The gloves are off now. [takes his hand off to show a human hand] It's booger time!
SpongeBobOh, booger, schmooger, you don't even have a nose. [pokes his nose]
Oh, yeah? [clenches his face, and forms a nose. SpongeBob gasps, and Patrick picks his nose]
SpongeBob
[screams] Booger! [continues screaming while running to the front door of the Krusty Krab, with Patrick behind him] Run! Run, Mr. Krabs! Patrick is digging for gold! [they run into the kitchen]
Gold? [giggles; runs into the kitchen to find the gold, but comes out with nothing]
[to Mr. Krabs] Did you get any of Patrick's "gold"?
He's not digging for any gold I'm looking for!
[to the audience] Welcome to the Krusty Krab, where it's almost if the evolutionary clock ticks backwards.
[in the kitchen]
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Squidward had a Krabby Patty...
[at the cash register, Squidward is trying to take a customer's order, but Patrick and SpongeBob are still singing]
Excuse me for just a second. [he pokes his head through the order window to talk to SpongeBob and Patrick] Do you mind? I'm trying to work at a fast food restaurant. You might wanna try it some time!
SpongeBob
I sure would, Squidward. That sounds----
Hey, wait a minute! SpongeBob, you already do work at a fast food restaurant.
[it looks like SpongeBob forgot that he already works at a restaurant, which is very unusual, considering he has worked at it since "Help Wanted"]
SpongeBob
Oh, yeah.
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Yay!
Remind me to fire my therapist.
SpongeBob
Squidward...
SpongeBob
You're back! Oh, Squidward...I love you no matter how many times we smash your face.
Almost wish that meant something.
[Crowd leaves after seeing Squidward not handsome anymore]
Hey, where you going?! Don't leave me! Please, I'm beggin' ya! Look. I can make him handsome again. Watch! [slams the door on Squidward's face repeatedly] See? [slam!] He's getting handsome. It just takes a little- [slam!] -Effort, just a little- [slam!] -Elbow grease. Please! Come back!
GMrs. Gristlepuss
I am Mrs. Gristlepuss. We are The United Organization Of Fish Against Things That Are Fun And Delicious. Or, T.U.O.O.F.A.T.T.A.F.A.D. for short. And we are going to ban these so called "Krabby Patties" and close your restaurant forever!
SpongeBob
[pops up] Mrs. Gristlepuss, maybe if you were to taste the Krabby Patty for yourself, you too could experience the awesome pleasure.
GMrs. Gristlepuss
I would soon the sprout legs and do the Watusi.
SpongeBob
Ooh, okay.
Ah, it don't matter anyway, lad, she can't close us down. [later, the Krusty Krab is locked up and has a "Closed" sign on it.] She closed us down. I'M RUINED!!! [crying] How did is come to this?
You called Miss Gristlepuss a disgusting old prune then you threatened her with a french fry strainer.
Well, I didn't know where husband was a chief of police.
SpongeBob
Hi, Squidward. I'd like you to meet my cousin, Stanley.
THERE'S TWO OF THEM?! AHHHH! [runs into his house, gathers up all his belongings, and puts a "For Sale" sign next to his house. A Bikini Bottom Movers van picks him up] STEP ON IT!!! [The van drives off]
Your friend Squidward seems busy.
SpongeBob
Ah, that's okay. I'm sure Sandy can think of something.
SpongeBob
Stanley, I cannot keep covering for you! [screams upon seeing Stanley bent his spatula] No! Not my spatula! My spatula... [sniffs] The thing I hold nearest and dearest to my heart...
[enters] SpongeBob, what in the name of Neptune is going-- ? Oh, you broke your spatula. That's a shame. I'll order another one tomorrow, boy.
SpongeBob
No, no, no!!! I didn't break my spatula, he did it! And I also didn't burn your money. He did that, too! I have been covering for him, because he can't DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!!!! [he breathes very heavily after screaming out the truth]
He's right! I ruin everything I touch!
SpongeBob
Good luck on your new job, cousin Stanley!
Thanks! I bet I'll be even better in this one!
Good morning, Mr. SquarePants!
I can't believe it! That fool Krabs hiring the blood relative of his best worker! [Mr. Krabs watches as the Chum Bucket explodes, and laughs] Well, that's the end of me.
SpongeBob
Why, Mr. Krabs? WHY does he HATE us so?!
Well, you might as well blame me, SpongeBob. There was a time when Plankton and I...were...best friends.
[Shocked gasps from everyone]
SpongeBob
Best friends?!
Friends at birth, you might say. Even as wee ones.
LLRH
Well, shall we continue on with the rest of the tour?
Y'all head out without me. [goes back inside]
LLRH
Well, then, good luck, have fun. We'll see you at dinner. [to SpongeBob] Your friend Sandy certainly is an excitable one.
SpongeBob
Quite.
Somehow I knew I'd get stuck with you yahoos the longest.
[Patchy reappears]
[realizes that there is no water left] This is the end of Patchy. No water, no food, and still no Encino. And here come the vultures to pick me bones! [Potty flies up] Shiver me timbers! It's Potty! I wonder what parrot tastes like... Come back here! Uh-oh. Here come the hallucinations.
SpongeBob
[laughs] Patchy, it's me. SpongeBob SquarePants. [Patchy is excited and laughs weakly] Don't lose hope. Everything will be all right when you get to Encino.
SpongeBob
It's not gone, if you believe.
Believe, believe. [falls asleep. Wakes up and reads the sign] Welcome to Encino! It's back! [hugs the sign] SpongeBob was right! All I had to do was believe! [laughs cheerfully]
♪You got to believe. It was out of sight. You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to believe. Everything's all right. The sky above, and the ground below. Bring me back into Encino. It was lost, some time ago, I'm just glad to be back home. You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to believe. Everything's all right. You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to believe. Everything's all right.♪
[Patchy is shown playing an instrumental by a man and woman at a bench, annoying them and making the latter's baby cry. They walk away as the chorus joins back in]
♪You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to believe. Everything's all right. You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got--♪
[drops his ice-cream scoop and we hear strange sounds. Potty squawks, and then pokes Patchy] Ow! Ow! It was all a hallucination. Encino's still... gone! [Patchy groans] Ooh, a sandwich. Potty, you're a lifesaver. [opens a sandwich] Oh! Oh, Potty, you know I don't like mayo! [sees a vulture] Here, you want some? Go on. Uh... take it. I don't like the mayonnaise, you know. Once it gets up above 130, 135, the mayonnaise gets kind of... grody, you know.
Plankton's wrath tastes like ice cream!
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Thanks, Plankton!
Ice cream? It shoots ICE CREAM?! [jumps out of the tank] Oversized ice cream maker! [childishly kicks the tank but hops around in pain] Yah! Ouch! Ouch!
LLRH
Look! A talking speck! This talking speck will make a fantastic [glares at SpongeBob and Patrick] replacement for our recently deflated national treasure! [looks at Plankton and speaks in a babyish tone] Won't you, little fella?
I'll destroy all of you...!
LLRH
[squeezes Plankton within his hands] Amazing! This is so much better than that dusty old bubble!
[is later seen in a baby bottle cage] You haven't seen the last of me! When I get out of here, I'll hunt you all down like a pack of... [someone takes a picture] Hey! Can't you read? [points at sign] No flash photography.
Here it is! You must recognize this place.
Don't recognize the Krusty Krab? Stop your kidding, boy. [takes out the greasy spatula that SpongeBob used to use] And start frying up them patties.
MCMayor CheeseHead
[holds the spatula] I was a fry cook before?
Aye, the best in the business. Now get flipping.
MCMayor CheeseHead
Look, guys, as much as I'd love to toil the days away flipping burgers, [leaves] I think I'll just go back to my modest job [drops the spatula] as mayor of a major city.
Whoo-hoo-hoo, SpongeBob's leaving for real this time! [to Mr. Krabs] Mr. Krabs, I brought back your number one fry cook. You gotta pay up.
All right, Mr. Squidward, a deal's a deal. Here's your fancy egg.
Oh, it's beautiful! [Squidward laughs with excitement and is admiring his egg until he slips on the spatula, which sends the egg flying] No...! [when SpongeBob the mayor leaves the Krusty Krab, the egg crashes onto his head. Squidward is upset that his egg is destroyed and a bump rises on the SpongeBob's head]
SpongeBob
Yeah, just a bit of a headache, Sandy-- [He looks around the Krusty Krab and realized that his memory is coming back] Hey, I remember this place!
We're really sorry we ran you out of town, boy. But we're glad you're back.
SpongeBob
I'd really love to stay, but the people of New Kelp City need their mayor. [put on the mayor hat again] Goodbye, everyone.
KSMr. Krabs, Sandy, and Patrick
Oh, not again. / What? / Huh?
[before SpongeBob leaves the Krusty Krab] Stop what you're doing and don't go out that door. [SpongeBob stops and looks at the TV in the Krusty Krab] This is a KNKC special report. Panic in the streets of New Kelp City as rampant bubbles bring visibility down to 0. The angry citizens here blame the apocalyptic scene on Mayor CheeseHead BrownPants and his newly-enacted bubble policy. [gets punched aside by Pirate 12 again]
P1Pirate 12
If I ever see Mayor BrownPants again, I'm gonna grab his little, yellow head and literally rip his—! [screen changes to "We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties. Share the frustration."]
[SpongeBob is in the Krusty Krab kitchen.]
SpongeBob
[rings a bell] Order up! [hands a Krabby Patty on plate] Who wants to be a dumb old mayor when you're the best fry cook in town? [laughs] And how could I ever leave behind my bestest friends?
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, Krabby Patty! [eats the Krabby Patty] SpongeBob, another masterpiece.
It's great to have you back, Spongy!
SpongeBob
[sighs] Looks like I'm back in Bikini Bottom forever!
[In the background cows are mooing. Squidward opens his head, removes his brain, and throws it in the trash can]
[upon seeing SpongeBob spying on him through the window] SpongeBob! How long have you been spying on me?!
SpongeBob
Umm... What day is it today?
It's the day you go away and never come back!
SpongeBob
But Squidward, if I do that, then how am I going to help you get your house ready for the big TV show?
How did you know about that?
SpongeBob
I was spying on you.
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
