The little critters cheered and Beavery said with a smile
How would you like to sing and dance with us for a while?
The boy in the red poof ball hat smiled and said...
(does not smile) Uh, no thanks, I'm gonna go home.
“Woodland Critter Christmas” · Season 8, Episode 14
In this episode: Stan Marsh (5), Narrator (3), Beavery (3), Kyle Broflovski (2), Santa (1), Beary (1), Foxy (1), Rabbity (1)
[Stan is forced to go on a quest to kill the mountain lion]
High up in the forest on a dark, craggy peak/The horrid mountain lion and preyed on the weak./For the critters to be saved, someone had to stop that nasty old cat.
[irritated] Goddammit, this is fucking ridiculous!
Said the little boy in the red poof ball hat.
Stanny, you're alive.
But, does that mean you killed the mountain lion?
It's dead.
DDeery
For real and for true?
Are you sure?
I'm sure. It won't be hurting you anymore.
He did it! Now our critter Christmas can finally happen! (raises arm in a salute) Hail Satan!
CCritters
(raise arms) Hail Satan!
(confused) Wait, wha-what?
You've done us a huge favor, Stanny! Without the mountain lion around, the Lady Porcupiney can give birth to the Antichrist!
CCritters
Yaaay!
Wai-wait, the Antichrist?! You said she was giving birth to your savior!
Yeah, to the Son of our Lord, Satan, Prince of Darkness.
(stunned) But I thought you meant the Son of God!
DDeery
Well, think about it: You really think God would have sex with a porcupine?
CYChickadee-y
No way! Only Satan, Prince of Darkness and King of all Evil would do that! Yay!
FFoxy
This is cause for celebration! Let's sacrifice Rabbity and eat his flesh!
Yay! Sacrifice me to the Devil!
SSSquirrely the Squirrel
Blood orgy! Blood orgy!
SCSinging critters
What special time! What special day! It's Woodland Critter Christmas!
SSSquirrely the Squirrel
Hail Satan!
I am sorry that I killed your mom but the squirrel told me that she was evil.
MLMountain Lion Cub
You got tricked by a squirrel? Gee, you are not too smart, are you mister?
Look, there's Santa Claus!
[the Critters cheer in joy]
RRacoony
Let's eat his flesh!
[certainly not his usual jolly self] Alright, what the HELL IS GOING ON?! Why is there a red star glowing in the sky?!
BBBeary the Bear
[last words before he gets shot down] Gee whiz, Santa, you're not going to kill me, are ya--
[Santa shoots him]
Stan! What the hell is going on?!
It's Critter Christmas, dude! It sucks ass!
And they all lived happily ever after, except for Kyle, who died of AIDS two weeks later.
[voice over] Goddamn it, Cartman!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.