South Park · Season 2, Episode 8
“Summer Sucks” · Season 2, Episode 8
In this episode: Stan Marsh (3), Kyle Broflovski (3), Eric Cartman (2), Mr. Garrison (1), Jimbo (1), Ned (1)
Hello children, how is your summer going?
Summer sucks bad, Mr. Garrison.
Hey, have you found Mr. Hat yet?
Oh, oh, that old thing? Why, I almost forgot he was gone. I don't need Mr. Hat.
That's good.
Mr. Hat is just a puppet.
Yep.
Mr. Hat isn't real.
Right.
[Flashback scene to when the boys were toddlers, and are playing with fireworks. Stan and Kyle set off a little rocket, to their amusement. Kenny is holding a firecracker, and blows his head off.]
Oh gosh, killed Kenny!
Oo bastoods!
[Rats converge on baby Kenny's headless corpse.]
[The snake breaks down Jimbo and Ned's cell wall]
Holy crap, what the heck is that?
It looks like my ex-wife!
[The boys have called Chef for advice on how to deal with the Ash Snake]
Giant snake? Killing everybody? Growing bigger? [looks at the women surrounding him] Now, children, you know I rarely say this, but well... fudge ya.[hangs up, goes back to singing] 🎵 Simultaneous, you and me! 🎵
What did he say?
Dude, I think he told us to go fuck ourselves.
Wow!
How's that going to help?
[The boys stop in front of a sign with "Stu's Fireworks" written on it]
Oh yeah, dude, it's summer. That means we've gotta buy fireworks!
I saved up enough money to buy M-80s this year.
I saw in this movie once, where this guy stuck a firecracker up a cat's butt.
Cool, maybe we can do that to Cartman's cat!
Hey! If you so much as touch Kitty's ass, I'll put firecrackers in your nut sack and blow your balls all over your pants!
Jesus, Cartman!
[his voice trailing off] Well, I'm just-- seriously now, don't mess with Kitty, now.
[Chef was vacationing on an island while the gargantuan firework snake ravaged the country. After blowing the snake up, the townspeople are seen trying to clean up the mess, but as a result of all the ash in the air, it looks like they're all in blackface]
Okay, everybody get into line, so I can whoop all yo' asses!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
