My uncle Jimbo says that after this he's gonna take me hunting in Africa.
Wow. That'd be cool.
My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.
“Volcano” · Season 1, Episode 3
In this episode: Eric Cartman (2), Stan Marsh (2), Kyle Broflovski (2), Officer Barbrady (1), Jimbo (1), Ned (1)
My weenies won't cook.
NNed
Mmmm-this wood won't burn-mm.
Well, Ned, looks like we'll have to use the old Indian fire trick.
NNed
Mmmm-yepper. [pours gasoline onto the burning wood, then catches fire] AAAAAHH!
Huhahaha! Hey, stop, drop, and roll, Ned! Ah ha haha!
[Ned accidentally tips the gas can over, creating a fire trail that leads to Jimbo's van, blowing it up]
SKStan and Kyle
Whoa!
God dammit, Ned! I just got that van. How the hell are we s'posed to get home?
NNed
Mmm-oh, it hurts! It hurts! Owwww!
Cartman [roasting a hot dog over Ned's flaming body]: Hey, guys. This works pretty good right nyah.
Okay people, listen up. As we near the top of the mountain, the chances of our encountering some lava becomes great. Therefore, I have special ordered this training film to assist us in volcano safety. Mr. Garrison, if you would, please?
[Garrison turns on the movie projector to watch a 1952 training video called Lava and You.]
IInstructor
Harbingers of sorrow, natural disasters can be the cause of troubling and undesirable stress—and a volcano is no exception. But what should you do if a volcano erupts near you or your family? Here, we see the Stevens family enjoying on their picnic. But suddenly, daughter hears a noise: it's a volcano. Junior seems worried—but have no fear, Junior. Jane learned in school what to do when you hear a volcano erupt. [Jane uses a picnic blanket, covering her family] That's right, Jane—duck and cover. [lava passes through blanket, leaving family unharmed] So what will you do when you hear a volcano erupting? That's right, duck and cover. Looks like you got the idea. Duck and cover. Thank you and goodbye. [end of film]
Okay, any questions?
CChef
(indignant) That has got to be the most ridiculous load of pig crap I have ever seen!
That's enough out of you!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.