tongue depressor on himself. Squidward looks at his music and, much to his shock and dismay, finds out that there are drawings of SpongeBob and Patrick on it.]
[gasps] Huh?!
[It turns out that Squidward inadvertently wrote down everything he heard from SpongeBob's doctoring. The music is then followed by Patrick hitting his own knee with a hammer and screaming while SpongeBob times his reflex]
I wrote down everything I heard?! [gulps and looks at the audience, SpongeBob drops a brick on Patrick's leg, then an anchor]
Oooo! That's gonna leave a mark! [Squidward sweats in embarrassment]
[SpongeBob puts on a rubber glove then squeaks a rubber duck near Patrick as he screams, then uses the x-ray, then the laugh machine, then reading magazines, then SpongeBob plays with his brain, then he's reading magazines again, then using the x-ray again, then the laugh machine, then the duck, then the magazine, then playing with the brain. This process repeats twice, second time shorter time. Throughout the performance, Squidward continued to conduct the orchestra while barely paying attention to his conducting, due to SpongeBob and Patrick distracting him with their odd procedures to each other. SpongeBob then uses the blood pressure pump to inflate Patrick, he loses control of the air in his body and starts flying around like a balloon, smacking into Squidward as the song ends]
That poor guy. [as Patrick sits up straight on Squidward after deflating, the song comes to an end]
Patrick, get off of me! [Patrick does so, Squidward growls at him, then looks at the audience, Squidward begins to sadly walk off the stage, but then everyone begins cheering]
Oh, now that's what I call music!
That little yellow guy is awesome!
Let us not forget the tubby starfish!
Oh, yeah, but the real genius is the composer! [all chanting] Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!
Wow, Squidward, they really liked you! Just don't get a "swelled head." [Squidward's head begins to inflate, because Patrick is using the blood pressure pump, causing Squidward to look at him suspiciously and then we can hear an explosion as the screen cuts to black, ending the episode]
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