Stanley quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

SpongeBob

Hi, Squidward. I'd like you to meet my cousin, Stanley.

Stanley

We're related.

Squidward

THERE'S TWO OF THEM?! AHHHH! [runs into his house, gathers up all his belongings, and puts a "For Sale" sign next to his house. A Bikini Bottom Movers van picks him up] STEP ON IT!!! [The van drives off]

Stanley

Your friend Squidward seems busy.

SpongeBob

Ah, that's okay. I'm sure Sandy can think of something.

SpongeBob

Stanley, I cannot keep covering for you! [screams upon seeing Stanley bent his spatula] No! Not my spatula! My spatula... [sniffs] The thing I hold nearest and dearest to my heart...

[enters] SpongeBob, what in the name of Neptune is going-- ? Oh, you broke your spatula. That's a shame. I'll order another one tomorrow, boy.

SpongeBob

No, no, no!!! I didn't break my spatula, he did it! And I also didn't burn your money. He did that, too! I have been covering for him, because he can't DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!!!! [he breathes very heavily after screaming out the truth]

Stanley

He's right! I ruin everything I touch!

SpongeBob

Good luck on your new job, cousin Stanley!

Stanley

Thanks! I bet I'll be even better in this one!

Good morning, Mr. SquarePants!

Stanley

Morning, boss.

I can't believe it! That fool Krabs hiring the blood relative of his best worker! [Mr. Krabs watches as the Chum Bucket explodes, and laughs] Well, that's the end of me.

Stanley

[thud] Sorry, boss.