I thought you knew about birds!
Well, it's a foreign one.
Do you just pretend for the telly?
It's, it's a foreign one!
Oh...racist.
S1919x03
We don't mention Lily Allen.
We don't mention her? What did she do to you?
She put super-glue on your bird table.
What's your final answer?
TTony
Medication.
Stand up a minute...
Why, what's wrong with me?
Nah, just stand up...You look like you've been drawn by children!
[Laughter]
"Here is a man in a suit. I've got lots of brown so here's his hair!"
That's what I was going for...
"Hair or Blair?"
What's that?
"Hair or Blair?" I'm trying to think up new rounds!
Very good, "Hair or Blair?". What about [simultaneously with other panellists] "Bill or Kill?"?
Well, three has a dance music face...if there can be such a thing. Four has a guest dance vocal musicalist hair. If you put that hair and that face together, it would definitely be that one...but unfortunately they exist in separate bodies. Perhaps something could be done about that...
There he is, blaspheming again. Against God's work.
[Thunder is heard]
God is not happy with you, Stewart Lee.
You know what it's like, you're trying to guess a song, and you end up looking at a hat.
You would say that...because you hate the baby Jesus.
How dare you come on here with that Pagan-Marxist agenda, this is God's Pop Quiz.
Stay friends with the editor, that's my advice.
Stay friends with the doctor, that's my advice.
S1919x04
With regulars Simon Amstell, Bill Bailey, Phill Jupitus
With guests Amy Winehouse, Penny Smith, Alex Pennie, Andrew Maxwell
Hello there and welcome to Never Mind the Buzzcocks. [Reading from a paper] "Officially the funniest show on TV right now. Simon Amstell is a competent and witty host, taking the viewer on a whirlwind journey of hilarious pop based comedy. Five stars"....No one's written that...
Amy's likes include Kelly Osbourne and the smell of petrol. I quite like matches, let's do lunch.
[Watching a Paris Hilton video]
Overpriced, arrogant, covered in dog poo, and since that tunnel opened, any old tosser with fifty quid can get in. It's Paris!
Do we know what Cliff Richard's biography is called?
Cliff Richard's biography is called - Cliff Richard: The Biography.
AAlex
Oh, Christ.
Amy, is that hair yours, and is anything living in it?
That's not the GMTV way!
It would be if I had my way, I'd say that hair is fantastic!
AAmy
Oh, yeah it's all mine...'cause I bought it.
Did you see Pennie smash up the instruments on GMTV?
I did, and I was in the studio when he did it...
You must have wanted to smash up the GMTV set though, a couple of times... or at least Fiona Phillips' patronizing witch-face.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Never Mind the Buzzcocks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.